Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
发布时间 2014-12-04 18:47:52 来源
Welcome. I'm very excited today to talk about effective speaking in spontaneous situations. I thank you all for joining us, even though the title of my talk is grammatically incorrect. I thought that might scare a few of you away. But I learned teaching here at the business school, catching people's attention is hard. So something as simple as that, I thought might draw a few of you here.
欢迎大家。我今天很兴奋地要谈谈如何在即兴情况下有效地演讲。我感谢大家的加入，尽管我的演讲标题语法上有误。我想这可能会吓跑一些人。但我在商学院教书时已经学到，吸引人们的注意力很难。所以我认为，这样简单的做法可能会吸引你们中的一些人前来听讲。
So this is going to be a highly interactive and participative workshop today. If you don't feel comfortable participating, that's completely fine. But do know I'm going to ask you to talk to people next to you. There'll be opportunities to stand up and practice some things because I believe the way we become effective communicators is by actually communicating. So let's get started right away.
今天的工作坊将会是一个高度互动和参与的。如果您不愿意参与，完全没有问题。但是请注意，我会要求您与身边的人交谈。我们将有机会站起来练习一些东西，因为我相信我们成为有效沟通者的方式是通过实际沟通。因此，让我们立即开始吧！
I'd like to ask you all to read this sentence. And as you read this sentence, what's most important to me is that you count the number of F's that you find in this sentence. Please count the number of F's. Keep it quiet to yourself. Give you just another couple seconds here. Three, two, one. Raise your hand, please, if you found three and only three F's. Excellent. Great. Did anybody find four? Okay. Anybody find only five F's? Anybody find six? There's six F's. What two letter word ending in F did many of us miss of? We'll make sure to get this to you so you can torment your friends and family at a later date. When I first was exposed to this over 12 years ago, I only found three and I felt really stupid. So I like to start every workshop, every class I teach with this to pass that feeling. No, no, no, that's not why I do this.
我想请大家读一遍这句话。当你们读这句话时，对我来说最重要的是你们能数出这句话中的F的数量。请数一下F的数量。不要告诉别人，默数即可。再给你们几秒钟。三、二、一。请举手，如果你们数到的是三个且只有三个F。很好，很棒。有人数到四个了吗？好的。有人只数到五个F吗？是有人数到六个F的。这个两个字母以F结尾的单词被我们中的许多人所忽略了。我们会给你们这个答案，你们可以在以后的某个时间折磨你们的朋友和家人。当我在12年前第一次接触这个问题时，我只找到了三个，感到很愚蠢。所以每次我教授工作坊和课程时，我都会从这个问题开始，来度过这个感觉。不，不，不是因为这个我这么做。
I do this because this is a perfect analogy for what we're going to be talking about today. The vast majority of us in this room, very smart people in this room, were not as effective as we could have been in this activity. We didn't get it right. And the same is true when it comes to speaking in public, particularly when spontaneous speaking. It's little things that make a big difference in being effective.
我这么做是因为这是对我们今天要谈论的主题的完美类比。在座的绝大多数非常聪明的人，在这项活动中的表现并没有达到我们的最佳水平。我们没有做到正确。当涉及到公开演讲时，特别是即兴演讲，我们也是如此。一些微小的细节能够在有效性上起到关键作用。
So today we're going to talk about little things in terms of your approach, your attitude, your practice that can change how you feel when you speak in public. And we're going to be talking primarily about one type of public speaking. Not the type that you plan for in advance, the type that you actually spend time thinking about, you might even create slides for. These are the keynotes, the conference presentation, the formal, toasts. That's not what we're talking about today.
今天我们将谈论关于你的态度、方法、练习等方面的微小细节，这些微小的改变能够影响你在公众面前的表达感受。主要谈论的是一种公众演讲，不是事先计划、认真考虑的演讲，你可能会为其制作幻灯片，如主题演讲、会议发言、正式敬酒辞等演讲形式。我们今天不会讨论这些。
We're talking about spontaneous speaking. When you're in a situation that you're asked to speak off the cuff and in the moment, what we're going through today is actually the result of a workshop I created here for the business school. Several years ago, a survey was taken among the students and they said, what's one of the, what are things we could do to help make you more successful here? And at the top of that list was this notion of responding to cold calls.
我们正在谈论即兴演讲。当你处于被要求即兴演讲的情况下，今天我们所经历的实际上是我在商学院创建的一个研讨会的结果。几年前，对学生们进行了一项调查，他们说，有什么可以帮助你们在这里更成功的事情？在名单的顶部是回应冷门电话的这个概念。
Does everybody know what a cold call is? It's where the mean professor like me looks at some students, it's what do you think? And there was a lot of panic and a lot of silence. So as a result of that, this workshop was created in a vast majority of first year students here at the GSB go through this workshop. So I'm going to walk you through sort of a hybrid version of what they do.
大家知道什么是“冷访”吗？就是像我这样的恶劣教授盯着一些学生，问一些问题，让学生想一想。之前，有很多学生恐慌了，沉默了。因此，我们在此创建了一个工作坊，绝大多数GSB的一年级学生都参加了这个工作坊。现在，我将向你展示他们所做的混合版本。
The reality is that spontaneous speaking is actually more prevalent than planned speaking. Perhaps it's giving introductions. You're at a dinner and somebody says, you know so and so would you mind introducing them? Maybe it's giving feedback in the moment. Your boss turns you and says, would you tell me what you think? It could be a surprise toast or finally, it could be during the Q&A session. And by the way, we will leave plenty of time at the end of our day today for Q&A. I'd love to hear the questions you have about this topic or other topics related to communicating.
实际上，自然流畅的演讲比计划好的演讲更普遍。也许是为了介绍某人，你在晚宴上，有人说：“你认识某某吗？你能介绍一下吗？” 也可能是在当下提供反馈。你的老板转过头来问你：“你认为怎么样？” 可能会出其不意地发表演讲或在问答环节中。另外，我们今天将在结束时留有充足的时间进行问答。我很想听听你们对这个话题或其他相关沟通话题的问题。
So our agenda is simple. In order to be an effective communicator, regardless of if it's planned or spontaneous, you need to have your anxiety under control. So we'll start there. Second, what we're going to talk about is some ground rules for the interactivity we'll have today and then finally we're going to get into the heart of what we will be covering and again, as I said, lots of activity and I invite you to participate.
我们的议程很简单。为了成为一个有效的沟通者，无论是计划好的还是即兴的，你需要控制好自己的焦虑。所以我们将从这里开始。其次，我们将讨论一些今天互动的基本规则，最后我们将进入今天的主要内容，同样，我们会进行很多活动，并邀请你积极参与。
So let's get started with anxiety management. 85% of people tell us that they're nervous when speaking in public and I think the other 15% are lying. We could create a situation where we could make them nervous too. In fact, just this past week, a study from Chapman University asked Americans, what are the things you fear most? And among being caught in a surprise terrorist attack, having identity, your identity stolen, was public speaking. Among the top five was speaking in front of others. This is a ubiquitous fear and one that I believe we can learn to manage. And I use that word manage very carefully. because I don't think we ever want to overcome it. Anxiety actually helps us. It gives us energy, helps us focus, tells us what we're doing is important, but we want to learn to manage it.
那么，让我们开始学习如何管理焦虑情绪。据调查，85%的人在公众场合讲话时会感到紧张，我认为剩下的15%是在撒谎。事实上，就在上周，查普曼大学进行了一项研究，美国人最害怕的事情是什么？除了被突然袭击的恐怖袭击，身份盗窃，公开发言也是排在前五位之一的。这是一种普遍存在的恐惧，我相信我们可以学会管理它。我特别强调“管理”，因为我不认为我们要消除它。焦虑实际上有助于我们。它赋予我们能量，帮助我们集中精力，让我们知道我们正在做的事很重要，但我们要学会如何管理它。
So I'd like to introduce you to a few techniques that can work and all of these techniques are based on academic research. But before we get there, I'd love to ask you, what does it feel like when you're sitting in the audience watching a nervous speaker present? How do you feel? Just shout out a few things. How do you feel? Uncomfortable. I heard many of you going, yes, uncomfortable. It feels very awkward, doesn't it? So what do we do? Now a couple of you probably like watching somebody suffer, but most of us don't.
我想介绍几种基于学术研究的有效技巧。但在此之前，我想问一下你，当你坐在观众席看着紧张的演讲者演讲时，你有什么感受？你会感觉到什么？请大声说出来。你觉得怎样？不舒服。我听到很多人说不舒服。这会感觉非常尴尬不是吗？那么我们该怎么办？虽然一些人可能喜欢看别人受苦，但我们大多数人并不喜欢。
So what do we do? We sit there and we nod and we smile or we disengage. And to the nervous speaker looking out at his or her audience seeing a bunch of people nodding or disengage, that does not help. So we need to learn to manage our anxiety because fundamentally your job as a communicator, rather, regardless of if it's planned or spontaneous, is to make your audience comfortable. Because if they're comfortable, they can receive your message. And when I say comfortable, I am not referring to the fact that your message has to be sugar coated and nice for them to hear. It can be a harsh message, but they have to be in a place where they can receive it. So it's incumbent on you as a communicator to help your audience feel comfortable.
那么我们应该怎么做呢？我们坐在那里，点头微笑或置身事外。对于一个紧张的演讲者来说，看到观众们点头或置身事外是没有帮助的。因此，我们需要学会管理自己的焦虑，因为作为一个沟通者，无论是计划好的还是即兴的，你的工作是让你的观众感到舒适。因为如果他们感到舒适，他们就能接受你的信息。当我说舒适时，我并不是指你的信息必须被涂上糖衣或是听起来很好。它可以是一个严厉的信息，但他们必须处于一个接受它的地方。因此，作为一个沟通者，你有责任让你的观众感到舒适。
And we do that by managing our anxiety. So let me introduce you to a few techniques that I think you can use right away to help you feel more comfortable. The first has to do with when you begin to feel those anxiety symptoms. For most people, this happens in the initial minutes prior to speaking. In this situation, what happens is many of us begin to feel whatever it is that happens to you. Maybe your stomach gets a little gurgly, maybe your legs begin to shake, maybe you begin to perspire. And then we start to say to ourselves, oh my goodness, I'm nervous. Uh oh, they're going to tell I'm nervous. This is not going to go well. And we start spiraling out of control.
我们通过控制焦虑来实现这一点。因此，让我向您介绍几种技巧，我认为您可以立即使用，以帮助您感觉更舒适。第一种方法是当您开始感受到焦虑症状时。对大多数人来说，这在演讲前的前几分钟发生。在这种情况下，我们中的许多人开始感觉到发生在您身上的任何事情。也许您的肚子有点咕噜作响，也许您的腿开始颤抖，也许您开始出汗。然后我们开始对自己说，哦，天哪，我很紧张。噢，他们会发现我很紧张。这不会顺利进行。我们开始失控。
So research on mindful attention tells us that if when we begin to feel those anxiety symptoms, we simply greet our anxiety and say, hey, this is me feeling nervous. I'm about to do something of consequence. And simply by greeting your anxiety and acknowledging it that it's normal and natural. Heck, 85% of people tell us they have it. You actually can stem the tide of that anxiety spiraling out of control. It's not necessarily going to reduce the anxiety, but it will stop it from spinning up. So the next time you begin to feel those anxiety signs, take a deep breath and say, this is me feeling anxious.
关于专注力的研究告诉我们，如果我们开始感觉焦虑，只要简单地向焦虑打个招呼，说：“嘿，这是我感到紧张。我要做一件重要的事情。”仅仅通过迎接你的焦虑并承认它的正常和自然，事实上，85%的人告诉我们他们也有它的存在，你可以遏制焦虑失控的趋势。这不一定会减轻焦虑，但它会阻止它进一步恶化。所以下次当你开始感到焦虑时，深呼吸，说：“这是我感到焦虑。”
I notice a few of you taking some notes. There's a handout that will come at the end that has everything that I'm supposed to say. Okay. Can't guarantee I'm going to say it, but you'll have it there. In addition to this approach, a technique that works very well, and this is a technique that I helped do some research on way back when I was in graduate school, has to do with reframing how you see the speaking situation. Most of us, when we are up presenting, planned or spontaneous, we feel that we have to do it right. And we feel like we are performing. How many of you have ever acted, done singing or dancing? I'm not going to ask for performances now. Okay. Many of you have. We should note that we could do next year, maybe a talent show of alums. It looks like we got the talent there. That's great.
我注意到你们中有几个在做笔记。最后会有一份手册，里面包含了我要讲的所有内容。我不能保证我一定会说到，但你们会有这份手册。除了这种方法之外，还有一种非常有效的技巧，我在读研的时候曾经研究过这个技巧，它就是改变你对演讲情境的看法。大多数人在做演讲时，不论是预先计划还是即兴发挥，都觉得自己必须做到完美，而且觉得自己是在表演。你们中有多少人演过戏、唱过歌或跳过舞呢？现在不要表演，我只是问一下。很多人都有过这样的经历。我们可以注意到，明年我们可以举办一场校友才艺表演。看起来我们有很多才华，这是非常棒的。
So when you perform, you know that there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. If you don't hit the right note or your right line at the right time, at the right place, you've made a mistake. It messes up the audience. It messes up the people on stage. But when you present, there is no right way. There's certainly better and worse ways, but there is no one right way. So we need to look at presenting as something other than performance. And what I'd like to suggest is what we need to see this as is a conversation. Right now, I'm having a conversation with 100 plus people, rather than saying I'm performing for you. And it's not enough just to say this is a conversation. I want to give you some concrete things you can do. First, start with questions. Questions by their very nature are dialogic. They're two way.
当你表演时，你知道有正确和错误的做法。如果你没有在正确的时间、正确的地点、正确的位置，弹奏正确的音符或者唱对正确的歌词，你就会犯错。这会让观众和舞台上的人感到混乱。但是，当你进行演讲时，没有所谓的正确方式。当然，有更好、更糟糕的方式，但没有一种绝对正确的方式。因此，我们需要将演讲视为不同于表演的事情。我想要建议的是，我们需要把它看作是一场对话。现在，我正在和100多个人进行对话，而不是说我在为你们表演。但只是说这是一场对话是不够的，我想给你们一些具体的建议。首先，从问题开始。问题本质上是一种对话式的交流。
What was one of the very first things I did here for you? I had you count the number of F's and raise your hands. I asked you a question that gets your audience involved. It makes it feel to me as the presenter as if we are in conversation. So use questions. It can be rhetorical. They can be polling.
我在这里为你做的第一件事是什么？我让你数F的数量并举手。我问了一个能够让你的听众参与其中的问题。这让我作为演讲者感觉我们正在进行一场对话。因此，请使用问题。可以是修辞性的问题。也可以是投票式的问题。
Perhaps I actually want to hear information from you. In fact, I use questions when I create an outline for my presentations. Rather than writing bullet points, I list questions that I'm going to answer. And that puts me in that conversational mode. If you were to look at my notes for today's talk, you'll see it's just a series of questions.
也许我确实想要从你那里听到信息。实际上，当我为我的演讲创建提纲时，我会使用问题。我不会写条目，而是列出我将要回答的问题。这让我处于对话模式。如果你看一下我今天演讲的笔记，你会发现它只是一系列问题。
Right now, I'm answering the question, how do we manage our anxiety? Beyond questions, another very useful technique for making us conversational is to use conversational language. Many nervous speakers distance themselves physically. If you've ever seen a nervous speaker present, he or she'll say something like this, welcome. I am really excited to be here with you.
现在，我正在回答一个问题，那就是如何管理我们的焦虑？除了问题之外，让我们变得更有对话性的另一个非常有用的技巧是使用交谈式的语言。很多紧张的演讲者会在身体上与观众保持距离。如果你曾经看过一个紧张的演讲者演讲，他或她会说这样的话，欢迎大家。我真的很兴奋能和大家在这里相聚。
They pull as far away from you as possible because you threaten us, speakers. You make us nervous, so we want to get away from you. We do the same thing linguistically. We use language that distances ourselves. It's not unusual to hear a nervous speaker say something like, one must consider the ramifications or today we're going to cover step one, step two, step three.
他们尽可能地远离你，因为你让我们这些演讲者感到威胁。你让我们紧张，所以我们想离开你。我们在语言上也会采取同样的做法。我们使用距离化的语言来保持距离。听到一个紧张的演讲者说类似于“必须考虑后果”或“今天我们将讲解步骤一、步骤二、步骤三”这样的话并不少见。
That's very distancing language. To be more conversational, use conversational language. Instead of one must consider, say, this is important to you. We all need to be concerned with. Do you hear that inclusive, conversational language has to do with the pronouns. Instead of step one, step two, step three, first what we need to do is this. The second thing you should consider is here. Use conversational language.
这是非常疏远的语言。为了更加自然，使用口语化的语言。不要说“人们必须考虑”，而是说“这对你很重要”。我们都需要关注。你听说过包容性、对话式语言与代词有关吗？不要使用“步骤一、步骤二、步骤三”，而是说我们首先需要做这件事。你应该考虑的第二件事就是这里。使用对话式语言。
Being conversational can also help you manage your anxiety. The third technique I'd like to share is research that I actually started when I was an undergraduate here.
保持对话可以帮助您控制焦虑情绪。我想分享的第三种技巧是我在大学本科时开始研究的东西。
I was very fortunate to study with Phil Zimbardo of the Stanford Prison Experiment Fame. Many people don't know that Zim actually was instrumental in starting one of the very first shyness institutes in the world, especially in the country. I did some research with him that looked at how your orientation to time influences how you react.
我很幸运地跟随斯坦福监狱实验著名人物菲尔·辛巴多学习。很多人可能不知道，实际上辛巴多曾对创立全球最早的羞怯研究机构之一发挥了重要作用，特别是在本国。我曾与他一起进行研究，探讨了你的时间取向如何影响你的反应。
What we learned is if you can bring yourself into the present moment rather than being worried about the future consequences, you can actually be less nervous. Most of us when we present are worried about the future consequences.
我们学到的是，如果你能让自己置身于当下，而不是担心未来的后果，你实际上可以少一些紧张。我们大多数在演讲时都会担心未来的后果。
My students are worried they're not going to get the right grade. Some of you are worried you might not get the funding, you might not get the support, you might not get the laughs that you want. All of those are future states. So if we can bring ourselves into the present moment, we're not going to be as concerned about those future states and therefore we'll be less nervous.
我的学生们担心他们得不到正确的分数。你们中的一些人担心可能得不到资助，可能得不到支持，可能得不到你们想要的笑声。所有这些都是未来状态。因此，如果我们能让自己进入当前时刻，我们就不会太关心那些未来状态，因此我们会更少紧张。
There are lots of ways to become present oriented. I know a professional speaker. He's paid $10,000 an hour to speak. It's a good gig. He gets very nervous. He's up in front of crowds of thousands. Behind the stage what he does is 100 push-ups right before he comes out. You can't be that physically active and not be in the present moment.
有很多方法可以变得现在时态。我认识一个职业演讲者。他每小时得到1万美元的报酬。这是一份不错的工作。他紧张得要命。他要站在数千人的观众面前演讲。在舞台背后，他在出来之前做了100个俯卧撑。你不可能如此活跃而不处于当下。
Now I'm not recommending all of us go to that level of exertion because he starts out a breath and sweaty. But a walk around the building before you speak, that can do it. There are other ways. If you've ever watched athletes perform and get ready to do their event, they listen to music. They focus on a song or a playlist that helps get them in the moment.
现在我不建议我们都做到那种程度的运动，因为那会让我们喘不过气来出汗。但在演讲前，在建筑物周围散步就可以了。还有其他方法。如果你曾经观察过运动员表演和准备参加比赛，他们会听音乐。他们会专注于一首歌曲或播放列表，帮助他们进入状态。
You can do things as simple as counting backwards from 100 by tough numbers like 17. I'm going to pause because I know people in the room are trying. Yeah. It gets hard after that third or fourth one. I know. My favorite way to get present oriented is to say tongue twisters. Saying a tongue twister forces you to be in the moment otherwise you'll say it wrong.
你可以做一些简单的事情，比如按17的数字倒数100。我会暂停一下，因为我知道房间里的人正在尝试。是的，在第三或第四个数字之后会变得困难。我知道。我最喜欢让自己专注的方法是说绕口令。说绕口令会迫使你在当下，否则你会说错。
And it has the added benefit of warming up your voice. Most nervous speakers don't warm up their voice. They retreat inside themselves and start saying all these bad things to themselves. So saying a tongue twister can help you be both present oriented and warm up your voice.
这个练习还有一个额外的好处，就是可以帮助你热身嗓子。许多紧张的演讲者并没有为嗓子做热身准备，而是陷入自我怀疑，开始自言自语。所以说绕口令可以帮助你保持当下，同时也可以为你的嗓子做好热身。
Remember I said today we're going to have a lot of participation. I'm going to ask you to repeat after me my favorite tongue twister. And I like this tongue twister because if you say it wrong, you say a naughty word. And I'm going to be listening to see if I hear any naughty words this morning.
记得我说过今天我们将有很多参与。我将要求你们跟我一起练习我的最爱绕口令。我喜欢这个绕口令，因为如果你说错了，你会说出一个不好的词。而我会倾听，看看今天早上是否会听到任何不好的词。
Repeat after me. It's only three phrases. I slit a sheet. A sheet I slit. And on that slitted sheet I sit. Oh very good. No shits. Excellent. Very good. Now in that moment, in that moment, you weren't worried about. I'm in front of all these people. This is weird. This guy's having me do that. You were so focused on saying it right and trying to figure out what the naughty word was that you were in the present moment.
请跟着我重复，只有三个短语。我割开了一张纸。我割开的这张纸。我坐在那张割开的纸上。噢，非常好。一点也不难。优秀。非常好。这时，你不用担心你在这么多人面前，这很奇怪，这个人让你这样做。你专注于说对，并试图找出淘气的单词，你处于当下意识中。
That's how easy it is. So it's very possible for us to manage our anxiety. We can do it initially by greeting the anxiety when we begin to feel those signs. We can do it when we reframe the situation as a conversation. And we do it when we become present oriented. Those are three of many tools that exist to help you manage your anxiety. If you have questions about other ways, I'm happy to chat with you. And at the end, I'm going to point you to some resources that you can refer to to help you find additional sources for you.
这就是简单易行的方法。因此我们完全可以控制自己的焦虑情绪。当我们开始感觉焦虑的体征时，我们可以初始的时候对焦虑表示问候。当我们将局面重新定义成对话时，也可以做到这一点。而当我们变得关注当下时，同样可以做到。这些是许多帮助你控制焦虑的工具中的三个。如果您对其他方法有疑问，我很愿意与您交流。最后，我会为您指出一些资源，让您可以寻找更多资料。
So let's get started on the core part of what we're doing today, which is how to feel more comfortable speaking in spontaneous situations. Some very simple ground rules for you. First, I'm going to identify four steps that I believe are critical to becoming effective at speaking in a spontaneous situation. With each of those steps, I'm going to ask you to participate in an activity. None of them are more painful than saying the tongue twister out loud. They may require you to stand up. They might require you to talk to the person next to you, but none of them are painful. And then finally, I'm going to conclude with a phrase or saying that comes from the wonderful world of improvisation.
那么，我们开始今天的核心部分吧，即如何在自然情境下感到更自在地演讲。我先为你们概括四个步骤，我相信这些步骤对于成为善于在自然情境下讲话至关重要。在每个步骤之后，我会要求你们参加一项活动。这些活动都很简单，最困难的也只是读一遍绕口令而已。可能需要你们起身，或者和旁边的人交流，但没有任何一项是痛苦的。最后，我将以一句来自即兴表演世界的格言或名言作为结尾。
Through the continuing studies program here at Stanford, for the past five years, I have cotata class with Adam Tobin. He is a lecturer in the Creative Arts Department. He teaches film and new media. And he's an expert at improv. And we've partnered together to help people learn how to speak more spontaneously. We call it improvisationally speaking. And Adam has taught me wonderful phrases and ideas from improv that I want to impart to you. They're really stick. That's why I'm sharing them with you to help you remember these techniques. And again, at the end of all this, you'll get a handout that has this listed. So let's get started.
在斯坦福大学的继续学习计划中，过去五年里，我与Adam Tobin一起上过课。他是创意艺术部门的讲师，教授电影和新媒体。他是即兴表演的专家。我们合作帮助人们学习如何更加自然地讲话，我们称之为即兴演讲。Adam教给了我一些非常棒的即兴表演短语和想法，我想与大家共享。它们非常实用，这就是为什么我要与大家分享这些技巧，并且在本节结束时，你会得到一份手册。所以，让我们开始吧。
The very first thing that gets in people's way when it comes to spontaneous speaking is themselves. We get in our own way. We want to be perfect. We want to give the right answer. We want our toast to be incredibly memorable. These things are burdened by our effort, by our trying. The best thing we can do, the first step in our process, is to get ourselves out of the way. Easier said than done.
当涉及到即兴演讲时，最阻碍人们的第一件事情是他们自己。我们阻碍了自己。我们想要完美。我们想要给出正确的答案。我们想要我们的祝酒词非常难忘。这些事情被我们的努力和努力所负担。我们能做的最好的事情，我们流程的第一步，是让自己走开。易说难做。
Most of us in this room are in this room because we are type A personalities. We work hard. We think fast. We make sure that we get things right. But that can actually serve as a disservice as we try to speak in the moment. I'd like to demonstrate a little of this for you and I need your help to do that. So we're going to do our first activity. We're going to do an activity that's called Shout the Wrong Name.
在这个房间里，我们大多数人都是A型个性。我们努力工作，思维敏捷，确保我们做对每件事情。但是当我们想要在当下说话时，这可能会成为一种不利。我想给你们演示一下，我需要你们的帮忙。我们将进行我们的第一个活动，叫做出错喊错名字。
In a moment, if you are able and willing, I'm going to ask you to stand. And I'm going to ask you for about 30 seconds to look all around you in this environment. And you are going to point at different things. And I know it's rude to point, but for this exercise, please point. I want you to point to things. And you are going to call the things you are pointing to out loud, anything but what they really are. So I might point to this and say refrigerator. I might point to this and say cat. I am pointing to anything in your environment around you. It can be the person sitting next to you, standing next to you. You will just shout and shouting is important. The wrong name. So in a moment, I'm going to ask you to stand and do that.
在接下来的一会儿，只要你有能力和意愿，我将请你站立。我会要求你在这个环境中四处看30秒钟左右。然后你将指向不同的事物。我知道指着别人不礼貌，但是在这个练习中，请指向事物。指向的同时，你会大声喊出任何名称，但却不能是真实的名称。例如，我可能会指向这里，说这是冰箱。我可能会指向这里，说这是猫。你可以指向你身边的人，也可以指向其他事物，只要你大声喊出错误的名称。接下来，我要求你站起来并完成这个练习。
Please raise your hand if you already have the first five or six things you're going to call out. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. We stockpile. You all are excellent game players. I told you the game. Shout the wrong name. And you have already begun figuring out how you're going to master the game. That's your brain trying to help you get it right. I'd like to suggest the only way you can get this activity wrong is by doing what you've just done. There is no way to get this wrong.
请举手，如果你已经有了你要说出的前五或六件东西。是的，这就是我要说的。我们储备。你们都是优秀的游戏玩家。我告诉过你们游戏规则，你们已经开始想着如何掌握游戏了。这是你的大脑在帮助你做对。我想建议的是，唯一的方式让你在这个游戏中做错，就是做了你刚刚做的事情。这个游戏没有做错的方法。
Okay. Even if I call this a chair, no penalty will be bestowed upon you. Okay. Because I won't know what you were pointing at. You could have been pointing at the floor under the chair and you called the floor the chair and you were fine. The point is we are planning and working to get it right. And there is no way to get it right. Just doing it gets it right. Okay. So let's try this now. We're going to play this game twice again. It's for 30 seconds. If you are willing and able, will you please stand up? You can do this seated by the way. But if you're willing and able, let's stand up.
好的，即使我把这个叫做椅子，你也不会受到惩罚。因为我不知道你指的是什么。你可能指的是椅子下面的地板，而你称之为椅子，也是可以的。重点是，我们正在规划和努力做得正确。但没有任何方法可以做到完美。只有去做才能做对。好的，现在让我们试一试。我们要再次玩这个游戏两次，每次30秒。如果你愿意并且能够，能不能请站起来？当然，你也可以坐着玩，但如果你能站起来，就让我们一起站起来吧。
Okay.
好的。
In a moment, I am about to say go. And I would like for you to point at anything around here, including me. It's okay to point at me. I hope it's not a bad thing you say when you point at me. But point at different things and loudly and proudly call them different than what they are. Ready? Begin. Forkia Pine, California, Salt Shaker, Car, Library, Tennis Racket, Purple, Orange, Orange. Alright. Thank you.
马上我要说开始了。我想让你指着这里任何东西，包括我自己。指着我也没关系。希望你指着我的时候不要说坏话。但是你需要指着不同的东西，然后大声地、骄傲地说出它们的名称与实际不同。准备好了吗？开始吧。Forkia Pine（一种想象中的植物种类）、California（加州）、Salt Shaker（盐瓶）、Car（汽车）、Library（图书馆）、Tennis Racket（网球拍）、Purple（紫色）、Orange（橙色）、Orange（橙色）。好的，谢谢。
That was wonderful. I heard great words being called out. It was fun. And some of you in the back were doing it in sync. So it looked like you were doing some 70s disco It was awesome.
那太棒了。我听到很棒的赞扬。这非常有趣。而且你们后面的一些人在同步地做这件事，看起来像是在做一些70年代的迪斯科，真的很棒。
This was great. Now, let me ask you just a few questions. Did you notice anything about the words that you were saying? Did we find patterns perhaps? Maybe some of you were going through fruits and vegetables. A few of you were going through things that started with the letter A. Right?
这太棒了。现在，让我问你几个问题。你有没有注意到你说的单词有什么特点？我们找到了一些模式吗？也许有些人在说水果和蔬菜。有一些人在说以字母A开头的事物。对吗？
That's your brain saying, okay, you told me not to stockpile, so I'm going to try to be a little more devious, and I'm going to give you patterns, okay? Same problem. When we teach that class, I told you about that improvisationally speaking class. We'd like to say, your brain is there to help you. These things it's doing have helped you be successful. But like a windshield wiper, we just want to wipe those suggestions away and see what happens. So we're going to do this activity again.
这是你的大脑在说话，好的，你告诉我不要囤积，我会试着更狡诈一些，给你一些模式，好吗？同样的问题。当我们教授那个即兴演讲课程时，我告诉过你，我们想说，你的大脑是为了帮助你而存在的。它所做的这些事情已经帮助你取得成功。但就像一只雨刷器，我们只想擦掉那些建议，看看会发生什么。所以我们将再次进行这个活动。
This time, try the best you can to thank your brain if it provides you with patterns. Or stockpiles, and just say, thank you, brain, and disregard them. Okay? So let's see what happens when we're not stockpiling, and we're not playing off patterns. We'll do this for only 15 seconds. See how this feels, baby steps. Ready? Begin. Codec. Bicycle chain. Skateboard. Bananas. Purple. Putrid. Time.
这一次，请尽可能地感谢你的大脑，如果它为你提供了模式或者积累了象库，请只是简单地说声“谢谢，大脑”，并不要去理睬它们。好的，现在我们来看看当我们不积累，不依赖模式时会发生什么。我们只需要这样做15秒。感受一下它给你的感觉，就像是学习走路一样的小步子。准备？开始。Codec（编解码器），自行车链，滑板车，香蕉，紫色，有毒的，时间。
Please have a seat. Thank you again. Did you notice a difference between the second time and the first time? Yes. Was it a little easier that second time? No. That's okay. We're just starting. These skills are not like a light switch. It's not like you learn these skills, and then all of the sudden you can execute on them.
请坐。再次感谢您。您有没有注意到第二次和第一次之间有什么区别？有。第二次会更容易一点吗？不是。没关系，我们才刚开始。这些技能不像一个开关一样。学习这些技能并不意味着您一下子就可以掌握并实践。
This is a wonderful game. This is a wonderful game to train your brain to get out of its own way. You can play this game anywhere, anytime. I like to play this game when I'm sitting in traffic. Makes me feel better than the... I shout things out. They're not the naughty things that I want to be shouting out, but I shout out things and it helps. You're training yourself to get out of your own way. You're working against the muscle memory that you've developed over the course of your life with a brain that acts very fast to help you solve problems. But in essence, in spontaneous speaking situations, you put too much pressure on yourself trying to figure out how to get it right.
这是一个很棒的游戏。这是一款帮助你训练大脑摆脱自我束缚的优秀游戏。你可以在任何地方、任何时间玩这个游戏。我喜欢在交通拥堵时玩这个游戏。它让我感到比...我会大声说出一些话。虽然不是我想说出来的坏话，但这确实有帮助。你正在培养自己摆脱自己的能力。你正在与你生命中发展出来的肌肉记忆进行作战，而大脑则非常迅速地帮助你解决问题。但在实际的会话情境中，你会给自己太大的压力，试图想出如何正确地表达。
So a game like this teaches us to get out of our own way. It teaches us to see the things that we do that prevent us from acting. Spontaneously. In essence, we are reacting rather than responding to react means to act again. You've thought it and now you're acting on it that takes too long and it's too thoughtful. We want to respond in a way that's genuine and authentic.
这样的游戏教会我们如何去除自己的障碍，让我们看到阻止我们自然行动的事情。基本上，我们是在反应而不是回应。反应意味着再次行动，你已经思考了它，现在你正在行动，这需要太长时间和过多的思考。我们希望以真实和真诚的方式做出回应。
So the maximum I would like for you to take from this, and again, these maxims come from improvisation is one of my favorite, dare to be dull. In a room like this telling you dare to be dull is offensive and I apologize. But this will help rather than striving for greatness, dare to be dull. And if you dare to be dull and allow yourself that, you will reach that greatness. It's when you set greatness as your target that it gets in the way of you ever getting there. Because you over evaluate you over analyze you freeze up.
因此，我希望你能从中获得的最大收获是，这些格言来自即兴表演，我最喜欢的是“敢于平淡无奇”。在像这样的房间里告诉你敢于平淡无奇是有冒犯之嫌的，我很抱歉。但这将有所帮助，而不是追求伟大，大胆平淡无奇。如果你敢于平淡无奇，并允许自己这样做，你就会达到伟大。当你把伟大设为目标时，它会妨碍你达到目标。因为你过度评估，过度分析，你会僵住。
So the first step in our process today is to get out of our own way, dare to be dull. Easier said than done, but once you practice in a game just as simple as the one we practiced is a great way to do it. But that's not enough.
今天我们流程的第一步是走出自己的舒适区，敢于显得平淡无奇。这很难做到，但是一旦你在像我们练习的这样简单的游戏中练习，就是做到它的好方法。但这还不足够。
Getting out of our own way is important, but the second step of our process has us change how we see the situation we find ourselves in. We need to see the speaking opportunity that we are a part of as an opportunity rather than a challenge and a threat. When I coach executives on Q&A skills, when they go in front of the media or whatever, investors, they see it as an adversarial experience, me versus them. And one of the first things I work on is change the way you approach it.
让自己少干扰自己是重要的，但我们的过程的第二步是改变如何看待我们所处的情况。我们需要将自己参与的演讲机会视为机遇而不是挑战和威胁。当我为高管教授问答技巧时，当他们面对媒体或投资者时，他们会认为这是对抗性的经历，就是我对他们。我首先处理的之一就是改变你的态度。
A Q&A session, for example, is an opportunity for you. It's an opportunity to clarify. It's an opportunity to understand what people are thinking. So if we look at it as an opportunity, it feels very different. We see it differently and therefore we have more freedom to respond. When I feel that you are challenging me, I am going to do the bare minimum to respond and protect myself. If I see this as an opportunity where I have a chance to explain and expand, I am going to interact differently with you. So spontaneous speaking situations are ones that afford you opportunities.
问答环节是一个好机会，你可以借此机会澄清问题，了解人们的想法。所以，假如我们把它看作是一个机会，那么感觉就会截然不同，我们会有更多回应的自由。当我感觉你在挑战我时，我只会做最少限度的回应来保护自己。但当我将其看作是一个机会，我就有机会去解释和扩展，我的态度也会截然不同。因此，突发的交流情境是可以让你寻找到机会的。
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So when you are at a corporate dinner and your boss turns to you and says, oh you know him better than the rest. Would you mind introducing him? You say, great, thank you for the opportunity rather than, ah, right, I better get this right. So see things as an opportunity.
当你在公司晚宴上，你的老板转向你说：“噢，你比其他人更了解他。你介绍一下他行吗？”，你应该说：“非常好，谢谢你给我的机会”而不是“啊，好吧，我最好弄对这件事”。所以要把事情看成是一个机会。
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I have a game to play to help us with this. This is a fun one. The holidays are approaching. We all in this room are going to give and receive gifts. Here's how this game will work.
我有一个游戏，可以帮助我们解决这个问题。这是一个有趣的游戏。假期即将来临。在这个房间里，我们都要送和收礼物。这个游戏的规则如下。
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It works best if you have a partner. So I'm hoping you can work with somebody sitting next to you. If there's nobody sitting next to you, you turn around, introduce yourself. Great way to connect. If not, you can play this game by yourself. It's just a little harder and you can't do the second part of the game.
这个游戏最适合有伙伴一起玩。因此，我希望你能跟坐在旁边的人一起玩。如果旁边没有人，你可以转过身来自我介绍。这是连接的好方法。如果真的找不到伙伴，你也可以自己玩这个游戏。只是会比较困难，而且做不到游戏的第二部分。
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So after I explain the game, this gives you a chance to get to know somebody. Here's how it works. If you have a partner, you and your partner are going to exchange imaginary gifts. Pretend you have a gift. It can be a big gift. It can be a small gift. And you will give your gift to your partner.
所以，在我解释游戏的规则之后，这就给了你一个认识别人的机会。这是游戏的玩法：如果你有一个搭档，你和你的搭档会互相交换想象中的礼物。假设你有一件礼物，它可以是大礼物，也可以是小礼物，然后你会把礼物送给你的搭档。
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Your partner will take the gift and open it up and will tell you what you gave them. Because you have not. You just gave them a gift. So you are going to open up the box and you're going to look inside and you are going to say the first thing that comes to your mind in the moment.
你的伴侣会接过礼物，打开它，然后告诉你你送给了他们什么。因为你不知道里面是什么。所以你要打开盒子，看看里面的东西，然后说出你当时想到的第一件事。
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Not the thing you have all just thought of. Or the thing after that. Remember what we talked about before? That's still plays. That's still in play. Okay, you're stockpiling. Look in there. My favorite that I said, somebody gave me this gift during playing this game. I looked inside and I saw a frog leg. I don't know why I saw a frog leg, but that's what I said. That's the first part of the activity.
第六段：
不是你们刚才想到的那件事。也不是接下来的那件事。还记得我们之前谈论过的吗？那仍然有效。你们正在储备物资。看看那里面。我最喜欢的一项活动是，有人在玩游戏时送给我一份礼物。我打开一看，里面竟然是一条青蛙腿。我不知道为什么会看到一条青蛙腿，但那就是我所说的。这是这项活动的第一部分。
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Now, the opportunity is twofold in this game. The opportunity is for you, the gift receiver to name a gift. That's kind of fun. That's an opportunity. It's not a threat. But the real opportunity is for the gift giver. Because the gift giver then has to say, so you look at me and say, thank you for giving me a frog's leg. And the person will look at you and say, I knew you wanted a frog's leg because.
这个游戏有两个机会。一个是让你作为收礼者命名一件礼物，这非常有趣，是一个机会而非威胁。但真正的机会在于送礼者。因为送礼者随后需要说：“所以你说谢谢我送你青蛙腿。”然后收礼者会看着你说：“我知道你想要青蛙腿是因为……”
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So whatever you find, the person who has received it is going to say, absolutely. I'm so glad you're happy. I got it for you because. So you have to respond to whatever they say. Right? What a great opportunity. Now, some of you are sitting there and saying, oh, that's hard. I don't want to do it. I'm going to make them fool myself. Others of you are, if you're following this advice, are saying, what a great opportunity.
不管你得到了什么礼物，送礼人大多会回应道：“太好了你喜欢！我送你是因为…” 所以你得回应他们所说的话，是吧？这是一个很好的机会。现在，一些人可能会坐在那里说：“哦，这很难，我不想这么做，我会出洋相的。”而另一些人，如果你遵循以上建议，你可能会想：“多么好的机会！”
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So the game again is played like this. You and your partner will exchange, each will exchange a gift. One will start and the other will follow. The first person will give a gift to the second person. Second person opens the box. However big the box is. And if the box is big and you find a penny in it, perfect. Doesn't matter. The box is heavy and you find a feather in it. Fine. It does. There's no way to get it wrong. Okay?
因此，游戏规则如下。你和你的伴侣将互相交换礼物。一个人开始，另一个人跟着。第一个人会给第二个人一份礼物。第二个人打开礼物盒，无论盒子有多大，如果里面只有一分钱，也无所谓。如果盒子很重，但里面只有一根羽毛，也没关系。不会有错误的情况发生。明白了吗？
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Whatever's in the box is in the box. You can return it and get what you wanted later. Okay? The person, then you will name it. You will say, thank you for the whatever you saw in the box. The person who gave it to you will say, I'm so glad you're excited. I got it for you because. And you will give a reason that you got them whatever they decided you gave them. Make sense?
无论盒子里面是什么，都已经在盒子里了。你可以将其退回并在以后得到你想要的东西。好吗？然后你会给它一个名字。你会说，谢谢你，谢谢你送给我的东西。送给你的人会说，我很高兴你感到兴奋。我为你买它，因为...你会给出一个你认为送给他们任何东西的理由。有道理吗？
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All right. So very quickly just in five seconds, find a partner if you're willing to do this with a partner. Everybody have a partner? Okay. All right. In your partnerships, in your partnerships, pick an A person and a B person. You may stand or sit. It's totally up to you. Pick an A and pick a B. B goes first. Ha ha ha.
好的，那么很快地，在五秒钟内，如果你愿意与伙伴一起完成这个任务，请找到一个伙伴。大家都找到伙伴了吗？好的，很好。在你们的伙伴关系中，选择一个A人和一个B人。你们可以站着或坐着，这完全取决于你们。选择一个A和一个B，B先开始。哈哈哈。
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All right. B gives A a gift. A, thank them. And then B will name and give the reason they gave it to them. If you have not switched, switch please. If you have not switched, switch please. Let's wrap it up in 30 seconds please. Let's wrap it up. All right. If we can all have our seats.
好的，B给A一份礼物。A谢谢他们。然后B会说出他们为什么送这个礼物，并告诉它的名字。如果你还没有交换，请交换。让我们在30秒内结束。好的，如果大家都能坐下来就好了。
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If we can all take our seats please. I know I'm telling a room of many MBA alums to stop talking and that's hard. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, did you get what you wanted?
请大家们就座。我知道让一群MBA的校友安静下来不容易。好的，女士们先生们，你们都满意了吗？
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Pretty neat. Hi. You always get what you want. Now for some of you this was really hard because you were really taking the challenge and not seeing what was in the box until you looked in there. Was anybody surprised by what you found in the box? What did you find, sir? What was in the box? Wow. Nice. Nice. If you've got a Ferrari, you need a transmission. I like it.
很不错。嗨。你总是得到你想要的。对于你们中的一些人来说，这真的很困难，因为你们真正接受了挑战，直到你们看到盒子里的东西才知道里面有什么。有人对盒子里的东西感到惊讶吗？先生，你找到了什么？盒子里是什么？哇，不错。不错。如果你有一辆法拉利，你需要一个变速箱。我喜欢它。
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Who else found something that was surprising? What did you find? A live unicorn.
还有谁发现了令人惊讶的事情吗？你发现了什么？一只活着的独角兽。
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That's a great gift. How was it as the gift giver? Were you surprised at what your partner found in the box?
那是一个很棒的礼物。作为礼物赠送者，你感觉怎么样？你对你的伴侣在盒子里找到的东西感到惊讶吗？
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Isn't it interesting that when we give an imaginary gift knowing that the person's going to name it, we already have in mind what they're going to find? When they say live unicorn, we go, well, that's interesting, right?
有趣的是，当我们赠送一份虚拟礼物时，我们已经预想了受礼者会得到什么。比如他们说要一匹活着的独角兽，我们会想：这真的很有意思。
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The point of this game is to one, remind ourselves. we have to get out of our own way like we talked about before. But to see this as an opportunity and to have fun, I love watching people play this game.
这个游戏的重点是要提醒我们：我们必须像之前谈到的那样，走出自己的路。但是要将其视为一个机会，并且享受游戏的过程。我喜欢观察人们玩这个游戏的样子。
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The number of smiles that I saw amongst you. I have to admit, when I first started, some of you looked at little dour, a little doubting. But in that last game, you were all smiling and looked like you were having fun.
第五段： 我看到你们笑的次数。我不得不承认，一开始有些人看起来有些板着脸，有些怀疑。但在最后一场比赛中，你们都笑了起来，看起来很开心。
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So when you reframe the spontaneous speaking opportunity as an opportunity, as something that you can co-create and share, all of a sudden you are less nervous, less defensive, and you can accomplish something pretty darn good. In this case, a fun outcome.
当你把即兴演讲机会重新设定为一种机会，一种可以共同创造和分享的东西时，你会突然间变得不那么紧张、不那么防御，你可以完成某些非常棒的事情。在这种情况下，就能获得一种有趣的结果。
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This reminds us of perhaps the most famous of all improvisation saying, yes, and. A lot of us live our communication lives saying no but. Yes, and opens up a tremendous amount of opportunities.
这让我们想起了也许最著名的即兴表演格言：“是的，而且。” 很多人在日常交流中总是说“不，但是”。而“是的，而且”会打开大量的机会。
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And this doesn't mean you have to say yes, and to a question somebody asks, this just means the approach you take to the situation. So you're going to ask me questions, that's an opportunity. Yes, and I will follow through versus no in being defensive.
这并不意味着你必须对别人问的问题说“是”，而是指你对待这种情况的方式。因此，当别人问你问题时，这是一个机会。你可以用“是”回答，并且会付诸行动，而不是用“否”来进行防御。
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So we've accomplished the first two steps of our process. First we get out of our own way and septgen we reframe the situation as an opportunity.
因此，我们完成了我们的流程的前两个步骤。首先，我们要让自己不阻碍，然后我们要将情况重新定位为机会。
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The next phase is also hard, but very rewarding, and that is to slow down and listen. You need to understand the demands of the requirement you find yourself in in order to respond appropriately.
下一个阶段也很艰难，但非常有价值，那就是放慢速度并聆听。你需要了解所处环境的需求，才能做出适当的回应。
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But often we jump ahead, we listen just enough to think we got it, and then we go ahead starting to think about what we're going to respond, and then we respond. We really need to listen because fundamentally as a communicator your job is to be in service of your audience.
然而，我们经常会跳跃思考，仅仅听了一点点就认为自己已经懂了，然后我们开始考虑如何回应，最后进行回应。我们真正需要做的是认真倾听，因为作为一个沟通者，你的职责是服务于你的受众。
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And if you don't understand what your audience is asking or needs, you can't fulfill that obligation. So we need to slow down and listen. I have a fun game to play.
如果你不了解你的受众在问什么或需要什么，你就不能履行这项义务。因此，我们需要放慢速度，仔细听取。我还有一个有趣的游戏可以玩。
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In this game you are going to SPLL, EVERYTHINGYOUSAY.TOYOUR, P-A-R-T-N-E-R. I will translate.
在这个游戏中，你将要拼写 EVERYTHINGYOUSAY.TOYOUR.P-A-R-T-N-E-R 给你的伙伴。我会帮你翻译。
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You are going to get with the same partner you just worked with, and you are going to have a very brief conversation about something fun that you plan to do today.
你将和之前合作的同伴一起进行简短的谈话，谈论你今天计划做的有趣的事情。
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You are going to tell your partner what you are going to do that will be fun today, but you are going to do so by SPLLINGYT. So you're going to SPLLIT.
你将会告诉你的伴侣，今天你要做令人愉悦的事情，但你将通过SPLLINGYT的方式来告诉他/她。因此，你将要SPLLIT。
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It's okay if you are not a good speller. You'll see the benefit of doing this. So with the partner you just worked with, person A is going to go first this time. You are simply going to tell your partner what it is of fun, something of fun that you're going to do today.
即使你不是一个拼写得很好的人，没关系。你会看到这样做的好处。所以，与你刚刚合作过的伙伴一起，这次轮到A先开始了。你只需告诉你的伙伴，今天你打算做什么有趣的事情。
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Do what you are really going to do for fun and not do things like F-E-E-D-T-H-E-C-A-T. You can use big words. 30 seconds each. Spell to your partner something fun that you're going to do today.
在做有趣的事情时不要去做像是喂猫这样的琐事。可以用大词汇。每三十秒，向你的伙伴拼写出你今天打算做的有趣事情。
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Would you like to play? Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. If you have not switched, switch. Take 30 more seconds with the new partner spelling. GRET exclamation point. GRET exclamation point.
你想玩吗？请开始吧。请开始吧。请开始吧。如果你还没有换伙伴，请换一下。和新伙伴一起拼写30秒钟。好厉害！好棒啊！
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So what did we learn? Besides that we're not so good at spelling. You have to pause between the words. How did this change your interaction with the person you were interacting with? What did you have to do? Focus and listen.
那么我们学到了什么？除了我们不擅长拼写。你必须在单词之间停顿。这如何改变你与对方的互动？你必须做什么？集中注意力并听取他人讲话。
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You can't be thinking ahead. You have to be in the moment. When you listen and truly understand what the person is trying to say, then you can respond in a better way. We often don't listen.
你不能思考未来，必须要当下思考。当你倾听并真正理解对方所要表达的意思时，你才能更好地回应。我们经常没有好好倾听。
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So we start by getting out of our own way. We then reframe the situation as an opportunity. Those are things we do inside our head. But in the moment of interacting we have to listen first before we can respond to the spontaneous request.
因此，我们首先要摆脱自己的束缚。我们然后将局势重新打造为一个机遇。那些都是我们内心所做的事情。但在互动的那一刻，我们必须先听取对方的意见，然后才能对其 spontaenous 请求做出回应。
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Perhaps my most favorite maxim comes from this activity. Don't just do something. Stand there. Listen, listen, and then respond. Now how do we respond?
也许我最喜欢的格言来自于这项活动。不要仅仅做些事情。站在那里，听，听，然后再做出反应。那么，我们该如何做出反应呢？
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That brings us to the fourth part of our process. And that is we have to tell a story. We respond in a way that has a structure. All stories have structure. We have to respond in a structured way.
这就带我们来到了我们工作流程的第四个部分。那就是，我们需要讲故事。我们的回应要有结构。所有的故事都有结构。我们必须以一种有结构的方式进行回应。
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The key to successful spontaneous speaking and by the way, plan speaking is having a structure. I would like to introduce you to two of the most prevalent and popular and useful structures you can use to communicate a message in a spontaneous situation.
成功的即兴演讲和计划演讲的关键在于有一个结构。我想向你介绍两个最常用且实用的结构，它们可以在即兴的情况下传达一个信息。
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But before we get there, we have to talk about the value of structure. It increases what is called processing fluency, the effectiveness of which or through which we process information. We actually process structured information roughly. 40% more effectively and efficiently than information that's not structured.
但在那之前，我们必须谈论结构的价值。它增加了所谓的处理流畅度，也就是我们处理信息的效力和方式。我们实际上比未结构化的信息更高效地处理结构化的信息，效率提高了约40%。
I love looking out in this audience because you will remember as I remember phone numbers when you had to remember them if you wanted to call somebody. Okay, young folks today don't need to remember phone numbers. They just need to look at a picture, push a button, and then the voice starts talking on the other end. 10 digit phone numbers. It's actually hard to remember 10 digit phone numbers. How did you do it? You chunked it into a structure. Three, three, and four structure helps us remember.
我喜欢看这个观众，因为你们就像我曾经记住电话号码的方式一样。如果你想打电话给某人，你得记住他们的电话号码。现在的年轻人不需要记住电话号码了，他们只需要看着图片，按下按钮，然后电话那头就会开始说话了。10位电话号码，其实很难记住。你是怎么做到的呢？你会将它们分成一个结构块。3个数字，3个数字，4个数字的结构块有助于我们记忆。
The same is true when speaking spontaneously or in a planned situation. So let me introduce you to two useful structures. The first useful structure you have probably heard or used in some incarnation. It is the problem solution benefit structure. You start by talking about what the issue is, the problem. You then talk about a way of solving it and then you talk about the benefits of following through on it. Very persuasive, very effective. Helps you as the speaker remember it helps your audience know where you're going with it.
不管是在即兴发言还是在计划的情况下，同样适用。因此，让我介绍两个有用的结构。第一个有用的结构，你可能听过或使用过某种变体，它就是问题解决益处结构。你开始谈论问题所在，即问题。然后您谈论解决问题的方法，然后讲述遵循该方法的好处。非常有说服力、非常有效。有助于您作为演讲者记住，也有助于您的观众了解您的所思所想。
When I was a tour guide on this campus many, many, many years ago. What do you think the single most important thing they drilled into our head? It took a full quarter by the way to train to be a tour guide here. They used to line us up at one end of the quad and have us walk backwards straight. And if you failed you had to start over. To this day I can walk backwards in a straight line because of that. As part of that training what do you think the most important thing they taught us was? Never lose your tour group. I'm not sure, never lose your tour group. The same is true as a presenter. Never lose your audience. The way you keep your audience on track is by providing structure.
很多年前，我在这个校园里当导游。你认为他们最重视的是什么？顺便说一下，成为导游需要接受整整一个学期的培训。他们会让我们排队站在操场的一头，视线要向后，一直走直线。如果失败了就要重新来过。至今，我仍然能够因为这个训练而直线倒退行走。在培训中，他们教给我们最重要的是什么呢？那就是永远不要让你的旅游团迷路。我不确定，可能是永远不要让你的旅游团迷路。同样的道理，作为一个演讲者，永远不要失去你的听众。你的听众保持专注的方法是提供结构。
None of you would go on a tour with me if I said hi, my name is Matt. Let's go. You want to know where you're going, why you're going there, how long it's going to take. You need to set expectations and structure does that. Problems solution benefit is a wonderful structure to have in your back pocket. It's something that you can use quickly when you're in the moment. It can be reframed so it's not always a problem you're talking about. Maybe it's an opportunity. Maybe there's a market opportunity you want to go out and capture. It's not a problem that we're not doing it but maybe we'd be better off if we did. So it becomes opportunity solution which are the steps to achieve it.
如果我说：“大家好，我叫马特，一起去旅游吧”，你们中没有一个会跟我去。你们想知道目的地在哪里，为什么要去，需要多长时间。你需要设定期望值和架构。问题解决方案的好处就在于它是一种架构，方便你随时使用。它可以重新定义问题，让人们认为这是一个机会。也许有一个市场机会，你想要去抓住它。这并不是我们没有去做的问题，而是如果我们做了也许会更好。所以，问题解决方案实际上是实现机会的步骤。
Another structure which works equally well is the what so what now what structure. You start by talking about what it is. Then you talk about why it's important and then what the next steps are. This is a wonderful formula for answering questions for introducing people. So if I'm in the moment somebody asked me to introduce somebody I changed the what to who I say who they are why they're important and what we're going to do next maybe listen to them maybe drink or wine whatever.
另一种同样有效的结构是“是什么-为什么重要-现在怎么办”结构。您可以先谈论是什么，然后谈论为什么它很重要，最后讨论下一步该怎么做。这是回答问题和介绍人物的绝妙公式。如果有人让我介绍一个人，我会把“是什么”变为“是谁”，然后说说他们是谁、他们的重要性以及下一步我们要做什么，可能是听他们说话，也可能是喝点葡萄酒什么的。
What so what now what the reality is this when you are in a spontaneous speaking situation you have to do two things simultaneously. You have to figure out what to say and how to say it. These structures help you by telling you how to say it. If you can become comfortable with these structures you can be in a situation where you can respond very able to spontaneous speaking situations.
所以现在的实际情况是，在即兴演讲的情况下，你需要同时做两件事情。你要想出要说什么，以及如何说。这些结构可以帮助你告诉你应该如何说。如果你能熟悉这些结构，你就能在任何即兴演讲的情况下表现得非常自如。
We're going to practice because that's what we do. Here's the situation is everybody familiar with this child's toy it's a slinky. You are going to sell this slinky to your partner using either problem solution benefit or opportunity solution benefit what does this slinky provide you. Or you could use what so what now what what is it why is it important and the next steps might be to buy it. So by using that structure see how already it helps you it helps you focus get with your partner and we're only going to have one partner sell to the other partner. So get with your partner one of you will volunteer to sell to the other. Sell us linky using problem solution benefit or what so what now what please begin.
我们要练习，因为这是我们做的事情。现在我们的情境是，是大家都熟悉的儿童玩具之一——弹簧玩具Slinky。你要用“问题解决—获益”或“机会获益”的方式向你的伙伴销售Slinky，告诉他它能为你提供什么好处。或者你可以使用“它是什么—那么它为什么重要—接下来怎么做”的结构，告诉伙伴它是什么，为什么它重要，下一步是买它。通过使用这种结构，看看它是否帮助你更好地聚焦，和伙伴配合。我们只会安排一个伙伴卖给另一个伙伴，所以和你的伙伴配对，一个人卖给另一个。请开始。
So when I debrief this you can go ahead and pass them out. Does that make sense after this activity. So 30 more seconds please. Excellent let's all close the deal seal the deal. I have never seen more people in one place doing this at the same time. I love it I teach people to gesture and gesture big it's great I love it. So if you were the recipient of the sales pitch thumbs up did they do a good job. I'm recruiting you all for my next business is my sales people.
所以当我反馈完后，你可以开始分发它们。这个活动结束后，这样的做法有意义吗？请再等30秒。太棒了，我们都成功地完成了。我从未见过这么多人在同一时间做同样的动作。我喜欢这样，我教人们如何自然而然地运用手势，手势动作要大，很棒。如果你是这个销售演示的受众，他们做得好吗？我招募你们成为我的下一个业务销售人员。
Please try to ignore this but as we're speaking the handout I told you about is coming around on the back of that handout you are going to see a list of structures the two we talked about in several others that can help you in spontaneous speaking situations. These structures help because they help you understand how you're going to say what you say structure sets you free and I know that's kind of ironic but it's true if you have that structure then you're free to think about what it is you're going to say. It reduces the cognitive load of figuring out what you're saying and how you're going to say it all of this is on that handout.
请不要在意这个，但是我们正在谈论的手册已经传递过来了，在那个手册的背面，你会看到一个结构列表，其中包括我们讨论过的两种结构以及其他几种可以帮助你在即兴演讲中的结构。这些结构有助于你，因为它们帮助你理解你将如何说话，结构释放了你，并且我知道这有点讽刺，但这是真的，如果你有了那个结构，那么你就可以考虑你将要说什么了。它减少了你理解你所说的话以及如何表达的认知负荷，所有这些都在那个手册里。
So what does this all mean it means that we have within our ability the tools and the approaches to help us in spontaneous speaking situations the very first thing we have to do is manage our anxiety because you can't be an effective speaker if you don't have your anxiety under control. And we talked about how you can do that by greeting your anxiety reframing is a conversation and being in the present moment. Once you do that you can need to practice a series of four steps that will help you speak spontaneously first you get out of your own way.
那么这意味着什么呢？意味着我们在应对自发演讲的情况时，拥有工具和方法来帮助我们。首先，我们必须管理自己的焦虑，因为如果你不能控制自己的焦虑，就不可能成为一位有效的演讲者。我们已经讲到了如何通过迎接焦虑、改变思考方式和保持当下的状态来控制焦虑。接下来，你需要实践一系列四个步骤来帮助你自发演讲。首先，你需要摆脱自我束缚。
I would love it if all of you on your way from here to the football game point at things and call them the wrong name. It would be fun if most of us do it then it won't be weird if only one and two of us do it will be weird. Second give gifts by that I mean see your interactions as ones of opportunity not challenges. Third take the time to listen listen and then finally use structures and you have to practice these structures.
我希望你们在从这里去足球比赛的路上指着东西，叫错名字，这样会很有趣。如果我们大多数人都这么做，那就不会很奇怪；但如果只有一两个人这么做，那就很奇怪了。其次，把送礼品看成机会而非挑战。第三，花时间倾听，倾听，再倾听，并最终使用结构，并且必须练习这些结构。
I have two kids when they ask me questions I usually answer them and what so what now what they don't know it but when they go over to their friends houses and they see their friends ask their dad's questions they don't get what so what now what so you have to practice the more you practice the more comfortable you will become. Ultimately you have the opportunity before you to become more compelling more confident more connected as a speaker if you leverage these techniques. If you're interested in learning more this is where I do a little plug.
我有两个孩子，当他们问我问题时，我通常会回答他们，可是他们不知道为什么现在就不知道了，当他们去朋友家看到朋友问他们父亲的问题时，他们不知道所以发生了什么，你必须练习，你练习得越多，你就会变得越自信、更有魅力、更有联系。如果你利用这些技巧，你就有机会成为一个更有说服力、更自信、更有联系的演讲者。如果你有兴趣了解更多，这里就是我进行一些宣传的地方。
I've written a book many of the MBA students who take the strategic communication classes here that I and others teach read it's called speaking up without freaking out. More importantly there's a website here that I curate called no freaking speaking and it has lots of information that I've written and others have written about how to become more effective at speaking so that's that's the end of my plug. What I'd really like to do is enter into a spontaneous speaking situation with you and I would love to entertain any questions that you have there are two people who are running around with microphones so some of us remember the Phil Donahue show we're going to do a little bit of that if you have a question the microphone will come and I'm happy to answer it.
我写了一本书，许多在这里上战略沟通课的MBA学生都会阅读，它叫做《不要紧张说话》。更重要的是，我在这里维护了一个网站叫做“无惧演讲”，里面有许多我和其他人所写的关于如何变得更有效地说话的信息。需要强调的是这是我的推销结束了。我真正想做的是和你进行一次自发演讲环境，并乐意回答你们的任何问题。会有两个人负责拿着麦克风，如果你有问题，可以使用麦克风，我很乐意回答。
I think if you're on yes a week in here you can talk about hostile situations hostile situations yes so when you find yourself in a chair yourself in a challenging situation first it should not be a surprise to you it should not be a surprise before you ever speak you should think about what is the environment going to be like so it shouldn't surprise you that there might be some challenges in the room.
我认为如果你在这里呆一个星期，你就可以讨论敌对的情况。当你自己处于一个具有挑战性的情境中时，首先，它不应该让你感到惊讶。在你说话之前，你应该考虑这个环境会是什么样子的，这样当房间中出现一些挑战时，你不会感到惊讶。
When there are hostile situations that arise you have to acknowledge it so if somebody says that's a ridiculous idea why did you come up with that to simply say so the idea I came up with was right acknowledge the emotion I recommend not naming the emotion right so you sound really angry person I'm not angry I'm frustrated now we're arguing over their mental state right emotional state so so I say something like I hear you have a lot of passion on this issue or I hear there's great concern from you so you acknowledge the emotion because otherwise it sits in the room and then reframe a respond the way that makes sense.
当出现敌对情况时，你必须承认它。如果有人说：“那是个荒谬的想法，你怎么想出来的？”你只需简单地回答：“我提出的想法是正确的。”同时，建议不要直接明确表达情绪，这样你会显得很生气。可以说，“我并不生气，我只是感到失望。”我们不应该争论他们的精神状态或情绪状态。因此，我们可以说类似“我听到你对这个问题非常有热情”，或“我听到你对这个问题非常关注”，这样可以承认情感，否则它会一直存在在房间里。之后，以适当的方式重新回应即可。
So if somebody raises their hand and says your product is ridiculously priced why do you charge so much I might say I hear great concern and what you're really asking about is the value of our product and I would give my value proposition and then I would come back and say and because of the value we provide we believe it's priced fairly so you answer the question about price but you reframe it in a way that you feel more comfortable answering it.
所以，如果有人举手说你们的产品价格过高，为什么要收那么多钱，我可能会说我听到您的担忧，并且您真正关心的是我们的产品价值，我会提出我们的价值主张，然后我会回答并且因为我们提供的价值，我们认为价格公平，所以您回答了有关价格的问题，但您重新构建了回答方式，让你更容易回答。
The way to do this is to practice all the skills we just talked about. The only skill that I'm adding to this is the awareness in advance that you might be in that situation. First, I have to truly listen to what I'm hearing right. It's very easy for me when I hear a challenging question to get all defensive and not hear what the person's asking. I see it as an opportunity to reframe and explain. Okay so again you have to practice but that's how I think you address it.
做到这一点的方法是练习我们刚才谈到的所有技能。我要添加的唯一技能是预先意识到你可能会处于那种情况。首先，我必须真正聆听我所听到的内容。当我听到具有挑战性的问题时，很容易让自己防御，听不清对方所问的问题。我把它看作重新定位和解释的机会。所以你必须练习，但这就是我认为你应该处理它的方式。
Other questions, I see a question back here, yes please. That's first of all thank you very much. great great presentation. Thank you for a lot of the speaking I do, I have remote audiences, what it's distributed all over the country with telecom and tips for those kinds of audiences. So when you are speaking in a situation where not everybody is co-located, okay in fact right at this very moment there are people watching this presentation remotely.
还有其他问题，我看到这里有一个问题，请问。首先非常感谢你们的演示，非常好。非常感谢你们发言，我是一个经常面对分布在全国的遥远听众的人，对于这样的听众，您有什么提示吗？因此，当你在一个不是所有人都在同一地点的情况下发言时，实际上，此刻有人正在远程观看这个演示。
What you need to do is be mindful of it. Second, try to include engagement techniques where the audience actually has to do something so physical participation is what we did here through the games, you can ask your audience to imagine something, imagine what it would be like if when we try to achieve a goal rather than say here's the goal we're trying to achieve say imagine what it would be like if. See what that does to it pulls you in. I can take polling questions most of the technology that you're referring to has some kind of polling feature you can open up some kind of wiki or Google Doc or some collaborative tool where people can be doing things and you can be monitoring that while you're presenting so I might take some breaks. I talk for 10-15 minutes and say, okay let's apply this and let's go into this Google Doc I've created and I see what people are doing.
你需要做的是注意这一点。其次，尝试包含参与技巧，让观众实际参与，所以我们通过游戏来实现了身体的参与感。你可以让观众想象某些事情，比如假设我们尝试实现一个目标，而不是说我们正在尝试实现目标，让他们想象一下会是什么感觉。看看这样做会有什么效果，会让你更投入。我可以采用投票提问的方式，你提到的大部分技术都有投票功能，你可以打开一些维基或Google文档或其他协作工具，在演示的同时监控人们在做什么。我可能需要休息一下，讲10-15分钟后，说：“好的，让我们把这个应用起来，去使用我创建的Google文档，看看人们在做什么。”
So it's about variety and it's about engagement those are the ways that you really connect to people who are remote from you. Your point of, I've got to look for where the mic is, yes, this may be similar to the first question but I do a lot of expert witness testimony what's your recommendation for handling cross-examination specifically.
这里讲的是多样性和参与度，这是你真正与远离你的人联系起来的方式。你提到了找话筒的问题，这可能与第一个问题相似，但我做了很多专家证人证言，你有什么具体的建议来应对交叉询问？
In any speaking situation that you go into that has some planned element to it, I recommend identifying certain themes that you think are important or believe need to come out and then with each one of those themes have some examples and concrete evidence that you can use to support it. You don't go in with memorized terms or ways of saying it, you just have ideas and themes and then you put them together as necessary.
在任何有计划元素的演讲场合中，我建议您识别一些您认为重要或认为需要提出的主题，然后对于每个主题准备一些例子和具体证据来支持它。您不需要事先记忆术语或说法，只需有想法和主题，然后根据需要将其组合起来。
So when I'm in a situation where people are interrogating me I have certain themes that I want to get across and make sure that I can do that in a way that fits the needs in the moment if it's hostile. Again you, the single best tool you have to buy yourself time and to help you answer a question efficiently is paraphrasing. The paraphrase is like the Swiss army knife of communication, if you remember the show McGiver it's your McGiver tool.
当我处于被询问的情境中时，我会有特定的主题想要传达，并确保以符合当下需求的方式表达出来，即使情境很敌对。再次强调，用来买时间和帮你高效回答问题的最佳工具就是换句话说。换句话说就像沟通的瑞士军刀，如果你还记得《麦基弗》这部电视剧，那它就是你的麦基弗工具。
Right so when a question comes in the way you paraphrase it allows you the opportunity to reframe it to think about your answer and to pause and make sure you got it right, so when you're under those situations if you have the opportunity to paraphrase, so what you're really asking about is x y and z, that gives you the opportunity to employ one of these techniques. Now I've never been an expert witness because I'm not an expert on anything but those tools I believe could be helpful.
当有问题出现时，将其改述可以让你有机会重新构思你的答案，停顿一下，确保你理解正确。因此，当你处于这种情况下，如果有机会改述问题，那么你实际上所要询问的是X、Y和Z，这就提供了一个使用这些技巧的机会。虽然我从未作过专家证人，因为我对任何事情都不是专家，但我相信这些工具可能会有所帮助。
The microphone is back there, thank you, thank you so much. This has been so helpful and enjoyable this morning, thank you. Would you please show the last screen so we can get down the name of the book that you written and the information, absolutely. Thank you, I think they actually there you might even have an opportunity to know what's on the sheet, to everything I said is on the back of that sheet but I'm happy to have this behind me while I while I talk.
麦克风在那边，请谢谢，非常感谢。今天早上非常有帮助和愉快，谢谢。您能否显示最后一个屏幕，这样我们可以记下您所写的书名和信息，当然可以。谢谢，我认为在那里您甚至可能有机会知道这张纸上有什么，我说的一切都在那张纸的背面，但在我讲话时，我很高兴有这个东西在我身后。
Other questions, yes please, yes. I work with groups that from that represent many different cultural backgrounds, yes. So are there any caveats or is this a universal strategy? In terms of from your perspective as the speaker I believe this applies, but whenever you communicate part of the listening aspect is also thinking about is who is my audience and what are their expectations, so what are the cultural expectations of the audience that I'm presenting to.
其他问题，好的，请问。我与许多不同文化背景的团体一起工作，是这样的。那么，有没有任何注意事项或者这是一项通用的策略吗？从您作为演讲者的角度来看，我认为这适用，但是无论何时进行沟通，听取方面也要考虑我的受众是谁，以及他们的期望是什么，所以我正在向哪个文化期望的观众作演示。
So there might be certain norms and rules that are expected so when I travel and do talks I have to take into account where I'm doing the presentation so I'm I'm help present in the ignite program and if you have not heard about the ignite program and here at the GSB it's fantastic and I just did a presentation standing in one of these awesome classrooms that have all these cameras and I just taught 35 people in Santiago chili right and I needed to understand the cultural expectations of that area and what they expect and what they're willing to do. when I ask them to participate so it's part of that step where you reflect on what are the expectations of the audience
在我旅行和演讲时，可能会存在一些期望的规范和规则，因此我必须考虑我的演讲地点，例如我正在帮助演讲“ignite”项目。如果你还没有听说过“ignite”项目，那么在GSB，这是一个很棒的项目。我刚刚站在这些摄像机的课堂中向35个位于智利圣地亚哥的人进行了讲解，我需要了解当地的文化期望和他们的愿意参与程度。 因此这是反思步骤的一部分，你需要思考观众的期望是什么。
I think we have time for two more questions and then I'm going to hang around afterwards if anybody has individual questions but some of these folks really want me to keep on sketching
我认为我们还有时间再回答两个问题，之后如果有人有个人问题的话我会留下来回答，但是有些人真的希望我能继续画画。
Yes please I wanted to ask a question one of the things that you've done effectively in your talking and I've seen other effective speakers do is interject humor in their talk how what are the risks and rewards of trying to do that well first thank you and I appreciate all of you laughing those are that's the some total of all my jokes you've heard them I am not funny beyond those jokes so humor is wonderfully connecting it's wonderfully connecting it's a great tool for connection it is very very risky cultural reasons get in the way sometimes what you think is funny isn't funny to other people what research tells us is that if you're going to try to be funny self-deprecating humor is your best bet okay because it is the least risky there is nothing worse than putting out a joke and having no response it actually sets you back farther than if you would have gotten where you would have gotten if the joke would have hit so basic fundamentals you need to think about with humor one is it funny how do I know I ask other people first second what happens if it doesn't work have a backup plan right and then third if you're worried about the answers to those first two don't do it right
请允许我问一个问题，你在演讲中做得很出色的一件事情我也看到其他有效的演讲者这样做，就是插入幽默感。这样做的风险和奖励是什么？首先谢谢你，我感激你们所有人的笑声，这些都是我所有笑话的总和，你们已经听过了。除了这些笑话之外，我并不擅长幽默。幽默非常具有连接性，是连接的好工具，但有时由于文化原因，你认为有趣的东西别人可能并不认为有趣。研究告诉我们，如果你想尝试幽默，自谦的幽默是最好的选择，因为风险最小。毫无反应比得不到反响更糟糕，它实际上会使你的进展更慢。基本的原则是，你需要考虑幽默是否有趣，我建议你询问他人的意见。第二，如果不起作用，你需要有备用计划。第三，如果你担心前两个问题的答案，不要尝试幽默。
one last question please the microphone is right here and then like I said I will hang around afterwards yes please I am sort of on the opposite side of this since I am a journalist and I frequently have to ask spontaneous questions of people who have been through media training yes so so any tips for chinks in the armor way to ask ask a question without being antagonistic but get a little bit more of a good answer so let me give you two answers one is I have young boys and the power of the why is great just ask why a couple times and you can get through that first two layers of training you know why do you say that how do you feel about that the second bit is to what I have found successful in getting people to I do this to get people to answer in a more authentic way what I'll do is I'll ask them to give advice so what advice would you give somebody who's challenged with this or what advice would you give to somebody in this situation and by asking for the advice it changes the relationship they have to me as the question asker and I often get much more rich detailed information so the power of the why and then put them in a position of providing guidance and that can really work with that
请问还有最后一个问题，麦克风在这里。就像我说的，我会留下来的。我是一个记者，经常需要向经过媒体培训的人提出突发问题，所以你有什么建议可以问一些关键的问题而不会引起敌意，但可以得到更好的回答？我可以给你两个答案。第一，我有年幼的儿子，所以“为什么”的力量很大，只要问几次“为什么”，你可以通过第一二层的培训。你可以问：“你为什么这么说？你对此有什么感觉？”第二个建议是，我发现让人们更真实地回答问题的方法是要求他们提供建议。你会问：“如果有人面临这种挑战，你会给他什么建议？或者，有什么建议可以给在这种情况下的人？”通过询问建议，这改变了他们作为问题提问者与我的关系，我经常得到更丰富详细的信息。所以挖掘“为什么”的力量，并让他们提供指导，这可以真正地发挥作用。
I am going to thank you very much I welcome you to ask questions later and enjoy the rest of your reunion weekend thank you
我想非常感谢你们，欢迎你们随后提问并享受其余的聚会周末，谢谢。