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Oz Pearlman (Mentalist): This Small Mistake Makes People Dislike You! They Do This, They’re Lying!

发布时间 2025-10-23 07:00:03    来源
O's Perlman，一位离开华尔街的读心术师，分享了他关于识人、建立信任和取得成功的见解，并强调他*实际上*并不能真正读取人的思想。他认为，观察细微的差别，比如一个人接近你的方式（直接的眼神接触与略微倾斜的角度），可以揭示他们的感受。他强调，在与人初次见面时就知道对方的想法，可以提供重要的战术优势，无论是在要求加薪还是约会时。 Perlman描述了一个实验，他引导主持人从一副假想的扑克牌中选出特定的一张，以此说明暗示和障眼法如何创造出读心术的幻觉。他澄清说，这并非魔法，而是一种经过提炼的观察和影响技巧。他认为，从读心术中获得的技能可以转化为生活中各个方面的成功。 他解释说，成功的核心障碍是对被拒绝的恐惧。他分享了自己年轻时，为了获得魔术表演机会而拜访餐厅经理的故事，学会了观察他们的反应并调整自己的方法。他解释了创造“积极的好奇心缺口”的力量，通过激发兴趣和期待来吸引注意力。他提供了一个例子，走到餐厅的一张桌子前并宣布“今天是你们的幸运日”，这是一种能引发多巴胺的陈述，可以绕过立即的拒绝。 他说，掌握识人技巧的关键在于了解他们的“基准”，观察他们在说真话和说谎时的行为。注意他们包含的细节、语调以及任何不一致之处。相信你的直觉，并通过观察和经验进行磨练。 在销售或演示时，Perlman强调要优先考虑听众的需求，而不是你自己的成就。专注于你提供的益处，解决他们的顾虑，并预测他们的反对意见。他提倡充分的准备，记录下潜在的反驳意见，并定制演示文稿以满足特定需求。 他强调了做笔记的重要性，记录下你遇到的人的细节，并在以后检索这些信息以创造令人难忘的个性化体验。记住小细节（孩子的名字，喜欢的颜色）能表现出真诚的关心，并留下持久的印象。 Perlman讨论了小事悖论，说明了看似微不足道的细节如何产生深远的影响，因为它们经常被忽视。这适用于肢体语言、非语言提示以及你与人的互动方式，这些他们可能没有意识到。 他深入探讨了注意力管理，认为这是一种引导他人做出特定选择的工具。他提供了一个轶事，让主持人选择一个他们认识的人，然后引导他们到可以通过观察他们的眼睛来猜测名字的地步。 Perlman强调了建立自信的必要性，建议听众勇敢面对恐惧并挑战他们的拖延症。当面临一项艰巨的任务时，他建议快速想象到任务完成后的第二天你会有什么感觉，并利用那种未来的轻松感来立即采取行动。他指出听众的反应至关重要，听众永远不会说谎。根据听众的反应来改变你的方法。 对话以使用“听、重复、回复”方法来提高记忆力的重要性结束。真正倾听对方的讲话，重复他们的名字，并用一些对你个人有意义的东西回复。Perlman强调的所有技巧都是为了唤起一种会被记住的感觉。
O’s Perlman, a mentalist who walked away from Wall Street, shares his insights on reading people, building trust, and achieving success, emphasizing that he can't *actually* read minds. He argues that observing subtle nuances, like how someone approaches you (direct eye contact versus a slight angle), can reveal their feelings. He emphasizes knowing what someone's thinking when they meet you provides a significant tactical advantage, whether in asking for a raise or a date. Perlman describes an experiment where he guided the host to select a specific card from an imaginary deck, illustrating how suggestion and misdirection can create the illusion of mind-reading. This isn't magic, he clarifies, but a refined skill of observation and influence. He offers the skills gleaned from mentalism translate to success in all aspects of life. He explains that a core obstacle to success is the fear of rejection. He shares a story from his youth, approaching restaurant managers for magic gigs, learning to observe their reactions and adjust his approach. He explains the power of creating a "positive curiosity gap," engaging attention by piquing interest and anticipation. He provides an example of walking up to a restaurant table and announcing "It's your lucky day," a dopamine-inducing statement that bypasses immediate rejection. He says mastering people reading hinges on understanding their "benchmarks," observing their behavior when they're truthful versus deceptive. Pay attention to the details they include, their cadence, and any inconsistencies. Trust your instincts, honed by observation and experience. When selling or presenting, Perlman stresses prioritizing the audience's needs over your own accomplishments. Focus on the benefits you offer, address their concerns and anticipate their objections. He advocates thorough preparation, documenting potential rebuttals and tailoring the presentation to address specific needs. He underscores the importance of taking notes, capturing details about people you meet, and retrieving that information later to create memorable, personalized experiences. Remembering small details (a child’s name, a favorite color) demonstrates genuine care and creates a lasting impression. Perlman discusses the paradox of small things, illustrating how seemingly insignificant details have a profound impact because they're often overlooked. This applies to body language, non-verbal cues, how you engage with people, that they may not realize. He dives deeper into attention management, arguing that it is a tool to guide someone into making a certain choice. He provides an anecdote of having the host choose a person they knew and then guiding them to the point where he could take a guess at the name by watching their eyes. Perlman emphasizes the need to build confidence, advising listeners to confront their fears and challenge their procrastination. When faced with a daunting task, he advises fast-forwarding to how you will feel the day after, once it's done, and using that future feeling of relief to take action now. He notes how the audience's reactions are crucial and that the audience never lies. Change your approach based on them. The conversation concludes with the importance of improving memory using the "Listen, Repeat, Reply" method. Really listen to the person, repeat their name, and reply with something personal to you. All of the techniques that Perlman emphasizes are to invoke a feeling that will be remembered.

摘要

Oz Pearlman, the World No.1 magician, exposes how to read people, build trust, and win attention. From Wall Street to the world ...

GPT-4正在为你翻译摘要中......

中英文字稿  

I've spent three decades reverse-engineering the human mind to show you how you can use it, to know what somebody's thinking when they meet you, or if somebody was telling you the truth or lying. So let's do something funny. Imagine that in front of you was an invisible deck of cards. Spread them out in front of you. And now when you reach down and imagine you just grab a card at random. Now look at it, look at me. Okay, close your eyes, hold your hand out please. Now before you open your eyes, tell us what was that card? Three of diamonds. Open your eyes, take a look. And it's not magic; I can't teach you this. And these secrets, these habits, they're applicable all throughout life. Trust me, you don't want to miss the rest of this.
我花了三十年时间研究和分析人类的思维，以展示如何利用这些知识来了解别人见到你时在想什么，或者判断别人是否在说实话或撒谎。让我们做点有趣的事情。想象在你面前有一副看不见的纸牌，把它们摊开。现在，假装从中随意抽出一张牌。看看那张牌，然后看看我。好，闭上你的眼睛，请伸出你的手。在你睁开眼睛之前，告诉我们这张牌是什么？方块三。睁开眼睛看看。这不是魔术，我不能教你这一点。这些秘密和习惯在生活中处处适用。相信我，你不想错过后面的内容。

O's Perlman walked away from Wall Street to become the world's leading mentalist, unlocking the skills we need to read people, win trust, spot a liar, and influence anyone. My whole job is to make you believe that I can read minds, but here is the honest truth. That's impossible, but I read people through small, minute details. For example, we're hardwired from thousands of years that if I approach you directly in the two eyes, it can create fear versus if I turn ever so slightly and approach you with one eye, that one eye is less danger. So it's all about the smallest little nuances.
O's Perlman离开华尔街，成为了世界顶尖的心理学大师，掌握了我们需要的技能来读懂他人、赢得信任、识破谎言以及影响任何人。我的工作就是让你相信我能读心，但说实话，那是不可能的。我是通过观察细微的小细节来解读人的。例如，经过数千年的进化，我们被设定为当我直接两眼盯着你时，可能会引起恐惧，但如果我稍微侧身，用一只眼看你，那么这只眼睛带来的威胁感会小得多。所以关键在于那些细微的差别。

Like think of someone, think of their first name. I got it. Five letters, isn't it? Tell us all what is their first name. Jules. So this is a huge tactical advantage when you ask your boss for a raise or when you ask someone out on a date and I'll explain what to do, as well as how you form habits, eliminating that fear of rejection, and also a fast track for confidence. But the next thing is how to improve your memory, which is a huge secret to success, and I have a tip. I've repurposed the instructions on a shampoo bottle, and the first step is what 95% is too wrong.
考虑一个人，想想他们的名字。我知道了，是五个字母的名字，对吧？告诉大家，他们的名字是什么。Jules。这种技巧在你向老板要求加薪或约会时有极大的优势。我会解释如何运用这个技巧，以及如何养成习惯，消除对拒绝的恐惧，并快速建立自信。接下来是如何提升记忆力，这是成功的一个重要秘密，我有一个小建议。我重新利用了洗发水瓶上的说明书，其中第一步是95%的人都做错的地方。

So I see messages all the time in the comments section that some of you didn't realize you didn't subscribe. So if you could do me a favor and double-check if you're a subscriber to this channel, that would be tremendously appreciated. It's the simple, it's the free thing that anybody that watches this show frequently can do to help us here to keep everything going in this show in the trajectory. So please do double-check if you subscribed, and thank you so much, because there's a strange way you are, you're part of our history, and you're on this journey with us, and I appreciate you for that. So yeah, thank you.
我常常在评论区看到，有些人没意识到自己还没有订阅。所以如果可以的话，请帮个忙，检查一下你是否已经订阅了这个频道。订阅既简单又免费，对于经常观看我们节目的观众来说，这么做对我们非常有帮助，这有助于让节目持续发展。所以请确认一下你是否已经订阅，非常感谢。因为以某种奇妙的方式，你已经成为我们历史的一部分，并与我们一同前行，我对此非常感激。再次感谢你们！

O's Perlman, you're a guy who can apparently read people's minds. In fact, the book you've just written is called Read Your Mind, Proven Habits for Success from the World's Greatest Mentalist. So for anyone that isn't familiar with your work and what you do, why did you name your book Read Your Mind? And can you read my mind? So therein lies the dilemma. My whole job is to make you believe that I can read minds, but here is the honest truth. I can't read minds. I wish I could read minds. That's impossible. I read people. Very different skill.
O's Perlman，你是一个显然能够读懂别人心思的人。事实上，你刚写的书名为《读懂你的心：来自世界顶级心理术师的成功习惯》。对于那些不熟悉你工作的人来说，为什么你把书名定为《读懂你的心》？你真的能读心术吗？ 这就是矛盾所在。我的整个工作就是让你相信我能读心，但老实说，我并不能读心。我希望我能读心，但这是不可能的。我读的是人，而这是一项完全不同的技能。

This is built on the world of magic, what I do. Misdirection, influence, suggestion, knowing how people think indicates to me what they think, right? I've spent three decades reverse engineering the human mind. I'm teaching you habits for success because the skills that I have at reading people effectively walking into a room taking charge, influencing them, all of the things surrounding the entertainment portion are things that apply to everyone. If you can use these secrets, these habits, they're going to lead you to success in your personal life, in your professional life, in your relationships, and that's what I've done.
这是建立在魔法世界基础上的，就是我所做的事情。误导、影响、暗示，了解人们的思维方式让我知道他们在想什么，对吧？我花了三十年的时间对人类思维进行逆向工程。我正在教你成功的习惯，因为我在有效解读他人、走进房间掌控场面、影响他人等方面的技能，不仅限于娱乐部分，这些都适用于每个人。如果你能使用这些秘密和习惯，它们会让你在个人生活、职业生涯、以及人际关系中取得成功，这就是我所做的。

I think that if I had done this same playbook and not been a mentalist, I'd be successful at any field. They're applicable all throughout life. You know, I'm pausing for one second, because someone listening to this right now, I'm always thinking about the person there watching us. And why should they be watching me right now? That's my question. Who cares about me? I don't know me. They don't know me. Why should they watch this?
我想，如果我采用同样的计划而不是去做一名心灵魔术师，我在任何领域都会成功。这些原则在生活中都是适用的。你知道吗，我要停顿一秒，因为现在正在听的人，我总是想着屏幕前的人。为什么他们应该现在看我？这是我的疑问。谁会关心我呢？我自己都不太了解我，他们也不认识我。为什么他们要看这个呢？

I've studied you. That's what I do for a living. And I have something for you. And on dragons, then I love when you make an offer. I love the visual of the moment where you can change someone's life, right? A founder, you evaluate their company, you make them an offer. So this is an offer, but it's not for now. You have to stick around till the end. If you open it now, it'll be meaningless. At the end of this podcast, you're going to open this piece of paper. And I think it's going to be something you will talk about for years to come.
我研究过你。这是我的职业。我为你准备了一些东西。关于龙，我喜欢的是你提出提议的时刻。我喜欢那个可以改变别人命运的画面，对吧？比如一个创始人，你评估他们的公司，然后给他们一个提议。所以这是一个提议，但不是现在。你要坚持到最后。如果你现在打开，它就没有意义。在这个播客的结尾，你会打开这张纸。我相信这是将来你会谈论多年的事情。

You know what? Put it somewhere, maybe right under your mug, where it never leaves our site. And we're going to come back to this later. I'm going to put it in. You know what this is? It's your future. This is my future. 100%. Don't open the air. You don't want to know your future yet. And why should they stick around and listen? Oh, because trust me, you don't want to miss the rest of this. Otherwise, you have to see the highlights. Put it somewhere we see it the whole time. Okay. So I'll put it here. Or under your mug or anywhere we never lose sight of it. Wonderful. Put my mug on top of it. For anyone that can't see, because there will be some people listening on audio, he's just passed me a white piece of folded up card. And I've put it underneath my mug. It's an awesome piece. Listen guys, we're not colluding.
你知道吗？把它放在某个地方，也许就在你的杯子下面，这样我们就能一直看到它。我们待会儿会再来谈这个。我把它放好。你知道这是什么吗？这是你的未来，也是我的未来，100%的未来。先不要打开，你还不想知道你的未来。为什么他们应该继续听下去呢？哦，相信我，你绝对不想错过接下来的内容，否则你只能看要点了。把它放在我们能一直看到的地方。好吧，我就放在这里，或者你的杯子下，或者任何我们不会忽视的地方。太好了，把我的杯子放在上面。对任何看不到的人来说，因为有些人只是在听音频，他刚递给我一张白色折叠的卡片，我把它放在杯子下面。真是个好东西。听着，伙计们，我们没有串通。

So because I remember watching I remember watching the jurorgan episode and wondering whether you enjoy going to colluded. To like do the, because it blew my mind. So my objective today is to be completely honest with my audience. If I see you do something, do you want me to say it? For sure. Do you actually want me to say it? I mean, I guess so while I'm here. Okay. Fine. Okay. I mean, they trust you. Why do people listen to you? Great interview questions, but they trust you. That's how you build an audience. Yeah, I'd feel bad if I juped them.
所以，因为我记得我曾看过那个播客节目，并且想知道你是否享受这种合作，因为这让我大开眼界。因此，我今天的目标是对观众完全诚实。如果我看到你做了什么事，你希望我说出来吗？当然。你真的希望我说出来吗？我想是的，因为我现在就坐在这里。好的。因为他们信任你。为什么人们愿意听你说？这是个很好的采访问题，但他们信任你，这就是你建立观众群的方法。是的，如果我欺骗了他们，我会感到不安。

And what is it that you think you know that the average person doesn't know about the human condition? I know how people think. So I think what I learned at a certain point were skills that are for success in life. Let me explain to you, the fear of rejection is something that I think is the number one factor between failure and success is the fear. Most people don't try to achieve their goals because they're fearful of what will happen if they fail. Or they set themselves up for failure instead of for success.
你认为自己知道哪些普通人不知道的人类状况呢？我了解人们如何思考。我认为在某个时刻，我学到了一些关于生活成功的技巧。让我解释一下，我认为失败与成功之间的头号因素就是对拒绝的恐惧。大多数人不追求自己的目标，因为他们害怕失败后会发生什么。有时候，他们为自己设定的不是通向成功的路径，而是失败。

What do I mean by that? When I was 14, I'd walk up to your restaurant and talk my way and getting a restaurant gig because I've been doing magic tricks since I was 13. And I started learning by iterating what makes people when I walk up to them comfortable with me, what makes them uncomfortable. I started learning how people think. And it's down to the smallest little nuances. I learned that if I approach you directly, the same way that animals fear you when they see two eyes versus if I turn ever so slightly and approach your table at an angle, you only see one eye.
我是什么意思呢？当我14岁时，我会走到你的餐馆，靠着自己说服的本事获得一个餐馆的工作，因为我从13岁开始就一直在做魔术表演。在这个过程中，我通过不断尝试，学习怎样让人在我走近时感到舒服，怎样会让他们不舒服。我开始学习人们的思维模式，一直到最细微的差别。我发现，如果我直接走向你，就像动物看到两只眼睛会感到害怕那样，而如果我稍微转个身，从一个角度走向你的餐桌，那么你只会看到一只眼睛。

We're hardwired from thousands and thousands of years of avoiding predators that one eye is less danger. Animals aren't as fearful of you. So I walk up to you. I create time limits. I learned quickly that if I walk up the first thing someone thinks is, oh my god, is he going to be here long? The next thing is, do they even know this kid's working here? Is he any good at this? Oh god, I need money. Do I have to tip him? I didn't bring cash. All these thoughts that go through your mind. They're known as heuristics. It's how we deal with our life every day.
我们经过成千上万年的进化，本能地认为用一只眼睛观察意味着危险较少。动物们也不会对你那么害怕。所以，当我走近你时，我为交流设定一个时间限制。我很快就明白，如果我走过来，你首先会想：“天哪，他会在这呆多久？”接下来是：“他们知道这个孩子在这里工作吗？他这方面有没有什么能耐？”然后又想：“天啊，我需要给他小费吗？我没带现金。”所有这些思维过程被称为启发式思维。这就是我们每天处理生活的方式。

And if you can know what somebody's thinking, not to perform a mental district, but know what they're thinking when they meet you or when you ask your boss for a raise or when you ask a girl or a guy out on a date, you knowing that is a huge tactical advantage. And specifically, how would you do that? What would you say? What I would say is in my mind, as a mentalist, what I do most is prepare. I prepare in advance for what will work, what won't work, and all the troubleshoots in between. Plant ABCD all the way to Z.
如果你能够知道别人正在想什么，那不是指操控心灵，而是在他们与你见面时，或者在你向老板要求加薪时，又或者在你约男孩或女孩出去时，知道他们在想什么，这对你来说是一个巨大的策略优势。那么，具体该怎么做呢？你要怎么说呢？作为一名心理术专家，我要说的是，最重要的是提前准备。我会预先准备好什么方法有效，什么方法无效，以及中间可能出现的所有问题，像是提前准备好从计划A到计划Z。

So in that situation, every time I learned something new, I learned quickly that people didn't know if I was working at the restaurant. Am I just some kid who walked up to you? Well, who is this? So I walk at an angle, so they know I might be leaving soon. I'm one foot in, I'm one foot out. I would then say to you, did you hear what's going on tonight? It's your lucky day. Right away, that's a different thing. That's a dopamine hit. That's the same way when your phone buzzes. That's why we're hooked.
在那种情况下，我每次学到新东西时，很快就意识到人们并不知道我是不是在餐厅工作。我只是一个走到你面前的小孩吗？他们会想，这是谁啊？所以我会走得有点倾斜，以便让他们知道我可能很快就要离开了。我一只脚进来，一只脚出去。然后我会对你说，听说今晚有什么好事啊？真是你的幸运日。这立刻就变得不一样了。那是一种多巴胺的刺激，就像手机震动时的感觉一样。这就是为什么我们会上瘾。

Who texted me? What does this say? Is this a like? Is this a comment? That's that lottery. By me saying to you a question that denotes positive energy without a yes or no, you don't have a way to stop me. If I said, hey, do you want to see me do magic? No, get out of here. Boom, we're done. Asking people questions that are open-ended, that are inherently positive, almost always generate a great response. Do you hear why? It's your lucky night. Oh, why is it my lucky night? And I say, the owner brought me in as a special treat to do something amazing for you.
谁给我发的信息？这上面写了什么？这是点赞吗？还是评论？就像买彩票一样。当我向你提出一个不需要用“是”或“不是”来回答的问题，而这个问题又充满正能量时，你就无法拒绝我。如果我说，嘿，你想看我表演魔术吗？不，走开。好吧，我们的对话就结束了。向人们提出开放性的问题，这些问题本身就带有积极的意味，几乎总能得到很好的回应。你明白为什么吗？今晚对你来说是幸运的夜晚。哦，为什么是我的幸运夜晚？我会说，店主特意请我来为你准备一个惊喜节目。

Now listen to this. The owner, they know I'm working there. The owner brought me in. I know the owner, social value, social currency, as a special treat. That means you don't need to pay me money. They've paid the bill amazing and then to show you something amazing. I've given you no point at which to say no. I've given you very few angles to think anything but positive. I've done this all in hopefully less than 10 seconds. That's the intro. Now you better have your A game. I better have a trick that's going to blow them away and capture their attention.
现在听我说。店主知道我在那工作，是店主邀请我来的。我认识店主，这是一种社交价值和社交货币，这是一种特别的待遇。这意味着你不需要给我钱，他们已经结清账单了，还能展示给你一些很棒的东西。我没有给你任何拒绝的理由，也几乎没有给你任何角度去想负面的东西。我希望在不到10秒内把这些都告诉你。这就是开场白。现在你得全神贯注，我必须要展示一个能够震撼他们并吸引他们注意的绝活。

Let's just pause there for a second because I think everybody, whether you're a content creator or you're working in sales or you're interviewing people to join your company, what I heard there was you created this positive curiosity gap. Yes. That's also what Mr. Beast does at the start of his videos. The hook, Instagram. He is a positive curiosity gap where you need that gap closed. You said, in that case, they brought me in. Have you heard what's happening tonight? It's amazing. You brought me in as a treat to do something amazing. Immediately, I need to know what this is. What is this? I don't want you to leave.
我们先暂停一下，因为我觉得无论你是内容创作者、从事销售工作，还是在招聘新员工，刚才我听到的是你制造了一个积极的好奇心缺口。是的，这也是Mr. Beast在他的视频开头所做的。他在Instagram上使用这种吸引人的开场白，创造了一个你想要填补的好奇心缺口。你说，在那种情况下，他们把我叫来。你听说今晚要发生什么事吗？真是令人惊叹。他们把我当作一个惊喜，请我来做一些了不起的事情。我立刻就想知道这到底是什么。我不想让你离开。

Then you'd blow them away somehow. I'd blow them away but the lessons to be learned from there are things that I've used for the rest of my life and they apply so much to today's day and age where what is the currency of our time? Attention. This very moment that someone's listening and watching can allow you to blow up a business. We have never been in an era where you're phone. Having a phone can allow you to become a global superstar to launch a business. It's like 100 years ago, this didn't exist. This option. Knowing how to connect with people on an emotional level and then knowing what does your audience want.
然后你会想办法让他们大吃一惊。我也会这样做，但从中得到的教训是我一生都在运用的东西，这些教训在今天这个时代尤其适用。我们这个时代的“货币”是什么？是注意力。在这一刻，如果有人在听你、看你，你就可能让一个生意一举成名。我们从未处在这样一个时代，只需一个手机，就可以让你成为全球明星，启动一个生意。就像100年前，这种可能性是不存在的。重要的是要知道如何在情感层面上与人们建立联系，还要了解你的观众想要什么。

That's what I learned early on. I'm just knowing how people think and using that to entertain them. How much of it is based on my body language? How much of it is based on how I behave? I say that because the audience, they're all professionals working in their careers and they're very keen to better understand people through observations. Whether it's their team members, whether it's clients or whoever it might be. I'm wondering if there's anything I can learn to be a better observer of the people in my life. Absolutely.
这是我很早就学到的。我只是了解人们的思维方式，并利用这点来娱乐他们。其中有多少是基于我的肢体语言？有多少是基于我的行为？我这么说是因为观众都是在职场上的专业人士，他们都非常想通过观察更好地理解别人。不管是他们的团队成员、客户还是其他人。我在想是否有我可以学习的东西，让我能更好地观察我生活中的人。绝对可以。

For my performances, let's break this down. I'm an entertainer. That's what I do for living. Now, after many years, people ask me, how do you do it? How do you do it? I've realized you don't want to know how I do it. You don't really. If I were to guess, let's do something fun. You have a deck of cards. Let's just sweeten the deal. These are your cards. Correct. I'm not touched. These are not magic trick involved. These are all cards. Yes. Here's what I'd like to try for you. Put them down in front of you, please. You've mixed them up. Do you want to mix them some more? Yes. I do. Please. Mix them as much as you'd like. I'll just say that. I just don't say a word.
对于我的表演，我们来详细说明一下。我是一名娱乐表演者，这就是我的职业。在多年之后，人们问我，你是怎么做到的？你是怎么做到的？我意识到你们并不是真的想知道我是如何做到的。其实真的不。我猜测让我们来做些有趣的事情吧。你面前有一副牌。我们来增加点乐趣。这些牌是你的，对吗？我没有动过。这不是魔术牌，是普通的牌。现在我要为你试实验一个东西。请把它们放在你面前。你已经洗过牌了。你想再洗一次吗？好的，我想请你尽情地洗牌。就这样，我不会多说一句话。

Okay. The moment I touch those cards, my brain flips a switch and goes to this is a magic trick. That's what I know. I know that archetype. I'm not touching those cards. I couldn't care less about those cards. Imagine that in front of you instead was an invisible pack of cards. Steven, this is where I changed gears. Where years ago, I spent hours and hours learning a slight of hand. Pick up the invisible deck, please. Just pretend. Just like that. I want you to spread them out in front of you. Face down. You can't see them. Steven, you close your eyes. You reach down.
好的。当我一接触到这些牌，我的大脑就会转换成“这是个魔术”的状态。我明白那个类型。我不想碰那些牌，我一点也不在乎那些牌。想象一下，面前不是一副普通的牌，而是一副看不见的牌。史蒂文，这就是我转换策略的地方。多年前，我花了很多时间练习手法。请“拿起”这副看不见的牌。就假装这样。我想让你把它们在面前摊开，牌面朝下。你看不见它们。史蒂文，闭上眼睛。然后伸手去拿。

Here's the part where we can't collude because they're invisible and you don't know what you're about to do much less me. And now when you reach down and imagine you just grab a card at random face down. Do it for me now, please. Stop right there. Freeze. Have I told you what to do at this moment? Have I said anything? Is there any way that you could know what card you just picked in your hand or I could know where any of this? No. No. This is spontaneous, impulsive, and in the moment. It's the gold standard for what I do. Don't say a word. Look at it. Look at me. Just think.
这是我们无法串通的一部分，因为它们是看不见的，而且你不了解你接下来要做什么，更别说我了。现在，请想象一下，你随意从面朝下的卡片中抽出一张。请现在为我这样做。停在那里。冻结。我有没有告诉你在这个时刻该做什么？我说过什么吗？你能知道你刚选了哪张牌，或者我能知道这里的任何情况吗？没有，没有。这是自发的、冲动的，当下的。这是我工作的黄金标准。不要说话。看着它。看着我。只是思考。

The cards are red, they're black. There's the hearts, the diamonds, the clubs, and the spades. There's the number cards. There's the big cards. A2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, Jack, Queen King. Close your eyes. That's it. I'm going to take these cards that are next to you. Oh, sorry. And I'd like you to keep your eyes closed if you don't mind. And this is not a card trick, but I want to visual for your audience. Hold your hand out, please. And hold it as if you were holding one card in your hand. Keep your eyes closed. Do not open them. I'm going to place one card in your hand. Close your fingers and freeze right there.
牌是红色的，也是黑色的。有红心、方块、梅花和黑桃。有数字牌，也有大牌。A, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10，杰克、皇后和国王。闭上你的眼睛。就是这样。我将拿走你旁边的这些牌。哦，抱歉。如果你不介意，请继续闭着眼睛。这不是魔术，但我想为你的听众创造一个视觉体验。请伸出你的手，像拿着一张牌一样，闭上眼睛，不要睁开。我会把一张牌放在你手里，合上你的手指，就保持这样。

Before you open your eyes, tell us what was that card? The three of diamonds. Open your eyes. Take a look. It's very, it is very, very difficult for me to understand how you do that. Now, here's the question. So I tell you this. If I were to teach you that, you could do it. It would take you quite some time, and you'll learn. And it was a narrowing down of a lot of options into one, which is a lot of what I do. I limit your options, and I read what you are giving off. Because there's no magic. There's no sleight of hand involved in this. Are we in agreement? This is an invisible deck. You took out a card. Let's put these away.
在你睁开眼睛之前，告诉我们那张牌是什么？是红心三。睁开眼睛看看。这真的太令人难以置信了，我很难理解你是怎么做到的。现在，我有一个问题。如果我教你这个技巧，你也可以做到。但这需要花费相当长的时间去学习。这其实是把很多选择缩小到一个选项的过程，而这正是我所做的：限制你的选择，并解读你透露的信息。因为这其中没有魔术，也没有障眼法。我们说得对吗？这是一副看不见的牌，你抽了一张牌。让我们把这些收起来。

But here's where I would say what's applicable is knowing how to read people more effectively in your life, not for the sake of a trick, but knowing what they're actually thinking. Now, if you're watching this and you said you're a business person, you want a tangible takeaway for body language, you ask yourself, was there a body language thing? Was there something that you did specifically? Was there a flex of an arm? Was there a twinge of an eyebrow? Was there something that you can see? There are definitely markers. But what I would describe to people is for a lot of people, they want to know a core thing. Is someone interested? Yes or no?
但我想说的是，真正对你生活有用的是更有效地解读他人的能力，这不是为了耍小聪明，而是真正了解他们在想什么。如果你是一位商界人士，并且希望在肢体语言方面获得一些实用的指引，那么你可以问自己，有没有观察到任何特定的肢体语言？有没有看到手臂的肌肉收缩？眉毛是否有所动？是否有其他明显的信号？答案是肯定的，确实有这些标志。不过，我想告诉大家的是，大多数人想知道的核心问题是：对方是否对我感兴趣？是否？

And is someone lying? Yes or no? If you could know those two things, I think that opens up a world of possibilities. How many major moments of your life had to do with somebody liked or is interested in what you're doing, be it in sales or business or personal, or if somebody was telling you the truth or lying, the best way to learn if somebody's lying to you is learning their benchmarks. Let me explain to you what that means. Meeting somebody one time, it's very hard to know things about them. One time transactions, you can't really gauge who they are as a person. But how many people in your life do you meet once? Few. Most of people you meet you meet often.
这段文字可以翻译和简化为： "有人在说谎吗？答案是‘有’或‘没有’吗？如果你知道这两件事，我认为这将打开一个充满可能性的世界。你生命中的多少重大时刻与某人是否喜欢或对你正在做的事情感兴趣有关，不论是在销售、商业还是个人层面，抑或与某人是否对你诚实有关。了解别人是否在撒谎的最佳方式是掌握他们的行为基准。让我解释一下这是什么意思。仅见某人一次，是很难了解他们的。一次性交易中，你无法真正判断他们是怎样的人。但你人生中遇见的人又有多少仅见过一次呢？很少。大多数你遇到的人都是经常见到的。"

So a lie detector machine, have you ever been lie detector machines? Never. So the way they work is they have to ask you questions beforehand to set your benchmarks. They have to check and they see, tell me an honest answer. Is your name Steven Barley? Yes, they look at your indicators to see what honesty looks like. And then they look to see, tell me a lie. And now they try to compare the two to each other. So what I do when I watch people and observe is I try to see what do they look like when they're telling me the truth.
所以测谎仪是一种机器，你有没有用过测谎仪？从来没有。那么它们的工作原理是这样的：首先，他们需要提前问你一些问题来设定基准。他们会检查你的反应，比如问你一个真实的问题："你的名字是Steven Barley吗？" 你回答“是的”，他们就观察你在说实话时的表现。接下来，他们会让你撒个谎，然后对比两种表现。因此，当我观察和分析人们的时候，我会尽量观察他们在告诉我真相时的表现。

And these are fun things you can try at home. See when somebody tells you a story. How many details do they insert? What's their cadence? How do they speak? You can tell when people are lying more often than not if you observe them often. You can see it. Do they add more details? So you can try to find fun ways that seem to be white lies to see, what do they do when they lie versus what do they do when they tell the truth? And then start to trust your instincts more. I think a lot of things that I do, I've unlearned bad habits.
这些都是你可以在家尝试的有趣事情。看看当有人给你讲故事时，他们会加入多少细节？他们的节奏是怎样的？他们是如何说话的？如果你经常观察他们，你往往可以辨别出他们是否在撒谎——你能够看出来。他们会加入更多细节吗？所以你可以尝试找一些看起来像是善意谎言的有趣方式，看看他们撒谎时和说实话时有什么不同。然后开始更加信任你的直觉。我认为，我做的很多事情都是通过去除坏习惯而学会的。

I think that when we were growing up, most of us had much better BS detection systems. When you're two, three, four, you know if your siblings lying to you, you know if people are lying to you very well, you kind of very young and there's an instinct involved that I think is akin to when I play ping pong. I can't think about my shot. I just do the shot. I don't know how I did it. My body just goes into motion. So when I'm performing, I am the way people always ask me, are you doing this in every moment of your life? No, it's tiring.
我觉得当我们在成长的时候，大多数人的“识破谎言”能力要更强一些。当你两三四岁的时候，你非常清楚你的兄弟姐妹是否在对你撒谎，你对别人是否对你撒谎也很敏感。那时我们还很小，拥有一种本能，这种本能类似于我打乒乓球的时候。我不能思考我该怎么打，我只是本能地去挥拍，我也不知道我是怎么做到的，我的身体会自动运作。所以当我在表演的时候，我觉得自己的状态就像人们常问我的是不是在生活的每个时刻都这样。其实不是，因为这样做太累了。

I'm focused, hyper focused on what you're doing. And the things that I'm watching that will give away certain elements. And I'm influencing you. There's misdirection. And I'm guiding you in a certain position in a certain way to what I want you to select. So I was trying to sell you something. Sure. I'm, I'm, we're doing a presentation. I'm a marketing agency owner. And I would like you to buy this marketing campaign from me instead of this one or no campaign.
我非常专注，非常专注于你正在做的事情。我正在观察一些细节，这些细节会透露出某些信息。同时，我在影响你，对你进行误导，引导你朝着我希望的方向做出选择。假设我是在尝试向你推销某样东西。我们正在进行一个演示，我是一家营销公司负责人，我希望你购买我推荐的这个营销活动，而不是其他活动或不做任何活动。

Sure. So what are some things you could tell me that I should be thinking about doing if I'm selling to you to make you buy what I would like you to buy? Number one rule. I call this channeling your Intermentalist. It's not about you. It's always about them. That's been the number one secret to my success. I shouldn't have been. I've been on all different networks doing what I do on CNBC. I've been on their dozens of times. That's the financial network.
当然可以。那么，如果我想让你购买我的产品，有哪些事情是我应该考虑去做的呢？ 第一条规则，我称之为"引导你的内心专家"。重点不在于你，而是要关注他们。这一直是我成功的秘诀。我本不应该做到这些，但我已经在各大不同的网络上展示我的工作，包括多次在金融网络CNBC上亮相。

How many other magicians or mentors have ever been on that network? Zero. It doesn't make sense. That's a serious network. They do finance. Why are they bringing me on? Because I tailor my presentations to the viewer. I don't think about myself. A card trick is about me. Me doing something related to stocks and bonds and dividends and interest rates. That is fascinating. The person watching the same way if I go into a room with football players. I make everything structured on football.
有多少魔术师或导师曾出现在那个电视网节目上？没有。这不合常理。那是一个专业的财经网络。他们为什么要邀请我上节目？因为我将我的表演内容量身定制给观众。我不只想着自己。一个纸牌魔术是关于我的，但如果我表演的是和股票、债券、股息和利息有关的内容，那就很吸引人。就像如果我走进一个充满足球运动员的房间，我会把一切内容都与足球结合起来。

So I challenge you that when you make a presentation like that, are you just thinking about you? Or where can you highlight the attributes of what is this person missing? What's wrong with what their status quo is? What are you missing? Listen to your consumer. Listen to your client. Listen to your audience. They will tell you. They will give you the answers to what you need to give back to them. So many people, when they approach someone else, they approach with the following. How great am I? How great is my product? Bum, bum, bum. It's all about me, me, this needs to be benefits oriented language. All of it should be you. I want to make your life easier. I want to make this migration to our platform seamless. What's currently bothering you? I want to know all the things that you are that are your moments of resistance. What's resisting you from saying yes? And every time you tell me one, I want to be prepared to check that off.
因此，我向你提出挑战，当你做这样的演讲时，你是否只在想自己？或者你是否能突出这个人所缺少的特点？他们现在的状况有什么问题？你又缺少了什么？倾听你的消费者，倾听你的客户，倾听你的观众，他们会告诉你，他们会给你需要回馈给他们的答案。很多人在与他人交流时，只想着展示自己的优秀，宣传自己的产品，多么伟大的 "我" 和 "我的产品"。这样的语言全是“自我导向”的。我们需要使用以“你”为中心的语言。我想让你的生活更轻松，我想使你迁移到我们的平台过程无障碍。目前有什么困扰你？我想知道你所有的阻力时刻。是什么让你无法说“是”？每当你告诉我一个，我都希望能做好准备一一解决。

That's so funny. You mentioned that. I know you want no downtime. Here's how we can ensure no downtime. You want to anticipate what they're going to say. The same way a mentalist does. But in this case, you're not guessing cards or numbers or names. You're guessing the thoughts of what's keeping them from buying your product. And is that practice, per se? If this was, if I was pitching to you and you're the CEO of Uber, and I want you to work with my agency, before I go into that meeting, you talked about preparation earlier on. Do you write down or just think about the rebuttals or the person that you're contending with? And then try and tailor the presentation to a set of sort of ideological ego factors that that you believe that person's coming into the room with. Right. So I write down everything. Literally at one chapter in that book is all about how taking notes has changed my life.
这太有趣了，你提到了这一点。我知道你希望没有任何停机时间。下面是我们确保没有停机时间的方法。你需要预见他们会说些什么，就像心理学家一样。但在这种情况下，你不是在猜测牌、数字或名字，而是在猜测是什么阻止了他们购买你的产品。这算是一种练习吗？如果我是在向你推销，而你是Uber的CEO，我想让你和我的公司合作，在我进入那个会议之前，你提到过要准备。你是写下反驳意见还是只是在脑海中想一想与之竞争的人？然后尝试根据你认为那个人带进房间的一些意识形态或自我因素来调整演示内容。对，我把一切都写下来。在那本书的某一章完全是关于如何记笔记彻底改变了我的生活。

So at every show and through every interaction that I ever have with somebody, I write down. I show last night, I show the night before. I will write down. I have a shorthand to make it quicker. But I will write down everything that I did. Everybody that I met, things that I remember about them. And I will do this immediately when I finish the show. If I might have a meet and greet in photos, the moment it's done, you'll sometimes see me in an Uber in my hotel. And I'm writing furiously everything while it's still in my mind and fresh because information is power. And the number one thing that people care about is themselves, their family, their friends, their career. Right. All of us are the star of our own movie. You're the star of your movie. I'm the star of my movie. Right here, the person, man, the camera star, everybody else is supporting cast.
每场演出和与每个人的互动中，我都会做记录。我记录昨晚的演出，也记录前晚的演出。我会尽快写下来，我有一套速记法来加快速度。我会写下我做过的所有事情，见过的每一个人，以及我对他们的印象。我会在演出结束后立即这么做。有时候如果我有见面会和拍照的环节，一结束你就会看到我在酒店的Uber里疯狂写下所有事情，因为这些信息趁着记忆新鲜时记录下来是很有用的。信息就是力量，而大家最关心的就是他们自己、他们的家庭、朋友和事业。没错，我们都是自己电影中的主角。你是你电影的主角，我是我电影的主角。旁边的人、摄影师、明星，其他人都是配角。

So think of it this way. If you can remember things about that person, not creepy. What if they told you something? Last night, I met somebody, she has two children. They're three and five. Her oldest son absolutely loves this one YouTube star. They live, I know where they live. She just shared a lot of details with me that in her mind are kind of like snap chats. They vanished. They didn't vanish to me. So now that I've written those down, I might see her in a month, in a year, in a decade. Do you know how great that feeling is to somebody when you remember things they told you? It's like winning the lottery. It's literally like you get to do a magic trick like I do, but people give you credit. I will remember at shows who hired me for the show.
把它想象成这样吧。如果你记得关于那个人的信息，不用觉得奇怪。假设他们告诉了你一些事情。昨晚，我遇到了一位女士，她有两个孩子，分别是三岁和五岁。她的大儿子特别喜欢一个YouTube明星。我还知道他们住在哪里。她和我分享了许多细节，在她看来就像瞬间消失的快照。对我而言，这些信息却没有消失。所以我把这些记下来了，可能一个月、一年、甚至十年后再次见到她。你知道当你记得别人告诉你的事情时，会给他们带来多大的喜悦吗？就像中彩票一样。就像你可以做魔术一样，但人们会为此而称赞你。我会在表演时记住是谁聘请了我。

Oh, they know this person. Now we have a chain. We have a referral link. I might see them again. I guessed their ATM pin code three years ago. It was 6124. I now know that. I bump into them there and I don't have a supernatural memory. Another part of the book is how to improve your memory, which I think is also a huge secret to success in life that people don't realize. We have phones now. We think our phone does it for us. That's not true. And I say to them, I go, John, I show up. You change that pin code from 6124. He is blown away. Steven, do you understand? That's not a trick. I wrote it down. There's no, I'll tell you exactly how I did it. All I did was take the time to review it before I got there and made him feel special.
哦，他们认识这个人。现在我们有了一条联系链。我们有一个推荐链接。我可能会再次见到他们。我三年前猜到了他们的ATM密码，是6124。现在我知道了。我在那里碰到了他们，我没有过人的记忆力。书中的另一部分讲的是如何提高记忆力，我认为这也是人生成功的一个巨大秘密，但人们没有意识到。现在我们有手机，我们以为手机能帮我们记住，其实并不是这样。我跟他们说，我遇见他的时候，说：“约翰，你改了那个密码，从6124改了。他很惊讶，问：‘史蒂芬，你懂吗？这不是个戏法。我把它写了下来。’我可以告诉你我是怎么做到的。只不过是在到达之前花时间复习一下，让他觉得自己很特别。”

And do you know what he's going to do? He's going to talk about that moment for years to come. I've created a memory. If you can create memorable moments for others, they will remember you and they will spread the word to others. And that's how you, whatever you do in life, what you do for others is what's going to eventually propel you to success. I would say give gratuitously, but the more gratuitous you give, there's this funny way in the world where the universe bounces back. And the more I do for others, they want to do the same for me. If you were to make that really practical for me, so you have a shorthand book which you write to every time you meet someone. Yes, you can do it in your phone. I do it in my phone. So I have calendar entries. Let's be very clear. Let's give you brass tax. I will write in. If you look at my phone right now, the event last night, set list, I wrote down the name of the host, his wife.
你知道他会怎么做吗？他会多年来谈论那一刻。我创造了一个回忆。如果你能为他人创造难忘的时刻，他们就会记住你，并把你的事告诉别人。这就是无论你在人生中做什么，最终让你成功的秘诀：为他人着想。我建议慷慨付出，但世界有一种有趣的方式，施与越多，回馈也就越多。我为他人做得越多，他们也愿意同样回报我。为了让这变得更实用，可以使用一个速记的方法：每次见到某人时都记下来。是的，你可以在手机上做，我就是这么做的。我会在日历中记录。例如，如果你现在看看我的手机，上一个活动的日子，我记下了主持人和他妻子的名字。

They have three children. They have twins. Like everything I bought this is very fresh in my mind. And I'll remember it for a day, but then it will kind of dissipate, which tricks that I do, what happened in the tricks. What were funny moments that were off the cuff? Who did I meet earlier that day? I met somebody and again, I'm writing all this stuff down because that information is power, that information, the longer you hold it, it's a coupon with no expiration date. And when you serve it up to that person, in fact, it's the reverse, the longer you hold onto it, the more impressive it is. If I met you yesterday and you told me your favorite color is magenta, and I say to you tomorrow, not that exciting, but in two years, if when I meet you and we see a carigal, Stephen, that's your favorite color magenta, isn't it? And not as a trick just there in your mind dopamine. How did you remember that? You're touched that I remember that about you.
他们有三个孩子，其中有一对双胞胎。就像我买的所有东西，这件事在我脑海中非常新鲜，我会记得一天，然后它会慢慢消散。我用过哪些小技巧，在这些小技巧中发生了什么？有哪些即兴的有趣时刻？那天我又遇到了谁？我遇到了一些人，我把这一切都记下来了，因为信息就是力量。这些信息，持有越久，就像一张没有过期日期的优惠券。当你把它“呈现”给某人时，实际上恰恰相反，你保持得越久，给人的印象就越深。如果我昨天见到你，你告诉我你最喜欢的颜色是洋红色，而我在明天告诉你这件事，可能不会太令人兴奋。但如果两年后，当我再见到你时，我们看到一件洋红色的东西，我说：“斯蒂芬，那是你最喜欢的颜色吧？”这不仅仅是一个小技巧，而是在你脑海中产生的奖励效应。你会感动于我还记得关于你的这样一件事。

Right? That's what people care about. People think about again, their family, their friends, their faith, their business, all of that. The more that you can make someone else shine, the better it happens to you. Everything is about when I, my whole act is geared towards making other people look good. I was thinking about this quite a lot. And I actually posted on my LinkedIn this morning about the paradox of small things. And what I said in the post, it's reflective on Jimmy Fallon. I was on his show this week and he mentioned that we have this tradition at the end of the podcast with the guests. It's a small thing that we do at the end of the show. And the fact that he remembered it and told his audience about it and said he brought him to tears, made me realize that actually the small things in life that we often overlook, like remembering someone's name or, as you said, their family or some sort of intricate personal detail, they're so powerful because most people don't think they matter.
对吧？这才是人们关心的事情。人们总是在思考他们的家庭、朋友、信仰、事业等等。你越能让别人闪耀，事情对你来说就越好。我整个理念都是为了让别人看起来更好。我对这个想法思考了很多，今天早上我还在LinkedIn上发了一篇关于“小事情悖论”的文章。在这篇文章中，我提到了Jimmy Fallon。本周我参加了他的节目，他提到在我们播客的结尾，有一个与嘉宾的小传统。这是我们在节目结束时做的一件小事。他记得这件事，并在观众面前提到，还说感动到流泪，让我意识到我们常常忽视的生活中的小事，比如记住某人的名字，或像你说的，他们的家庭或某个细微的个人细节，非常有力量，因为大多数人都不觉得它们重要。

That's it. So when one person in your life remembers a tiny detail about you that kind of matters to you, but even your name, something that matters to you, it's so shockingly rare. Right? It's so shockingly powerful. Because most people think it's so unbelievably petty. And this is the, I think the paradox of small things that they're actually in fact really big things. Well, think about how many small things if you were to look at your life and just have these little roads, these like fork in the road, where one path led to this, and I have those moments where in my life where somebody said one thing to me, sometimes off-handed, they don't even remember it. And it changed the course of my life. And there's like little moments I had one, so I worked on Wall Street. I didn't think that you could be a magician or a mentalist. It's crazy that it never even occurred to me as an option.
就是这样。所以当一个人记得关于你的一个小细节，一个对你来说很重要的细节，甚至是你的名字，这真是太罕见了，对吧？这是如此不可思议的力量，因为大多数人都觉得这些事情微不足道。这就是我所谓的小事悖论，其实这些小事真的很重要。想想看，如果你回顾自己的人生，可能会发现许多小事就像是人生道路上的分岔口，其中一个决定了你的方向。我生命中有过这样的时刻，有人随口说的一句话，他们自己甚至不记得了，却改变了我的人生轨迹。我也曾有过这样的小瞬间，比如我曾在华尔街工作，那时我从未想过我可以成为一名魔术师或者心灵魔术师，简直不可思议，这个选项甚至从未在我脑海中浮现过。

But at one point, I had, there's two moments, but one of the big ones is I'm doing something for the CFO of my company, Merrill Lynch. He does not know that I work for the company. And I used to do this magic trick with a slight of hand where I take five one dollar bills. I hold them. I snap, they turn to hundreds. Amazing. It's great trick. And at that moment, he's an Australian guy. And he goes, he goes, we need you working here, mate, and everyone laughs. And it's a joke I've heard a hundred times, a thousand times. And I go, it's funny, sir. I do work here. And he thought it was a joke. I broke character, and I go, no, seriously, I work at 95 Green at your Gold Togged Services Department. And he looked at me and goes, we do work in here. In that moment to him, I assume was nothing. It was forgotten moments later.
在某个时刻，这其中有两个特别的时刻，其中之一是我正在为我公司的首席财务官做一些事情，我所在的公司是美林证券。他不知道我其实是公司员工。我以前常常玩一个魔术，利用巧妙的手法，把五张一美元钞票拿在手上，然后一弹手指，它们就变成了百元大钞，令人惊叹，是个很棒的戏法。就在那时，他是个澳大利亚人，他说：“我们需要你在这儿工作，老兄。”大家都笑了。这是我听过上百次、上千次的玩笑。我说：“有意思，先生，我确实在这儿工作。”他以为我是在开玩笑。我打破了角色身份，说：“不，真的，我在你们的‘金彩服务部门’的95号绿楼工作。”他看着我说：“我们真在这儿上班。”对他来说，那一刻大概什么也不是，瞬间就被忘记了。

But that moment changed the course of my life. Because there was like a switch in my mind. It was, what am I doing working here? You know, you kind of like can visualize your future? Is this my path? Is this what I'm going to do forever? Or am I going to decide that you live one life? And I'm going to go for it. And I think for a lot of people who are listening to this, I'm not saying to quit your job. But you have to yourself, look in the mirror, is this what I want to be doing? And I think for a lot of people, they might want more, whether that's their own business, whether it's to climb the wrong of a ladder. And it's that moment that somebody can change your life and take action and decide I'm going to do it, but also formulate a plan. Be effective and smart in your execution.
但那一刻改变了我的人生轨迹。因为我脑海中好像有个开关被扳动了。我在这里工作到底是在做什么？你是否能想象自己的未来？这是我的道路吗？我会这样做一辈子吗？还是我要决定抓住人生的机会？我认为，对于很多正在听这个故事的人来说，我不是在建议你辞掉工作，但你必须对着镜子问自己：这是我想做的事情吗？我想很多人可能会希望得到更多，无论是自己的事业，还是在职场上更进一步。就在那一刻，有人能改变你的生活，使你采取行动，决定去追求梦想，但同时也要制订一个计划。在执行时做到高效和聪明。

And in your case, you know, leaving Marilyn's to go and become a mentalist is quite a, quite a leap. Usually, but without crazy, same with down the ground. No one said to me, oh, this is a great idea. Even though I've got to tell you the truth, most people are very happy for me. But behind closed doors, I think they thought this kid's, you know, he's nuts. You kind of were nuts because statistically, probabilistically, the chance of you becoming a quote unquote successful mentalist is extremely low, extremely low. But I mean, like there’s probably like a handful of mentalists that I'm a lot of money. I would say it's a very low number.
在你的情况下，从Marilyn's离开去成为一名心灵魔术师，确实是一个相当大的跳跃。通常情况下，没有人会认为这是个好主意。虽然大多数人表面上为我感到高兴，但在私底下，他们可能觉得这个孩子有点疯狂。其实你确实有点疯狂，因为从统计学和概率学的角度来看，成为一名成功的心灵魔术师的机会极低极低。可以说，赚很多钱的心灵魔术师屈指可数，真的不多。

But here's the question you should ask yourself. Why not you? That like the framing of that is always, of course, there's statistical, why not me? And so I think the way you think in your mind, the voice in your head that tells you that loop determines things. So it's all about setting yourself up for success rather than failure. How much of being a mentalist is understanding human behavior versus everything? I don't even know how to answer it. It's literally that’s I'm a student of the human, like how people behave. But the practice of it, because Darren Brown is, I can say to him a friend. And if I've learned anything from him, and I do think he's the most incredible person on and off camera, it's that much of his work is making you think the trick is happening here. 100%.
但这里有一个问题你应该问问自己：为什么不是你呢？这样的思考方式总是有道理的，当然，统计上来看，为什么不是我？我认为你心中的想法，那个不断重复的声音，会决定一切。所以关键在于为成功而不是失败做好准备。在成为一名心灵魔术师的过程中，理解人类行为和其他因素的比例是多少？我甚至不知道该如何回答这个问题。我可以说，我真的是人类行为的学生，研究人们的行为方式。但实践过程中，因为我和Darren Brown算是朋友，如果我从他那里学到了一些什么，我认为他是镜头内外最不可思议的人，那就是他的许多工作都让你觉得戏法就发生在眼前，绝对如此。

But actually, the trick is happening, I'm happening over here. And he's misdirecting you to focus on my left hand. And the trick is taking place in my right hand. That's that couldn't be more true. That's exactly it. But that's that is knowing human behavior. Explain to me why. I don't want to say controlling, because it sounds very devious. But I'm controlling your attention and your thoughts. I'm guiding you in a certain way to either select right like or to give away something that you feel you have not given away. Should we should do a fun example? Sure.
其实，真正的把戏正在这里上演。我在这里，而他把你的注意力引导到我的左手。但实际上，这个把戏是在我的右手中进行。这再真实不过了，正是如此。这就是对人类行为的理解。请解释为什么。我不想说是“控制”，因为听起来有些狡猾。但实际上，我是在引导你的注意力和思维。我在某种程度上引导你做出选择或透露一些你认为没有泄露的信息。我们应该做个有趣的小例子吗？好啊。

Do you know off the top here at how many episodes you've had of this show? I think it's roughly 500. I believe so. Close your eyes. I want to make this a visual game. You're in this room of all different people that you've looked at. You've seen that you respect. Okay. Some of them could have been guests on the show. And then you get a tap on the shoulder. You turn around. You look at this person. And it's somebody you've met before 100%. And they say something to you. They've said it to you before. And you get deja vu. And it's something impactful. It left an impression on you. Is that a fair assessment?
您能不能随口说出您主持过多少集这个节目的具体数字？我觉得大概有500集。我相信是这样。请闭上眼睛。我想让这成为一个视觉游戏。您现在处于一个房间，里面有各种各样的人，这些人您见过，也尊重他们。其中一些人可能曾经是节目的嘉宾。然后，有人轻轻拍了拍您的肩膀。您转过身，看向这个人。这个人您之前绝对见过。他对您说了一些话，这些话您之前也听他说过。您有一种似曾相识的感觉。这些话给您留下了深刻的印象。这样描述是否准确？

Yeah. And that inherently right there. Boom. That makes you think of another person. I don't know whether I don't think they mentioned this other person. But something about that takeaway or that thought or that moment of clarity or wisdom made you think of someone else in your life. It was connected to them. Yeah. This next person person number two, I'm calling them. They jumped over. Open your eyes. When was the last time you had spoken to that person? The person number two.
好的。那么，在这种情况下，突然之间，你就会想到另一个人。我不知道他们是否提到过这个人，但那种领悟、思考或者智慧的时刻让你想到你生活中的另一个人。他与你有联系。接下来这个人，我称他们为“第二个人”，突然浮现在你的脑海中。你上次和第二个人交流是什么时候？

Yeah. Today. Today. Okay. Let's lean into this. Think of their first name. Count the letters to yourself. Don't say it. Yeah. And somebody you know well, you've spoken to them today. I watched your eyes. You went up, up, up, up, up. Five letters, isn't it? Yeah. You asked me how I do it. You said, do I study people? You just gave it away yourself. There's five letters to choose from. There's 26 in the alphabet. Pick any letter in this person's first name. Mix them up a little. Yeah. And then you grab one out and you just decide this is the letter I want to focus on.
好的。今天。今天。好吧，让我们来试试这个。想想他们的名字，在心里数一下字母的数量，不要说出来。是的，是一个你很熟悉的人，今天你和他们说过话。我注意到你的眼睛一直在上上下下，是五个字母，对吧？你问我我是怎么做到的，你问我是不是研究过人。其实是你自己透露了信息，名字有五个字母可以选，而字母表有26个字母。选一个这个人名字中的字母，可以稍微打乱顺序。是的，然后你抓住一个字母，决定这是你想专注的字母。

Yeah. Now knowing you, knowing you as an entrepreneur, knowing you the way you give interviews, I think I know what you would want to do. Knowing that you know Darren Brown, you know some of this works. So your instinct was to go against your instinct because you go, I know this would be obvious. You didn't think of the first letter. Did you? No. You didn't want to. You thought that would give it away. Yeah. Because once I know that, it's easier to figure out the rest. And then I know there's vowels in the name. And so inherently you said, that limits my subset. You didn't do a vowel. Did you? No. L. Are you thinking of an L? No. I got it. It's funny because by you saying no, it means you gave away both. I've written this down. Can you close your eyes for the viewers who are watching this as a video? I'm going to show them. And for everybody else to know who's just listening in their headphones while running or doing something, this can't change what I wrote down. Open it up. Open it up. You thought of an S, but switch from the L. Is that correct? Tell us all what is their first name? Jules. Jules.
好的。了解你，了解你作为创业者，了解你以往接受采访的方式，我想我知道你会想做什么。了解你知道Darren Brown，你对这些有些了解。所以你的本能反应是违背你的直觉，因为你会想，这会很明显。你没有想到第一个字母，对吗？没有。你不想那样做，你觉得那样会露馅。对。一旦我知道了那个，就更容易搞清楚剩下的。而且，我知道名字里有元音字母。所以本能上你会想，这样就会缩小选择范围。你没有选元音字母，是不是？没有。是L吗？你在想L吗？没有。明白了。有趣的是，通过你说“不”，反而透露了答案。我已经把这写下来了。请为正在看视频的观众闭上眼睛。我会给他们看。而对于那些只是在戴着耳机跑步或做其他事情时仅在听的人来说，这不会改变我写下的东西。打开它。你想到了S，但从L换了过去。对吗？告诉我们他们的名字是什么？Jules。Jules。

Working in the sales team at a startup can be a strange experience because one month you're chasing leads like the future of the business depends on it, which often it does. And then the next month you're buried in them. Pressure builds up and eventually, it starts clouding your judgment. Then you end up making a reactive decision instead of an informed one. Our sponsor Pipe Drive is the number one CRM tool for small to medium businesses made by salespeople for salespeople. It helps you get brutally clear on exactly where your focus should be. It shows you what opportunities have stalled and what is worth your time in focus. My team have been using the new Pipe Drive Prospector tool, which uses AI to search through over 400 million profiles to find verified decision makers and shares their contact information with you. So if you're interested in learning more, head to pipedrive.com slash CEO where you can get a 30-day free trial. And that's just for my audience PipeDrive dot com slash CEO.
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So it's time to join the 100,000 companies that are already using Pipe Drive by going to Pipe Drive dot com slash CEO now. You know, you walk into rooms and people hear that you're a mentalist. So they're already like somewhat on edge. Yeah. And you can see you can see that they're on edge, right? Yeah, you got to sweeten it because it's how what you do about that because everywhere you go, people are going to be like, fuck this guy. It might be able to guess my, you know, that's what they're thinking. He can get my bank pin. So I'm going to give nothing away. So you must be meeting people that are like closed off your entire life. How would you get them to go from close to open up? I think it's being likable. So this thing about it, if you met somebody who could really read your mind and I can't read minds, just I want to be clear throughout the process because people say, oh, what's he trying to teach? I can't read minds. I'm not psychic. I am not supernatural. I don't claim to be you could do this. Maybe not as well because I think there's an inherent talent. Just same as musical talent.
所以，现在是时候加入已经在使用Pipe Drive的10万家公司了，只需访问pipedrive.com/CEO。你知道吗，当你进入房间，人们听说你是个心灵感应者时，他们会有些紧张。是的，你可以看出来他们有些紧张，对吧？你得让气氛轻松些，无论你走到哪里，人们都会想，“这个人会不会猜出我的想法？” 他们可能会担心你能破解他们的银行密码，所以他们什么都不透露。你一定经常遇到这样对你封闭心扉的人吧。你怎样让他们从封闭转向开放呢？我认为关键在于让自己讨人喜欢。想想看，如果你见到一个真的能读懂你想法的人（我想澄清一下，我并不能读心），因为人们会说：“他在教什么东西？” 我不能读心，我不是通灵者，也没有什么超自然能力。我并不宣称我是，但也许你也可以做到这一点，只是可能不像我这么好，因为这就像音乐才能一样，是一种天赋。

I can't play a guitar. I can't sing to save my life no matter how much training you give me. I will never have the voice of Harry Styles or Ed Sheeran. It's not in the cards for me. But you're tricking me to think that my eye movements played a role. So I will tell you this, I am tricking you to believe that certain things are more important than others. Your eye movements and my language play a role, but whether it played a 10% role, a 50% role, a 100% role, that's 100% true. My job is to misdirect you and to use multiple methods so that as soon as you go down a path and you think you got me, I jump to the next lane. I do it a different way. There's also a possibility that 0% of that trick you just did was about my eyes. I didn't say it was about your eyes though, did I? You said you looked up the one, two, three, four, five, absolutely. That is absolutely true. Try for yourself though.
我不会弹吉他。无论接受多少训练，我都不会唱歌。我的声音永远不会像哈里·斯泰尔斯或艾德·希兰。我不具备那些潜质。但你让我误以为我的眼睛动作有某种影响。所以我要告诉你，我也在让你以为某些事情比其他事情更重要。你的眼睛动作和我的语言都是有影响的，但这个影响是10%、50%还是100%，那绝对是真的。我的工作就是让你分心，用多种方法来应对，一旦你认为抓住了我的点，我就转换到下一条路径。换一种方法继续。还有一种可能性是，你刚才的那点技巧与我的眼睛无关。我并没有说和你的眼睛有关，对吧？你说你查看了一、二、三、四、五，这绝对没错。不过你自己也可以试试。

Honestly, try for yourself. How many letters somebody counts if they have a long name, it takes longer to process. You aren't going to be able to use a name and counting the number of letters in your day-to-day life. So if I were to show you how to do it, you were to attempt it and you were to get it right 75% of the time, which you'd be shocked that you would, you'd then go, now what? Who cares? Most of you are not going to take and spend the next decades learning mentalism. Rather, I'm going to try and take the most important parts of mentalism and show you how you can use them.
说实话，自己试试看。如果一个人的名字很长，数清楚字母数会花更多时间。在日常生活中，估计你不会通过名字来数字母数。所以，如果我教你怎么做，你试过了，而且成功率达到75%，你可能会感到惊讶，但接下来呢？谁在乎呢？大多数人不会花几十年时间去学习心灵感应术。相反，我会尝试提取心灵感应术中最重要的部分，教你如何在实际中使用它们。

Another huge one is just confidence. How do people build confidence? When I was 14 and I started doing this, was I this hyperconfident teenager? No. My folks just got divorced. My life was pretty tumultuous. I think I did this as a way to not have to deal with all of the trauma and kind of sadness and confidence gets built over time. So what's a better way to fast track that? For a lot of people, you walk into a room, you have to give a presentation. Are you nervous as hell? I think most people would say yes. Would you agree to that?
另一个重要因素就是自信。人们如何建立自信？当我14岁的时候，我开始做这件事，我是一个非常自信的青少年吗？不是的。当时我父母刚刚离婚，我的生活相当动荡不安。我想我做这件事是为了不用去面对所有的创伤和悲伤，而自信是随着时间的推移逐渐建立起来的。那么，有没有更好的方法能加速这个过程呢？对很多人来说，当你走进一个房间，必须做一个演讲时，你会紧张得要命吗？我想大多数人都会说会，你同意吗？

What can you do tomorrow to get in there and feel like you own the room? The same way I go on TV for a million people or right now for millions. I think there's so much of it has to do with there's a panic that we have in us where we take and we fear a certain feeling, which is I have certain things that I dread doing. Like let's say I have to call someone and give a call of things I don't want to say. I have to turn someone down for something. I hate that. I'm avoiding it at all lengths.
明天你可以做些什么来让自己充满自信地走进房间，感觉好像自己就是那个场合的主人？就像我在电视上面对百万观众，或者现在面对数百万观众时一样。我认为这其中很大一部分和我们内心的恐慌有关，我们害怕某种感觉，就像我对某些事情感到畏惧一样。比如说，我必须打电话给某个人，讲一些我不愿意说的话；或者我必须拒绝别人的请求。我非常不喜欢这些事情，总是想尽办法去避免。

The same way you procrastinate things you don't want to do. I have this little trick in my mind where what I do is I ask myself, what will I feel like tomorrow about this? What will I feel like tomorrow? What if I could fast forward my feelings to tomorrow? And instead of just up in the air, try it. Right now, what's something that you the listener don't want to do? You don't want to call someone. You don't want to deliver bad news. You know this person's about to rem you out. You're avoiding it at all costs.
就像你拖延那些你不想做的事情一样。我有个小技巧，就是问自己：明天我会怎么看待这件事？如果我可以提前感受到明天的感受，我会怎样？这个方法不是空想，而是可以实际试试的。现在，作为读者的你，有什么事情是不想做的吗？不想打电话给某人？不想传递坏消息？知道这个人会责备你，所以你极力避免去面对？尝试提前感受明天的心情，看看能不能帮助你行动。

You're moving in your calendar to tomorrow. The next that you keep doing that. Do it now. And I want you to set an alarm 24 hours from now. Put it in your in your thing. I'm not I'm for real putting alarm that says tomorrow, write down how you feel about this scale of one to 10. Right when you finish the call, you're going to feel in the dread before you're going to feel an eight nine 10 of dread. The next day when the alarm goes off, ask yourself how do I feel? Most of the time you feel nothing two or three. It's out of sight so what if you could trick your brain the same way I tricked you to think your eye movements have anything to do with it?
你一直在把日历上的事情推到明天，就这样一直拖延。现在就行动吧。我希望你现在设置一个24小时后的闹钟，把它加到你的日程里。我是认真的，请设置一个叫“明天”的闹钟，然后在通话结束时写下你对此的感受，从1到10进行评分。在完成这件事时，你可能会感到非常恐惧，可能会打8分、9分甚至10分。第二天，当闹钟响起时，问问自己现在的感受。通常情况下，你会觉得没什么特别的，可能只打2分或3分。这些事情已经被抛到脑后了，所以如果可以通过类似的方式欺骗你的大脑，让它不再关注这些问题，那会如何呢？

Trick your own brain to see how you feel a day from now. You feel nothing. So what if you can just start doing that to yourself? Read why your brain say I'm going to feel nothing in a day. Screw it. I'm going to do it now. And just that trick of getting over procrastination builds a tremendous amount of confidence. Another one is I would walk up to tables and people would kick me out. They'd be like, get out of here. Good to get they wouldn't pay attention to me. Things that would hurt my feelings.
欺骗自己的大脑，看看你一天后的感觉。你会感觉不到任何东西。那么如果你能开始对自己这样做呢？阅读为什么你的大脑会说“我一天后会感觉不到任何东西”。管它呢，我现在就去做。仅仅是克服拖延的这个小技巧，就能建立起巨大的自信。另外一个例子是，我会走到餐桌旁，但人们会让我离开。他们可能会说：“滚出去。”他们不会注意我，这些事情会伤害我的感情。

So what I did is I created in my mind some way where I have two separate personalities. This guy was owes the entertainer owes the magician. Now owes the mentalist. This guy was owes Pearlman. They don't know the real me. That's a different guy. So when I walked up to a table and got turned down or rudely rejected instead of me feeling that pain in myself, I pushed it somewhere else and I go, you know what? They didn't like owes the entertainer. That's a different guy that's not me.
所以，我在心里创造了一种方式，让自己有两个不同的身份。一个是舞台上的我，一个是魔术师，然后是心灵魔术师。这些都是我的舞台形象，而真实的我是不同的人。因此，当我走到一个桌边，被拒绝或者被粗鲁地对待时，我并不会让自己感到难过，而是把这种感受推开，然后想，他们不喜欢的是舞台上的我，那个人不是我真实的自己。

And so the same way that if you took right now a bowl of water right here and we poured salt in the water, it's salt water. But what if we could take an invisible small piece of plastic and put it right down the center and now you pour all the salt in one side. This side is immune. This is fresh water. If you can do that in your own mind, the same way that I use my tricks to trick your mind. Trick your own mind. That will take away the sting because so many of us we don't go after our goals because we're scared of what happens if they don't work out. It's all about accountability.
就像如果你现在在这里拿一个水碗，然后我们往水里倒盐，那就是盐水。但如果我们可以放入一个看不见的小塑料板，把碗一分为二，你把盐全倒在一边。那么另一边就不会受影响，还是淡水。如果你可以在自己的脑海中做到这一点，就像我用一些小技巧来迷惑你的大脑一样，你也可以用类似的方法来欺骗自己的想法。这能减轻恐惧，因为很多时候我们不追求目标，是因为害怕如果事情没有成功会怎么办。关键在于承担责任。

You fear the rejection. And if you can get over that, it is a super power in life. The same way you asked me, how did you know it was going to work? Because I stopped thinking about it not working. And people that have that singular focus on making something work, those are the entrepreneurs. Those are the people that you see achieve. Those are the athletes. Those are the people who have a hyper fixation and focus on a goal that they will make it happen. They manifest it.
你害怕被拒绝。如果你能克服这种恐惧，那将成为生活中的一种超能力。就像你问我，我是怎么知道会成功的？因为我不再考虑它不成功的可能性。那些专注于让事情成功的人，就是企业家，就是你看到的那些成功的人，就是运动员。他们专注于一个目标，全力以赴去实现它。他们将目标变为现实。

And what about communication, your communication style and how important that is? What are you thinking about when you're communicating as an entertainer to make sure people are paying attention and they're engaged? Be watching the audience all the time. The audience never lies. So you have to really assess what the audience is throwing at you and I'm seeing people and I'm seeing are they interested? Are they on the edge of their seat? Are they leaning forward indicators of interest? Are they sitting back and checking their watch? Are they yawning? Obviously you can't do this with everybody. When I'm in a room with a thousand people, maybe one guy's hung over. Maybe their baby didn't sleep last night and they had a red eye flight. I can't know everyone. But I can watch individuals and see how they're reacting to me and I can quickly change and pivot and see how I can continue keeping their attention.
那么，关于沟通呢？你的沟通方式有多重要？作为一个娱乐从业者，你在沟通时会考虑什么，以确保人们在关注和参与？要时刻观察观众，因为观众不会说谎。你必须认真评估观众给你的反馈。我会查看人们是否感兴趣，他们是否全神贯注，前倾的姿势是否表明他们有兴趣？或者他们是否靠在椅背上、看手表或者打哈欠？显然，你无法对每个人都进行观察。如果我在一个有一千人的房间里，也许有人头天晚上宿醉，或者他们的婴儿昨晚没睡好，他们坐了红眼航班来，我无法了解每个人的情况。但我可以观察个别人的反应，并迅速调整和转变，以继续吸引他们的注意力。

And if I was listening to this right now, am I turning it off? Am I fast forwarding? Am I getting tangible takeaways? If I get three things from this that I can put into action tomorrow, this is smash success. Because if I get one thing that somebody says to me, like one tidbit that they say, I feel like that can change your life, then take action. I'm all about action because I think in so many instances, there's no accountability. Inspiration motivation is garbage. I could care less if I've inspired you. I want action. What is your goal? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to make a certain amount of money? Are you making a million dollars next year? Is that really going to make you happy?
如果我现在正在听这个，我会关掉吗？我会快进吗？我会得到切实可行的收获吗？如果我从中获得了三样可以明天就付诸行动的东西，那就是巨大的成功。因为只要有人告诉我一件事，例如一句他们说的话，我觉得那可能会改变你的生活，那么就去采取行动。我注重行动，因为我认为在很多情况下，缺乏责任感。灵感和激励是空谈，我不在乎是否激励了你。我想要的是行动。你的目标是什么？你是想减肥吗？你是想赚一定数目的钱吗？你想明年赚到一百万美元吗？那真的会让你快乐吗？

So a lot of the time we make goals that we think of, but then we get them. I have made more money in the last 10 years than if you'd ask me 10 years about I dream possible. Does that make you happy? It makes life easier, but I don't think it's just pure fulfillment. I know a lot of people that are very, very wealthy and they aren't happy. I'm all around a lot of wealthy people, it's just a nature of my thing and I ask myself, they're billionaires. If this isn't making you happy, what is? I don't think that money is always the goal that you should attain. I understand why I didn't have a lot of money as a kid so that was like a barometer success for me. But as I have kids and as I see that life is short and feel my mortality, I realize some things are much more important than money.
很多时候，我们设定目标，努力去实现它们。我在过去的十年里赚的钱，比十年前我梦想可能赚到的要多得多。这让我开心吗？当然，它让生活变得更轻松，但我不认为这就是纯粹的满足感。我认识很多非常富有的人，但他们并不快乐。我经常和许多富人交流，这也是我工作性质使然。我常问自己，他们已经是亿万富翁了，如果金钱不能带来快乐，那什么能呢？我觉得金钱不应该总是我们追求的终极目标。我能理解这一点，因为小时候我没有多少钱，所以金钱曾是我衡量成功的标准。但当我有了孩子，并意识到生命有限、感受到自身的渺小时，我明白有些事情远比金钱更重要。

But if you have a goal, let this be the cue not to inspire you, but to literally take action. Right now, what is it that you want to do? Somebody talked to me the other day and said, man, I love watching you run. I would love to run. Stop. Start. Running. Tomorrow, put a reminder in your calendar. Literally, tomorrow, my first run. Then put 130 days from now to make sure you're accountable and then decide what makes you accountable. For me, I don't like to be embarrassed. So I'm going to write to 10 people that I know and tell them I'm signing up for a 10k so that now if I don't go through with it, it's going to come up in a future conversation and they're going to say, hey, Steve, whatever I'm with the 10k, now I have to eat humble pie with 10 different people and say to them, you know what? I didn't do it.
但如果你有一个目标，不要只是把它当作激励你的信号，而是真正付诸行动。现在，你想做什么呢？前几天有人对我说，哥们儿，我喜欢看你跑步，我也想跑。停下来说，开始跑步吧。明天，在你的日历里设置一个提醒：明天，我的第一次跑步。然后设定一个130天后的期限，以确保你负责，然后决定什么能让你保持责任感。对我而言，我不想感到尴尬。所以我要写信给我认识的10个人，告诉他们我报名参加了一个10公里的比赛，这样如果我最终没有去做，他们会在将来的谈话中问我，嘿，史蒂夫，你的10公里怎么样了？那时我就得对10个人承认，我没有做到。

Oh, okay, you didn't do it. I want that to be my motivator. Maybe your motivator's internal. Maybe it's external, but find what motivates you and use those levers to generate action. You know, in your profession, a lot of the like with Dan Brown, a lot of it is he'll make you think that like we said earlier, like it's my right hand, but actually it's my left. Yep. I, how'd you contend with being someone whose job it is to sort of misdirect me to make me think it's my right hand at my left or whatever, but then also trying to give people information that will make them successful in their lives. Right.
哦，好吧，你没有做这件事。我希望这能成为我的动力。也许你的动力来自内心，也许来自外部，但找到能激励你的东西，并利用这些杠杆去促进行动。在你的职业中，很多时候就像丹·布朗一样，他会让你认为是右手，但其实是左手。是的。你如何处理这份工作呢？作为一个引导我误解的人，让我以为是右手而其实是左手的人，同时又试图提供能让人们在生活中取得成功的信息。对吧。

Well, the ethics of it. I'm not trying to sell you anything about being a mind reader or a mentalist. This is a separate pursuit. The skills surrounding everything I do, those skills, it's like how to win friends and influence people. It's a book I've read over and over and over. It's it's I don't want to say it's dated, but it's of a different era. The skills that allowed me to reach near the top of my profession aren't the tricks. There's other people that can do that. There's other people that can do this. There's other people that can guess your card. So what led me to here? Do I do it better than them? I'll let you decide that. My secrets to success are the exact same ones you can apply to your life. That's the key.
关于这件事的道德方面。我并不是在试图向你推销什么读心术或者心灵魔术。这是一个不同的追求。我所做的一切技能，就像《如何赢得朋友与影响他人》这本书中教授的技巧一样。这本书我读了一遍又一遍，我不想说它已经过时了，但它确实属于一个不同的时代。让我几乎在职业生涯中达到顶峰的技能并不是那些技巧。有其他人可以做到这点，还有其他人能猜出你的牌。那么是什么带我走到这一步的呢？我比他们做得更好吗？我让你来决定。我的成功秘诀与你的生活同样适用。这就是关键。

The fact that I've made it about them, not me. How have I been on all these TV shows? How have I had such a wide diversity? Has nothing to do with performing? It has to do with me turning the mirror around. The moment you realize that you will be successful in your life when you start making other people to star thinking about them, thinking about what's going on in their head, that's true mentalism. What are they thinking? And how do I deliver on that? How do I make them look good? How do I make them like me more? How do I win them over so that when the moment comes for them to recommend somebody or to give them a raise or do something, they know that you're the person that they think of first.
我之所以成功，是因为我把重点放在了他们身上，而不是我自己。为什么我能上这么多电视节目？为什么我能拥有如此多样的经历？这与表演无关，而在于我把镜子转向他人。你会发现，当你开始让别人关注他们自己、考虑他们在想什么的时候，你的人生就会走向成功，这才是真正的心灵感应。他们在想什么？我该如何满足他们的想法？如何让他们看起来更好？如何让他们更喜欢我？如何赢得他们的信任，以至于当需要推荐人选或加薪时，他们第一个想到的就是你。

And I think those skills, again, I wouldn't, it's not really mentalism, but it's the exact same tools that I use. It's not guessing numbers or names. It's knowing how to influence others. And if I wasn't able to influence people, none of the things I just did would work. You would just say, no, I'm not going to do that. On the skill of listening, which I think is also so important to what you're saying there about being like a couple and winning people over, do you have a system or a framework for being a great listener? You talk about it a little bit in the book in the end. I think you have five ways to become a better active listener. Yes. Can you run me through those? Sure.
我认为这些技能，其实我不太愿意称之为“心灵术”，但它们和我用的工具是相同的。这不是猜数字或姓名，而是了解如何影响他人。如果我不能影响人们，我做的那些事情就不会成功，因为他们会拒绝合作。至于聆听的技能，正如你所说，这对赢得他人的信任和理解对方都非常重要。你是否有一套系统或框架来成为一个出色的聆听者？你在书的结尾有提到一些内容，我记得你有介绍五种方法可以提升主动聆听能力。可以跟我讲讲这些方法吗？当然可以。

Should I give you a funny story? She kind of led this off, so I did a party for Steven Spielberg. It was his father's 99th birthday. It was pretty intimate affair. I was noticeably nervous in my mind, not for the performance, but to meet Steven Spielberg. So he defined an era of my childhood. And I feel like likely for a billion or several billion other people. So at the end of the show, he comes up to thank me. And I'm ready. I was able to ask Steven Spielberg, zero questions. Do you know why? He talked to me the whole time. He kept asking me questions, rapid fire, this and about my life and about what drove me in this. And I just wanted to keep being like, pause. I got questions for you. You're Steven Spielberg.
你想听一个有趣的故事吗？这个故事是关于我之前筹办的一场派对，为了庆祝史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格父亲的99岁生日。这是一个相当私密的聚会。我在心里非常紧张，不是因为表演，而是因为要见到史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格。他在我的童年时代有着举足轻重的影响，我相信对其他数十亿人也是如此。 演出结束后，他走过来感谢我。然后，我准备好问他问题，但我最终没能问出一个问题。你知道为什么吗？因为他一直在主动问我问题。他不停地快速提问，关于我的生活、关于我的动力等等。我心里一直想说：“等一下，我也有问题想问你。你可是史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格啊。”

He made it all about me, all about me. And I learned at that day that that it's a greater power to listen. And that the most interesting person in a room tends to be the most interested person in the room. And that some of the people I've seen that are the most successful, the most authentic and genuine. They will look you in the eye. They will lock in. They will not be looking around at other people. And they will give you their 100% undivided attention. And they will ask you questions that other people haven't asked you before. And I challenge you. Don't just do the normal question when you meet somebody. Oh, what do you do for living?
他让我成为了焦点，让一切围绕着我。那天我明白了，倾听是一种更大的力量。在一个房间里，最有趣的人往往是对他人最感兴趣的人。在我见过的一些最成功、最真实和最真诚的人中，他们会直视你的眼睛，全神贯注，他们不会四处张望，而是给予你百分之百的关注。他们会问一些别人从未问过你的问题。我鼓励你，不要在遇见某人时只问通常的问题，比如“你做什么工作？”

Oh, we as soon as we do that, we go into autopilot. I go into autopilot. And I'm not judging you. Most people do that, right? 50% of people have to be below average, right? And 49.9% are above average. That's inherently the fun. Challenge yourself to be the outlier. And think of a question you can ask someone if you have time to think of it in advance or in the moment that throws them out of autopilot that makes them think, wow, I haven’t really thought of that before. Asking questions that are not yes or no questions are also great. Ask questions that let them explore who they are. I think that's a big part of active listening.
哦，当我们一开始这样做时，就会进入自动驾驶模式。我也是进入自动驾驶模式。我没有评判你的意思，大多数人都会这样，对吧？毕竟50%的人必须低于平均水平，49.9%的人高于平均水平。这本身就是有趣的地方。挑战自己成为那个异类。想一个问题，如果你有时间提前思考或者在当下思考的问题，可以让对方跳出自动驾驶状态，让他们想：哇，我之前真的没考虑过这个。提出那些不是简单是或不是的问题也很不错。提出能让他们探索自己身份的问题。我认为这是积极倾听的重要部分。

And I let the audience guide me to what's of interest to them. When we walked in here today, I said to think of a favorite of a category. If I knew the category, would I be able to guess what the answer was? No. What is the question? You know what? Tell it to me. I don't even want to write anything down. I want you to just say it out loud. Give me the question. What is the question that you have defined the answer to? Give me that question. Ask it to me. What is my favorite? Car.
我会让观众引导我，了解他们感兴趣的话题。今天走进这里的时候，我请大家先想一个自己喜欢的类别。如果我知道这个类别，我能猜出答案是什么吗？不能。那么，这个问题是什么？你知道吗？告诉我吧。我甚至不想写下来，我希望你直接说出来。把问题告诉我。你给出的答案对应的问题是什么？问我吧。你最喜欢的是什么？车。

What is my favorite car? Yeah. And you think there's no way I could know that. No prior research could have alerted me to it. No prior research. No. You decide the same way that you do with jewels. I want you to think of the name of the car, whether it's the brand, whether it's the make. And I want you to pick one letter out from anywhere from from I'm assuming it's more than one word unless you just said forward. Again, I don't want to lead you. But if it is more than one word, and if it's two, three, four words, decide on one of the words. Have you decided on one of the words? Yeah.
你最喜欢的车是什么？对。你可能觉得我不可能知道这个信息，因为我事先没有做过任何调查，没有提前研究。 你就像选珠宝一样地选择。我希望你想到这个车的名字，无论是品牌，还是型号。我希望你从中挑选一个字母，我假设这不仅仅是一个字，除非你只是说“福特”。我不想误导你。如果车名有两个、三个或四个词，请决定其中一个词。你已经选好一个词了吗？对。

Okay. Okay. One of the words. Don't say another word. Now, see, just saying that was interesting. Decide on one of the words. Yeah. And pick one of the letters. Something interesting to you. Grab the one letter and just focus on that one letter. Yeah. You have it. Yeah. Now you ask me. You said, it's all misdirection, right? The eye movements that this all just window dressing, but you just gave something away. You said, one of the words with a question because you were confused. You didn't know what to do if it was only one word. I would never have said that if it was three words. Why would it be one of the words? Of course, it's one of the words. So you did one. And then I think this one went through your head. You read, you went to last, did you think of the last letter of it? No. Okay. So that would have been my first guess. But now that you didn't, I'm going to go back. Are you thinking of the letter? Why? No. Wasarati, Ferrari, Lamborghini. It's not like you. Close your eyes. Open your eyes. I've written it down. I can't change my mind. What car is it? It's my cyber truck. It is your cyber truck. That's what I thought it would be. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking of the letter T. T. I didn't originally think of why. You did. Yeah, and then I moved to T.
好的。好的。选一个词。不要再说其他词。现在，看，只是说这个就很有趣。决定一个词。对，然后选其中一个字母。选择一个你感兴趣的字母。抓住那个字母，只专注于那个字母。是的，你有了。是的。现在你问我。你说这都是迷惑，对吧？眼睛的运动只是掩饰，但你还是透露了一点信息。你说“其中一个词”，带着疑问，因为你困惑了。如果是一个词你会不知道怎么做。如果是三个词我就不会这样说。为什么只说“其中一个词”呢？当然是其中的一个。所以你选择了一个。然后我觉得这个想法出现在你的脑海里。你读到了，想到了最后一个字母吗？没有吗。好吧，那本来是我的第一个猜测。但既然不是，那我再回去。你想到的是字母Y吗？不是吗？玛莎拉蒂，法拉利，兰博基尼。这不像你。闭上眼睛。睁开眼睛。我已经写下来了。我不能改变主意。是什么车？是我的网络卡车。是你的网络卡车。我就知道是它。是的，是的，我想到的是字母T。我最开始没有想到Y。是的，然后我转到了T。

Yeah. If I got it right every time, it would be a magic show. So sometimes when you perform, things must go wrong sometimes. It depends like what level they go wrong at what scale. Yeah. If it goes destructively, like catastrophically wrong, it's not always good. Tell me a time when it went catastrophically wrong. Oh, so you can dig up all TV appearances from 15 years ago where just purely, I started learning that if you do something linear, which is if I show you my hand and tell you where this is going, then you have the power. What do I mean by that? If I said, I'm going to guess this and then I get it wrong, then you know, I got it wrong. What if you don't know the ending of the movie? Then if I show you an alternate ending, you don't know that the movie wasn't supposed to end that way. So I learned early on that I'm not going to let you hold the cards. I hold the cards. So when you, even the notion of get it wrong, means you knew what making it getting it right was. Does that make sense?
好的。如果我每次都做对，那就像一场魔术表演了。所以，有时候在表演中，事情可能会出错。其程度或规模取决于出错的层次。如果出错的情况很严重，比如说灾难性地出错，那就不太好了。告诉我一次出错得很严重的经历吧。哦，你可以搜一下我15年前上电视节目的视频，在那段时间我开始意识到，如果做线性的事情，比如说我展示我的手并告诉你结局是什么，那你就掌握了主动权。我这是什么意思呢？如果我说我要猜测某件事情，然后结果错了，那你就知道我出错了。但如果你不知道电影的结局呢？如果我给你看一个不同的结局，你就不知道电影本来不是这样结束的。所以我很早就学会了不要让你掌握主动权，而是我掌握主动权。所以，甚至"出错"的这个概念意味着你已经知道了什么是"做对"。这样解释清楚了吗？

Yeah. But what if you don't know what getting it right was because I'm doing so many different things at once that I will eventually find a way to get it right. You see what I mean? Yeah. And have you learned any ways to break the ice in social situations? I think you talk about, you do talk about this a little bit in the book, but one of the ways that you talked about is object, sort of handling the objection that you're assuming one has approaching from a different angle. But just generally in life when you meet these people and you're trying to disarm people. Yes. Is there anything else that is worth knowing now that people can use for their inner really lives? I like having an inner monologue out loud. So I like to take things that I know everyone is thinking and open up, show some vulnerability.
是啊。但是如果你不知道达到正确结果的标准是什么，因为我同时在做很多不同的事情，总会找到一种方法来做到正确。你明白我的意思吗？对了，你有没有学过任何在社交场合中打破僵局的方法？我想你在书中谈到过一些这些内容，其中一种方法是应对你假设别人会有的反对意见，从不同的角度切入。不过，在日常生活中，当你遇到这些人，并试图让对方放松时，有没有其他值得我们学习的方法呢？ 我喜欢把我的内心独白说出来。我喜欢揭示那些我知道大家心里都在想的事情，表现出一些脆弱。这种方式能帮助在人际交往中建立联系。

So a great way. You're in an uncomfortable social setting. What do you want to do? You want to shut down? You want to be here? I think walking up to somebody has a real power and say, I'm so nervous. I don't know anyone here. Do you know anyone here? Like that moment of opening yourself up. And I don't want to call it over sharing because some people take that to too much of a degree and start, you don't tell you too much. But showing that you are a real person and vulnerable, I think just, it's a it's a magical quality. And I've had people that do it to me that you gain an intimacy and a familiarity with them very quickly that you would love if we were just small talking each other. Have you ever met those people that have that instant charisma that when they walk in the room, everyone gravitates towards them? And you don't know what that is. What is that quality they have? Did they train it? Is it innate? Are they born with it?
所以，这真是个不错的方法。你处在一个不太舒服的社交环境中。你想做什么？你想封闭自己，还是想融入其中？我觉得走到一个人面前，并坦诚地说：“我感到很紧张，我不认识这里的任何人。你认识这里的人吗？”这样的自我敞开是有力量的。我不想称之为过度分享，因为有些人可能会分享太多。但展示自己是一个真实且有脆弱面的人，我觉得这是一种神奇的特质。我遇到过那些对我这么做的人，瞬间就拉近了彼此的距离，建立了亲密感和熟悉感，比单纯的小聊要有趣得多。你有没有遇到过那些一进房间就能吸引所有人注意力的人？你不知道他们有什么让人吸引的特质。是他们通过训练得来的吗？还是与生俱来的？

For me, I didn't have that. So I cheated. And started doing magic tricks. I remember Jimmy Car saying to me that, you know, people think comedians depressed, whatever. But he said a better question to ask is always who are you trying to cheer up? Right. And I wonder if that's relevant at all to your situation. I think I was trying to connect with people. Yeah. I think that I was nervous, a little bit awkward. I wasn't introverted. I had no problem walking up to strangers. But I think that it became this just this addiction to watching people being amazed and overjoyed in the reactions. I live for the reactions. Some people that do magic, they do it for themselves. In a guilty way, I kind of do as well because there is a selfish angle to seeing reactions. But to me, it's more the joy.
对我来说，我并没有那样的天赋。所以我用了一点小技巧，开始表演魔术。我记得吉米·卡尔曾对我说，人们总以为喜剧演员会抑郁什么的，但他觉得一个更好的问题是：你试图让谁开心呢？我想知道这能否与你的情况相关。我想，我是试图与人们建立联系。我有些紧张，有点不知所措，但我不是内向的人，我与陌生人交流没有问题。但这后来变成了对观看人们惊讶和喜悦反应的痴迷。我为了这些反应而活。表演魔术的人，有些是为了自己而做的。坦率地说，我这样做也有自私的一面，因为我喜欢这样的反应。但对我来说，更重要的是那份快乐。

And to this day, what I like to say that I do for a living is not to see if my job is not to fool you. My job is to create memorable moments. Not amazing moments. Amazing is a subset memorable because if I am a you and you forget it, I have failed. I failed. It's the same as if I walk into a movie that's an action movie. I ate a lot of popcorn. I walk out 10 minutes later. You've said me, what was the movie about? I don't know. Right. That I don't know. And a month later, you asked me, have you seen that movie? And I go, did I see that movie? That right there, that response is the death for what I do. Apathy.
直到今天，我都喜欢这样描述我的工作：我的职责不是欺骗你，而是创造难忘的时刻，而不是令人惊叹的时刻。因为令人惊叹只是难忘中的一部分。如果我吸引了你的注意力，但你却忘了它，那我就失败了。这就像我走进一家动作电影的影院，吃了很多爆米花，然后走出来。十分钟后有人问我，电影讲的是什么？我答不上来。然后一个月后你又问我，你看过那部电影吗？我会想，我看过吗？这种反应对我来说是致命的，是我工作最大的失败：冷漠。

And in the book in page 166, she talks about improving one's memory. Yes. What do I need to know? Why does it matter to improve my memory? And in what way does improving my memory help me to connect with other people? So we've got to the point where we don't need our memory, right? A lot of people don't know how to drive to a place a city next door. They literally, if GPS went out, good luck, right? You don't know anyone's phone numbers. How many of you have phone numbers? Do you have memorized? A few and far between. One. Exactly. Tomorrow, your iPhone goes away. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, cloud. You're screwed. You're screwed. Am I right? If you can't get that back, your life is, so what do we need our memory for?
在书中的第166页，她谈到了如何改善记忆力。是的。我需要知道些什么？为什么改善记忆力很重要？改善记忆力如何帮助我与他人建立联系？我们已经到了一个不太依赖记忆的地步，对吗？很多人不知道怎么开车去隔壁城市。真的是，如果GPS坏了，就祝你好运吧，对不对？大家都记住多少个电话号码？大概很少有吧。一个？没错。明天，你的iPhone没了。没有，没有，没有，没有，没有，没有，云端备份。你就麻烦了。没错吧？如果你不能把那些信息找回来，你的生活就会受影响。那么，我们到底需要记忆力做什么呢？

I think memory is a superpower because no one expects you to have it anymore. Years ago, you need now, you don't. So I'm going to give a great example. One that I have in my book, which is something applicable where you can't cheat. Cheat is, I have my phone and I feel a lot of us whether we're parents or kids or teens or any stage of life you are, you're going to meet new people at some point soon. You meet them, you shake their hand, you say hello, you just forgot their name. Literally, they just said it to you and you forgot it. How many times has this occurred to you? I'm guessing numerous.
我认为记忆力是一种超级能力，因为现在没有人期望你具备它。多年前你可能需要记忆力，但现在不需要。因此，我要分享一个很好的例子，这是我书中的内容，而且是无法作弊的情境。所谓的作弊就是，我有手机，我觉得很多人，包括父母、孩子或青少年，无论你处于生命的哪个阶段，都会在某个时候遇到新的人。你见到他们，握手问好，然后立刻忘记了他们的名字。他们刚刚告诉你的名字就被你忘掉了。这样的情况发生过多少次？我猜想，你一定遇到过很多次。

And now you can enjoy that conversation because all you do is feel dread. Now you're looking for someone around that you know to introduce them and pray to God, you go, this is Stephen, say hello. Tell them your name, you want that moment. So I have a trick, a tip for that specific situation, as well as others for memory. But I've repurposed the instructions on a shampoo bottle. So it sticks in your head. Shampoo bottles have three words on the back. Lather rinse repeat, right? Lather makes your hair smell good. Rinse, cleanse your hair, repeat. We got to sell more panting pro v. So we all know that. Everyone knows Lather rinse repeat.
现在你可以享受这段对话，因为你感到不安。你在寻找周围认识的人，想介绍他们并祈祷：“这是Stephen，说声你好。告诉他们你的名字。”你想要那一刻。所以我有一个针对这种情况的小诀窍，同样适用于记忆力方面。我改编了洗发水瓶子上的说明，这样就能记住。洗发水瓶子的背面有三个词：抹上、冲洗、重复，对吧？抹上让你的头发闻起来好，冲洗把头发洗干净，重复是为了卖出更多产品。所以我们都知道这点。每个人都知道抹上、冲洗、重复。

I will describe it as this. Listen, repeat, reply. Listen, repeat, reply. So easy. The first step sounds silly. It's comical. Why am I even saying this? The first step is what 95% of us do wrong. We don't actually listen. When you hear that person's name, it's not a memory issue. You never even knew the name to begin with because right when you walked up to them, just like a computer read, right? Very hard to read and write at the same time for our brains. You were thinking something else. You were thinking of what you were going to say back to them in most instances. So at that moment, the number one thing to do is actually listen. Quiet your mind.
我会这样描述：听、重复、回应。听、重复、回应。太简单了。第一步听起来有点傻，甚至有些滑稽。为什么我要这么说？因为95%的人第一步就做错了。我们没有真正地去听。当你听到那个人的名字，这并不是记忆的问题。你一开始就从没记住那个名字，因为刚走到他们面前的时候，就像电脑读取一样，对吗？我们的脑子很难同时读取和写入。你当时在想其他的事情，多数情况下是在想要如何回应他们。所以，此时此刻，最重要的事情就是要真正地去听，静下心来。

So simple, so easy, but that's where we screw up. Right when I walked up to you, I make sure that I've heard your name because I instantly repeat it twice. Steven is it Steve or Steven? I want to make sure. I've just said your name three times already. Your chance of forgetting have gone down dramatically. The last one is reply, which is use one of the three following tactics. One, you could learn how to spell it. You have a name that can be spelled. So I go, is it Steven with a V or a pH? And you with a V, I go, I like Steven with a V better. That's the right way. Am I right?
如此简单，如此容易，但这恰恰是我们搞砸的地方。就在我走向你的时候，我确保听到了你的名字，因为我会立刻重复两遍。是Steven还是Steve？我想确认一下。我已经说了三次你的名字了，你忘记的几率大大降低。最后一个策略是回应，你可以使用以下三种战术之一。首先，你可以学会怎么拼写它。你有一个可以拼写的名字。比如我会问，是Steven用V还是pH？如果你回答是用V，我就会说，我更喜欢用V拼写的Steven，那才是对的，对吧？

So now I've associated it Steven with a V. If it's not a name like that, if it's Jacob, you're not going to spell that. I'm going to say to you, I might comment. I go, Jacob, I love that shirt. Where'd you get that from? The V next, Jacob, really sharp. So now I've created a visual hook. You're Jacob with the V next shirt. Now I remember you. Third one is if you want, you can do something that's a connector to someone else you know. So if I know it, Steven, it's so funny. You know, my sister's dating guy named Steven, small world.
好的，现在我把名字 "Steven" 和 "V" 关联在一起。如果名字不是这样的，比如是 "Jacob"，我不会那样拼写。我可能会对你说，比如 "Jacob，我很喜欢那件衬衫，你在哪里买的？" 然后加上 "V" 字母，比如 "Jacob，那件V领衫真不错。" 这样我就创造了一个视觉记忆点，你是"穿V领衫的Jacob"，我就能记住你了。第三种方法，如果你愿意，你可以通过与其他人建立联系来记住某个人。如果我认识一个叫Steven的人，我可以说：“真有趣，我妹妹在和一个叫Steven的人约会，世界真小。”

So you've really quickly connected it. That happens in five seconds, what I just said. Everyone likes a compliment. Everyone likes a hook. You will not forget that person's name for the rest of the party. I promise you. And this works on people of all ages. It's not a memory issue. If you can remember your best friend's name, you can remember the name of somebody you met at a party after five seconds if you practice and do exactly what I just said.
所以你很快就记住了这个名字。这只需要五秒钟，正如我刚才所说。每个人都喜欢得到赞美和关注。在聚会的剩余时间里，你一定不会忘记那个人的名字。我向你保证。这对各个年龄段的人都有效。这不是记忆力的问题。如果你能记住好朋友的名字，只要练习和运用我刚才提到的方法，你在聚会上遇到的人，哪怕只用了五秒钟，也能记住他们的名字。

And I think a huge part of it as someone that does meet a lot of people is you go into the meetings with people. And because you don't really think the small stuff matters, you don't think most people don't think someone's name matters that much. They think they're walking into the presentation, they're pitching for a million dollars, they're thinking about the campaign, they're thinking about how they're going to structure the offer. They're not thinking about the name being pertinent. So you walk in, you shake hands, hi, Deborah, nice to meet you, Deborah, you walked your chair, you're still thinking about the campaign, the campaign, and within three minutes you've lost their name.
我认为，对于一个经常与人会面的人来说，很大一部分原因是因为在会议时，大多数人不认为小事情重要。例如，大多数人不认为对方的名字有多重要。他们走进会议室，想着要展示价值百万的项目，计划如何进行活动，如何设计提案等等，而不是想着对方名字的重要性。你走进房间，握手说：“你好，Deborah，很高兴见到你，Deborah。”然后坐下时，心里依然在思索活动的细节。三分钟之后，你就忘了对方的名字。

And I do think it really has a huge impact when I was reading your book, I was thinking like, do you know what? I don't do a good job of that. I meet loads of people all the time. I walk up, I say my name, they say theirs. For me, that's not important information. Right. And I thought, you know, until you get it wrong. And then that's the memory they carry of you. I would say to people, if you don't know someone's name, we think that it's a dreadful thing to ask them again. It's an avoidable thing with this, but I would still say that you're still showing interest.
我确实认为你的书对我有很大的影响。当我在读你的书时，我在想，你知道吗？我在这方面做得不太好。我经常见到很多人，我会走上前去介绍自己的名字，他们也会说他们的名字。但对我来说，这些信息并不重要。然后我意识到，直到你记错他们的名字，那就是他们对你的记忆。我会告诉大家，如果你不知道某人的名字，我们通常觉得再次询问是件很糟糕的事。其实这完全可以避免，但我仍然认为这样做能显示出你对对方的关注。

And there's a few tactics around it, but they forgive me. But I really would like to know, I don't know why it's slipped my mind. Tell me your name again, please. I think even that is a much better way to play it because again, you're human, they're human, everyone's vulnerable. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. So I'm okay with letting people know that there's a human side and humanize it. And sometimes if I can figure it out, I will. But I'll say, give me a clue and I go, help me out. Some of you are just like, oh, my God.
有一些方法可以应对这种情况，但他们原谅了我。不过我真的很想知道，我不知道为什么这事从我脑海中溜走了。请再告诉我你的名字。我认为这样做要好得多，因为说到底你是人，他们也是人，每个人都有脆弱的一面。我觉得这没有什么不好。所以我很乐于让别人知道人性的一面，让事情更贴近人性。如果我能想起来就会去努力回忆，但有时我会说，给我一点提示，帮帮我。有些人可能会觉得，“哎哟，我的天哪。”

And sometimes I have a memory hook and I'll remember who introduced us. I go, oh, I met you through Stephen. I've had so many founders speak to me and say, why didn't this particular ad that I ran on this platform work for me? Maybe the copy wasn't good, the creative wasn't strong, but usually the problem is they're not having the right conversation because that ad never reached the right person. And if you're in B2B marketing, that is much of the game. And this is where LinkedIn ads solves that problem for you. Their targeting is ridiculously specific.
有时候，我会有一个记忆的触发点，从而记起是谁把我们介绍到一起的。我会想起，哦，是通过史蒂芬认识你的。有很多创业者跟我说，为什么他们在某个平台上投放的广告没有效果。也许是文案不好，也许是创意不够吸引人，但通常问题在于没有找到合适的交流对象，因为那个广告根本没有传达到正确的人群。如果你在做B2B营销，这是非常关键的一点。而这一点上，LinkedIn广告可以帮你解决问题。它的定向功能极其精确。

You can target by job title, seniority, company size, industry, and even someone's skillset. And then network includes over a billion professionals, about 130 million of them are decision makers. So when you use LinkedIn ads, you're putting your brand in front of the right people. And LinkedIn ads also drive the highest B2B return on ad spend across all ad networks and my experience. If you want to give them a try, head over to LinkedIn.com slash diary. And when you spend $250 on your first LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an extra $250 credit from me for the next one.
你可以根据职位、资历、公司规模、行业，甚至某人的技能组来进行定位。LinkedIn 有超过十亿的专业人士，其中约有1.3亿是决策者。因此，使用 LinkedIn 广告可以让您的品牌出现在合适的人面前。而且，根据我的经验，LinkedIn 广告在所有广告网络中带来了最高的 B2B 广告支出回报率。如果你想尝试，可以访问 LinkedIn.com/diary。当你在第一次 LinkedIn 广告活动中花费250美元时，我会为你下一次额外提供250美元的广告信用额度。

That's LinkedIn.com slash diary, terms and conditions apply. Just give me 15 seconds to explain how you can build a viable business online. The people I see winning in life don't have a perfect plan. They just take the first step and then the next and then they keep going. They stay obsessed and they stay consistent. And Stan store a platform I co-own and one of our sponsors is the best first step to help turn your knowledge into income. It only takes a couple of minutes to launch your business and start selling digital products, coaching, memberships, or communities online without any tech headaches or endless setup.
这是 LinkedIn.com 斜杠 diary，适用条款和条件。我只需15秒钟向你解释如何在线建立一个可行的生意。在我看来，那些在生活中取得成功的人并没有完美的计划，他们只是迈出第一步，然后继续前进。他们保持专注，并始终如一。我共同拥有的平台 Stan store 是我们的一位赞助商，也是帮助你将知识转化为收入的最佳第一步。只需几分钟，你就可以启动自己的业务，开始在线销售数字产品、提供辅导、建立会员制或社区，不需要技术上的烦恼或无休止的设置。

Thousands of entrepreneurs creators and risk takers use Stan to take control of their future because Stan is for entrepreneurs for those willing to put in the work and bet on themselves. If you're ready to start building, join us. Launch your business today with a free 14-day trial at stevenbartlett.stan.store. And what else should we should my audience know about? You're someone that focuses on the audience. What else should they know about that you think can directly improve their life?
成千上万的企业家、创作者和冒险者使用Stan来掌控自己的未来，因为Stan是为那些愿意努力工作并相信自己的人而设的。如果你准备开始创业，就加入我们吧。现在在stevenbartlett.stan.store注册，享受14天的免费试用期。还有什么是观众应该知道的？作为一个以观众为中心的人，你认为还有什么信息能直接改善他们的生活？

I mean, I've given you a lot of like the core tenets that I think have made me successful, which is eliminating that fear of rejection, utilizing notes, making it about other people. I think wrapping things up in a story is a huge one that we touched upon lightly. But that- Why why a story? Because stories are remembered. Stories are interwoven into our DNA. Each of us have a story to tell. I think such a big one is deciding what makes you memorable.
我给你分享了很多让我成功的核心原则，比如消除对拒绝的恐惧、利用便条、关注他人。我认为用故事来收尾是一个非常重要的技巧，我们之前也稍微提到过。为什么要用故事呢？因为故事容易被记住，故事与我们的基因紧密相连。每个人都有属于自己的故事要讲述。我觉得另一重要因素就是决定什么让你难以忘记。

The more that you can become memorable to others, the more people talk about you, it benefits you no matter what you do in life. When you meet somebody, know that you're going to weave the narrative of what they leave, what they think of you. Right? You have to kind of- their memory is malleable. There's a trick I used to do when I was a teenager where I would have somebody pick a card. It was a card trick. They would put the card back in. They would sign it. I would throw it on the ceiling. It's- The deck would fall down, but their signed card stayed stuck on the ceiling. But when they described the procedure back to someone else, they would leave out the part with me throwing the deck. Why did they forget such an important detail? And I couldn't understand why.
当你能够给他人留下深刻印象时，人们谈论你的次数就会越多，这无论你在人生中做什么都会对你有好处。当你遇到某人时，要知道你正在编织一个关于他们如何看待你的故事。对吧？他们的记忆是可以改变的。我在青少年时期常常用一个小把戏：我会让某人选一张牌，然后把牌放回去，并让他们在上面签名。接着，我会把牌扔到天花板上，整副牌会掉下来，但他们签过名的那张牌却会一直粘在天花板上。但是，当他们把这个过程描述给别人听时，他们常常会漏掉我扔牌的那部分。我不明白为什么这么重要的细节他们竟然会忘记。

It's not that their memory was faulty; something happened. I realized what it was. What I put my attention on, they put their attention on. Like everything in life. If you're focused on the negative, you start to feel negative. I, when I threw the deck up, sometimes wouldn't look up with it. I would throw the deck up. I wouldn't look and then I'd catch it such a small, my new detail. But me doing that meant I caught the deck. No one knew what happened. And I let them look up and discover the card themselves rather than me do it. Somehow in that in their brain, they deleted that one detail of me throwing the deck. And now I had a miracle. And that changed my way of thinking from there on out, which I said to myself, it doesn't matter what I do. It matters what people remember and what's the story they tell others.
他们的记忆并没有出错，是发生了一些事情。我意识到了是什么。我的注意力所在，也就成了他们的关注点。生活中的一切都是这样。如果你专注于负面，你就会开始感到负面。有时候，我在抛起纸牌时不会抬头看。我抛起纸牌，不看，然后再接住。这是一个极小的细节。但我这样做，就能接住纸牌。没有人知道发生了什么。我让他们自己抬头去找那张卡，而不是我来做。在他们的脑海中，他们删除了我抛起纸牌的那个细节。现在，我就有了一个“奇迹”。这改变了我的思维方式，我对自己说，重要的不是我做了什么，而是人们记住了什么，以及他们向别人讲述了怎样的故事。

The thing I really learnt from that is that your focus is driving someone else's focus. So when I'm, you know, when I'm going through my life, I need to make sure my focus is in the right place, the place that I want you to be. And I noticed that sometimes as a podcast, because obviously, so I'm trying to manage this conversation and I've got these notes written in front of me. I've got pens, books, props. I've got a little net under front of me that has photos in it and other bits and pieces and all this stuff. And I do notice that during the podcast conversation, if I don't look up at the guest and I start looking down a little bit or even if I'm just looking down to see my next bullet point or to think about something, right, I distract the guest.
我从中真正学到的是，你的注意力会影响到别人的注意力。因此，当我过自己的生活时，我需要确保自己的关注点放在正确的位置，也就是我希望你关注的地方。我注意到有时候在录制播客的时候，因为显然，我在试图管理对话，并且我的面前摆满了笔记、笔、本、道具，还有一个小网兜，里面有照片和其他一些东西。在播客对话过程中，我发现如果我不抬头看嘉宾而是低头看点什么，或者即使只是低头看下一个要点或者思考一些事情，我就会分散嘉宾的注意力。

But it also in everyday life, the other thing that I think we're all guilty of and you talk about this in your book is we sometimes reach for our phone a little bit. Right. Your card story, that's what it said to me. It said that, oh my god, people's focus really is where your focus is. So if I'm having a great conversation with you and you're a client or something and I just glanced my watch, you just did it then with me again, you just glanced down at my hand. Right. And I never realized until you said that card thing, how important it was to make sure my focus is in the right place. Your focus is in the right place, but also know the fact that your memory is malleable.
在日常生活中，我认为我们都有一个小习惯，就是会不自觉地拿起手机。你的书中提到了这个问题。在卡片故事中，我体会到了一点：人们的注意力实际上反映了他们的关注点。因此，当我和你进行一场精彩的谈话时，比如说你是我的客户，如果我只是瞥了一眼我的手表，你就注意到了，你刚刚就又看了一下我的手。直到你提到那个卡片故事，我才意识到把注意力放在正确的地方有多么重要。你的注意力落在了正确的地方，同时也要认识到记忆是可以改变的。

So in my profession, I employ all different tactics. I can tell you one is confusion. Your brain is very difficult for your brain to read and write at the same time. So if I wanted to distract you from a method and I confuse you, then it's exactly like an etch sketch. Maybe you've drawn a picture and the moment you get confused and you forget what you just did exactly and the etch sketch has just been shaken. And now you can't recount the series of events properly. And at that moment, you've now created this beautiful watercolor painting that hasn't dried. I can move some of the pieces around and I can redraw your picture a little bit and I can change your memory of what it is.
在我的职业里，我使用各种不同的策略。我可以告诉你其中一种策略是制造混淆。大脑很难同时进行读和写这两种活动。所以，如果我想让你忽略某个方法，我就会让你感到困惑。这样就像一个被摇晃的画板(Etch A Sketch)，可能你刚刚画了一幅画，但一旦迷惑就会忘记你刚做过什么，这就像画板被摇晃了一样。现在你无法正确回忆事件的顺序。在这一刻，你创造了一幅美丽的水彩画，但它还未干透。我可以稍微移动一些部分，重新绘制你的画面，并且可以改变你对它的记忆。

I, during certain points when I'm performing, and this has to do when you talked about public speaking and storytelling, I tell you the story that you're going to tell others and I take out the pieces I want out. I want this gone. I want this gone. I want this gone. I'm going to edit your memories. Give me a specific example. Well, that's that's a nature of what I do. So in a certain routine, again, what I would ask someone, if I asked somebody to think of someone important to them. And then later on, I guess the name of their first kiss. They will forget how the question was orchestrated, how I set up the initial ask and what happened during the initial ask.
在某些表演时段，我会根据你提到的公开演讲和讲故事，告诉你一个你将讲给别人的故事，我会挑出我想要的部分，并去掉我不想要的。这个不要，这个也不要，我要删除你的记忆。举个具体的例子就是，在某个流程中，我可能会要求某人想起一个对他们很重要的人。然后稍后，我猜出他们初吻对象的名字。他们会忘记我是如何设置这个问题的，以及最初提问时发生的事情。这就是我的工作本质。

And then the story they will tell to someone else is, I don't know how but he guessed my first kiss. Now, when they tell that story, he goes, he told me to think of anyone and I thought of my first kiss and he guessed it. What if I didn't? What if I narrowed it down and I actually told you to think of your first kiss? But the initial question was think of anyone and see all those people swirling around your mind. And then one person came up to you and see since elementary school, first girl, you ever kissed your blown away.
然后，他们会告诉别人的故事是：“我不知道他是怎么做到的，但他猜出了我的初吻。” 现在，当他们讲述这个故事时，他们会说：“他让我随便想一个人，我想到了我的初吻，他居然猜到了。” 可是如果我没猜到呢？如果我其实是引导你想到你的初吻呢？但最初的问题只是让你随便想一个人，而这些人在你脑海中回旋。然后，有一个人浮现在你的脑海中，自小学起，你曾初吻过的第一个女孩，你被彻底震惊了。

Now the people that watched it have also seen a different effect. It's known as a dual reality. The reality one person experiences is different than the other. Right. If you walk in to a conversation in the middle, you don't know the context, but you know the ending. So I am using that because again, when you tell me the methods of mentalism, mentalism is all about group dynamics the way people think. If I was performing for you in a group, it would be utterly different and completely easier.
现在，看过这个表演的人也看到了一种不同的效果。这被称为双重现实。一个人所体验的现实可能和另一个人不一样。对吧。如果你中途加入一场对话，你不清楚前因后果，但你知道结局。所以我用这个来说明，当你说到心灵感应的手法时，心灵感应完全是关于群体动态和人们的思维方式。如果我在一个群体中为你表演，那将会是完全不同且更加容易的。

This one on one interaction is far more difficult because I have no lanes to weave around. It's like if I was passing you in a car on a four lane highway, I've got space right now. You and me are locked in. It's very difficult for me to use others because the way you feel it next to someone else, you'll behave differently than by yourself. And you're someone that you know started doing this at a very young age and has developed and evolved their skills at over time. And so you've got five kids and I'm wondering how important you think obsession is to get to the very top.
这种一对一的交流要困难得多，因为我没有可以绕行的空间。这就像在一条四车道的高速公路上，我开车从你身边经过时，还有足够的空间。然而，现在只有你和我，很难借助他人的影响力。在你身边有其他人的情况下，你的表现会和独自一个人时不同。而你是那种从很小的时候就开始这样做，并在过程中不断发展和提高自己技能的人。所以我想知道，在你养育五个孩子的过程中，你认为对某件事的痴迷对于达到最高水平究竟有多重要。

You've got into the blessing. It's a blessing. If somebody can find an obsession. You've got to the top of an industry where very few people get to the top of. And even if they do, they don't end up on the biggest platforms in the world. So thinking about the characteristics of your success, for this kid it was obviously obsession was a huge part of that, right? Yes. How old were you in this photo? Probably 14. Probably right when I started a restaurant. That looks 14 to me. Okay. 14 then and you're 43 now. That's right. So you've been doing this decades and decades and decades. The majority of my life.
你已经获得了祝福。这是一种祝福。如果有人能找到一种痴迷，那就是一种祝福。你在一个极少有人能达到顶峰的行业中达到了顶峰。即使有人做到了，他们往往也不会在世界上最大的舞台上展示出来。所以，当我们思考你成功的特质时，显然对于这个孩子来说，痴迷是一个很重要的部分，对吧？是的。你在这张照片里多少岁？大概14岁。大概就是我开始在餐馆工作的年纪。看起来确实像14岁。好吧，14岁，当时而你现在43岁。没错。所以你已经做了几十年。这是我生命中绝大部分时间。

How important do you think that is to reach the top of any industry? I don't know if I would say the time matters as much because I've seen people that are phenoms in much in much like more compressed times. I don't want to say that you need your 30 years. Passion. The people that excite me the most to be around in my life. The people that I look up to and I'm on the edge of my seat always have a passion. I don't care what that's for. I don't care if you are a trash man and your obsession is trash. Something that I would never think about.
你认为在任何行业中达到顶尖有多重要？我不确定时间是否真的那么重要，因为我见过一些人能在很短的时间内展现出非凡的才能。并不是说一定要有30年的资历。真正打动我、让我敬佩的人以及让我坐立不安的人，都有着激情。我不在乎他们对什么充满热情。即使你是个清洁工，而你的热情是垃圾，虽然这可能是我从未想过的领域。

I've met so many people where they have a topic that meant nothing to me at the moment. But once I start speaking to them, their level of excitement, their feeling, the fact that they're so invested makes me feel invested. But to hone your skills to the point that you can reach the peak of a mountain, I'm speaking to someone called DJ EZ and he was saying to me he spent seven hours a day. He's a great DJ and when I watch him, it's like watching a magician play the decks and he said to me he spends seven hours a day, sometimes listening to 700 different new tracks a day, just listening to 20 seconds of each.
我遇到过很多人，他们讨论的话题当时对我来说毫无意义。但是，一旦我开始和他们交谈，就会被他们的热情、情感以及投入程度所感染，使我自己也感到投入。要磨练技能到达顶峰，我与一位名叫DJ EZ的人交流过。他告诉我，他每天花七个小时，有时候一天要听700首新的音乐，每首只听20秒。他是一位优秀的DJ，当我观看他表演时，就像在看魔法师操控唱盘一样。

And I don't think people often get to see that level of obsession. They see people sat here, but they don't get to see all the messy journey to here. I think it's important show them what that messy journey to here looks like because then they can decide for themselves in their own life if whatever thing they're pursuing is worth the trade. Like is it worth it to sit here and to be who you are now for like that? You say worth it is if it's a negative thing.
我觉得人们往往看不到那种程度的执着。他们看到的是人们坐在这里，但看不到到达这里过程中那些混乱的历程。我认为展示这个过程中混乱的部分很重要，因为这样他们可以在自己的生活中判断，他们追求的东西是否值得这样的付出。就像是，坐在这里，成为现在的你，是否值得？你说值得的时候，好像是在说这个事是负面的。

I think it gave a definition to my life. I think that to have a passion is something so few of us, I've hit the lottery in life. I get to meet interesting people. I get to bring joy. I get to live my dream. Everything I do is of my own volition. I don't even know how I'd complain for a NaioDA of a second. I've won the lottery times the lottery times the lottery. It's not even my profession.
我认为它为我的生活赋予了意义。我觉得拥有一种热情是一件很少人能够拥有的幸运，我在生活中中了头彩。我能遇到有趣的人，带给别人快乐，实现自己的梦想。我所做的一切都是出自我的意愿。我甚至不知道哪怕是一瞬间该如何抱怨。我赢得了无数次的幸运。这甚至不是我的职业。

I have a mindset where I could die tomorrow. Everybody who doesn't think that way that you don't have gratitude for today is I don't know, I'm a natural optimist. I just think that. But I mean, what does that actually look like? Because no one was there to see those 30, 20, 30 years. How much work was there? And is it like you were doing it part-time? Is it free time? Is it the shower? Are you thinking about it? The shower? So I think I've been thinking about it for decades.
我的心态是我可能明天就会死。每一个没有这样想法的人，我觉得他们可能对今天缺乏感恩。我是一个天生的乐观主义者，我就是这么认为的。但我在想，这样的心态究竟是什么样子呢？因为没有人能看到过去的二三十年里发生了什么，有多少努力付出？感觉像是兼职在做？是在空闲时间做的吗？是在洗澡的时候思考的吗？所以我觉得自己已经思考了几十年。

And now even now, it consumes my thoughts at certain points in time, even though I try to also be present in the moment. It's not like a absolute obsession. Seven hours a day is pretty rough. But the muse of creativity comes to me and it's so fulfilling. It's the same way like this book, putting this book on paper, you're an author as well, was such an exceptional challenge because my thoughts and then crafting the amount of the page into words.
即便现在，它依旧在某些时刻占据我的心思，尽管我尽量让自己活在当下。这并不是一种绝对的痴迷，每天花七小时在这上面确实比较艰难。但创作的灵感来临时，那种满足感是无可比拟的。这种体验就像把这本书写在纸上一样，对你这位作者来说也是一种极大的挑战，因为要把我的想法转化成一页一页的文字。

And also at the end of the day, who cares about me? I always have this mindset of I need to prove to you. I don't come from the assumption of you should watch me because I'm great. I have an inverse. I said, I need to define to you why you should be watching, why you should be listening, why this should excite you, why this should amaze you. Hopefully it inspired you to take action and you got something tangible that will provide a value in your life. And I wouldn't have written the book.
说到底，又有谁真正关心我呢？我总是有一种心态，就是需要向你证明自己。我从来不假设你应该因为我很出色就关注我。恰恰相反，我认为我需要向你解释清楚，为什么你应该关注我，为什么你该听我说，为什么这件事情能让你兴奋，让你惊叹。希望这能激励你采取行动，并从中获得对你生活有价值的东西。如果没有这些，我可能也不会去写这本书。

Trust me, the book, I didn't need to write this book. I wrote the book because so many people had said to me, we want to know what helped you achieve success and they're fascinated by this pursuit. And I think that was it. I just was driven by the people around me that they said you should write this. And I felt I finally had a story to tell.
相信我，这本书我本来不需要写。我之所以写这本书，是因为很多人对我说，他们想知道是什么帮助我取得了成功，他们对这个追求非常感兴趣。我想这就是原因。我只是被周围的人推动，他们都说我应该写这本书。我觉得自己终于有了一个故事可以讲述。

And what's the one thing about your success and your new life that if this guy knew he may have hesitated a little bit to pursue the life that you know how. I think being very busy and success has its pitfalls. If you assign yourself a steam to something others can give you, be it fame, be it money, be it things that are intangible and that can be taken away and you don't just define yourself worth by something internal like your own drive, competing at yourself, creating your own goals, then it's fleeting.
如果这个人知道了关于你的成功和新生活的一件事，可能会稍微犹豫一下去追求你现在的生活方式。我认为，忙碌和成功有其陷阱。如果你把自我价值寄托在别人能给予的东西上，不管是名声、金钱，还是那些无形且随时可能消失的东西，而不是通过内在的动力、自身的竞争力和自主设定的目标来定义自己的价值，那么这种成功是短暂的。

Fame, for example, there's going to be ups and downs. Every career has a life cycle. Right now things are going very well. There's no question that a certain point, the peak hits and now you go down. And it's inevitable. And I don't think about that. I'd like to continue the peak or continue climbing and climbing climbing. But when that happens, I'm aware of it. And I will not, it's not a something that will define who I am. This is part of it.
名声，比如说，会有起起伏伏。每个职业都有它的生命周期。现在事情进展得很顺利。但毫无疑问，在某个时刻，会达到顶峰，然后开始下滑。这是不可避免的。不过我不去想这些。我希望能继续保持巅峰，或是不断向上攀登。但当下滑发生时，我会有所察觉。我不会让它定义我是谁。这只是生活的一部分。

I think having outside interests and challenging yourself outside of your comfort zone for me, ultra-marathons, marathons, athletic pursuits that cannot be bought, they must be earned. And I think that's something we value more and more in our day-to-day life. Because again, there's influencers, there's people, there's followers, there's all this stuff that I don't want to call fickle. But it can be bought.
我认为拥有外部兴趣，并在自己的舒适区之外挑战自己是很有价值的。对我来说，像超级马拉松、马拉松这样的运动追求是无法用金钱买到的，而是必须通过努力获得的。我认为这种追求在我们的日常生活中越来越被重视。因为，如今有很多网红、追随者等现象，我不想称之为虚浮，但它们确实可以通过金钱购买。

What can be earned? Earned or things that you, this has been earned by you. This has been you putting in sweat equity for decades, believing in yourself. Each time you get a big guess, you harness your momentum and get a bigger guess. You've earned this. You've created a team around you. I think that's something notable and that people should decide what's your goal.
什么是可以赚取的？你已经努力赚取的东西，或者说你多年辛苦努力所获得的东西。这些都是你通过几十年的汗水积累，坚信自己而取得的。每当你成功时，你利用这股动力去争取更大的成功。这一切都是你应得的。你还聚集了一支团队。这是一件值得注意的事情，人们应该去确定自己的目标。

And as you strive towards it, that's where you feel the fulfillment. For me, it's been being on the road. Like the most biggest negative is being away from my children and wife. And that's success. And I cannot do that. If I want to be successful, I have to be gone a lot. And so I have to find that balance between the two of having my kids miss me, but also creating a life for them in the future and also juggling the fact that I have you know, major career ambitions.
当你为之努力时，你会感到一种满足感。对我来说，这种满足感来自于在路上的生活。然而，最大的负面影响就是离开我的孩子和妻子。而这正是成功的代价。如果我想要成功，我必须经常离开他们。因此，我必须在让孩子们想念我的同时，为他们未来的生活创造条件，并实现我重大的职业抱负之间找到平衡。

And is there anything else that my audience might be able to take away and actually in their own lives that is in line with maybe just the David Gorgens quote in the front of your book, learn to master the most powerful weapon you might. Is there anything else that my audience should be aware of so that they can show up better in their lives in the pursuit of that goals? I think defining your goals is huge.
你能帮我翻译成中文吗，并且尽量让意思简单易读：在我书的开头有个David Gorgens的引言，让我们学会掌握可能是你最强大的武器。除此之外，还有没有其他建议能让我的读者运用到生活中，以便更好地追求他们的目标呢？我认为明确自己的目标非常重要。

Looking yourself in the mirror and being honest and seeing what that voice really says to you because I just like everybody else have had feelings of inadequacy, feelings of I'm not going to be able to pull this off. And it's not that it's not as if I'm there's a superhuman thing of I'm you know, I'm putting my head down. I'm going to get through it like Gorgens doesn't stop. If you're a met him, he is a machine.
照镜子时，要诚实地面对自己，倾听内心的声音，因为我和大家一样，都曾感到过不自信，觉得自己可能无法完成某件事。这并不是一种超人的能力，不是说我可以低头努力就能解决一切。如果你见过高根斯，你会发现他简直就是一台机器，永不停歇。

He's amazing. But he goes out and he'll tell you, he's the first one who doesn't want to go out and run when it's raining and cold and freezing. But you know, I does it because he didn't want to do it. That's where the real work is when I'm doing a workout that's exceptionally hard. When it gets to the hardest part, that's when I tell myself all of this was easy. This is where I'm actually growing.
他很厉害。但他会告诉你，他是第一个不想在下雨、寒冷、冰冻的时候出去跑步的人。但你知道吗，我这样做是因为我不想做。这正是真正的努力所在，当我在做一项特别艰难的训练时，到最困难的部分时，我告诉自己先前的一切都是简单的。正是在这一刻，我才真正成长。

So I challenge you right now to assign yourself a goal. Right now, if you get one thing out of this podcast, decide one thing that you want to strive for to find it. Define it. Don't do these pie in the sky things. Goals that are achievable have to be quantifiable. Be it a number, be it something achievable, decide what it is and make tomorrow the first day you go after it and create all of the things that will help you succeed, not fail. Most of us when we start a goal, the joke is you start January 1st, everyone's starting their fitness journey by February. No one's in the gym anymore. Why is that? Why does everyone give up? Because the hard work is at the beginning. Those first few weeks of setting a habit in place. I have a lot of things in here that are all about how you form habits. I literally put in the book Proven Habits for Success. It's not tricks.
所以，我现在挑战你，给自己设定一个目标。如果你从这个播客中得到了什么，请决定一件你想要努力实现的事情，并明确它。不要设置那些遥不可及的目标。可实现的目标必须是可以量化的，可以是一个数字，可以是其它可实现的事项。决定是什么，并让明天成为你追求它的第一天，创造所有能帮助你成功而非失败的条件。我们大多数人在设立目标时，就像一个笑话：1月1日每个人都开始他们的健身计划，但到2月时，健身房里就没人了。这是为什么呢？为什么每个人都放弃了？因为在开始的时候最辛苦。头几周是形成习惯的时候。我在这里讲了很多关于如何养成习惯的内容，我甚至在书中列出了“成功的习惯”。这些不是小技巧。

For example, Atomic Habits had a huge impact on me. Some of these books that show you, where's that inflection point from you trying to do something to you ingraining it in your muscle memory? And now it becomes self-fulfilling. You keep doing it because you like doing it. I didn't love running when I started. Now running is my vacation. I enjoy running. It gives me a flow state. I make up new ideas. I get to kind of check in with myself. I think physical activity is so important. So many of the chronic diseases and things we have are lifestyle choices and inactivity. We could solve so many huge problems we have. Simply by eating healthier and start working out a little more. And nobody wants to hear that, but you do a little bit of hard work. You continue and you maintain. So yeah, I'm hoping that's useful, but that's what I want people to do. If you take action tomorrow and start making your goals happen, get inside your own head, that's what I want you to do right now.
例如，《原子习惯》对我产生了巨大的影响。有些书能让你明白，从尝试去做某事到把它融入肌肉记忆的转折点在哪里？那时，它就会自然而然地发生。你会不断地去做，因为你喜欢这样做。一开始我并不喜欢跑步，但现在跑步成了我的休闲时光。我喜欢跑步，它让我进入一种心流状态，我能在跑步时产生新的想法，并进行自我检查。我认为体育运动非常重要，许多慢性病和问题都源于生活方式的选择和缺乏运动。仅仅通过更健康的饮食习惯，稍微多进行一些锻炼，我们就能解决很多大的问题。虽然没人愿意听这些，但你只需付出一点努力，继续坚持并保持下去。我希望这些对你有用，这就是我希望人们去做的事情。如果你明天采取行动，开始实现你的目标，深入思考自己，这就是我现在希望你去做的事情。

But do you remember when I had you close your eyes and I had you see hundreds of different people? I had you envision people that you've met, famous people, people that you like, people that you care about, all those different people. And one person tapped you on the shoulder gave you a piece of advice. Do you remember that? Yeah. And that piece of advice set in motion, you thinking of jewels. Yeah. Who is the person who tapped you on the shoulder you turned around, you looked them in the eye. And they said something to you that changed your life, created a memorable moment and put in place that domino effect. Tell me, who did you think of? Michelle Obama. Open up that piece of paper. It's a photo, Michelle Obama. She was gorgeous, then.
但是你还记得吗，当时我要你闭上眼睛，想象成百上千个不同的人？我要你想象你见过的人、名人、你喜欢的人、你关心的人，所有这些不同的人。有一个人拍了拍你的肩膀，给了你一个建议。你记得吗？记得。就是那个建议让你开始思考宝石的价值。是谁拍了拍你的肩膀，你转过身来，看到那个人的眼睛，他跟你说了些什么，改变了你的人生，创造了一个难忘的时刻，并引发了一连串的变化。告诉我，你想到了谁？米歇尔·奥巴马。打开那张纸，是一张米歇尔·奥巴马的照片。她那时候真的很美。

Okay. We have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest without knowing who they're leaving it for. And the question that's been left for you is fantastic. If you could live forever, would you? And why or why not? I think I would. I think I would. An obsession of mine growing up has been science fiction. My favorite books to read. The ones that just capture my imagination. And there are so many books I've read about immortality. And there's a book that this brings to mind by Octavia E. Butler, which is underrated. It's called Wild Seed. And not a lot of people have read it. It's a sci-fi book. And it delves into this exact subject. And just what would it be like to see all the people around you pass away and the sadness? And then what would you do? Because at some point you'd feel empty. People just die, right? It's kind of like, think of it as the life of an insect. Just they disappear. They come. They go. They come. They go.
好的。在我们的播客中有一个结束的传统：最后一位嘉宾会为下一位嘉宾留下一个问题，而他们并不知道这个问题会问给谁。留给你的这个问题很有意思：如果你能永远活下去，你会选择这样做吗？为什么会或者为什么不会？我想我会选择永生。从小我就对科幻小说有一种痴迷，那些能激发我想象力的书都是我的最爱。我读过很多关于永生的书，这让我想起一本被低估的小说，是奥克塔维亚·E·巴特勒写的，名叫《野生种子》。知道这本书的人不多。它是一本科幻小说，深入探讨了这个问题：看到周围的人都相继离世会是什么感觉，那份悲伤；然后，你会怎么做？因为在某个时刻你会觉得空虚。人们就是这样去世，对吧？就像昆虫的一生，它们只会来来去去。

And I think that eventually you would revert back to being completely numbing cold. But at the same time, death is just that abyss that everyone, no matter how much we avoid thinking about it, talking about it, you're going to die. I'm going to die. In one day, you'll have that final breath. Will you know what's going to happen? Will you not? What will you think about in those moments? What will you go into it with? Will you still have fear of death? I think our whole lives are an extension of trying to avoid thinking about our eventual death. I think I would love to live forever. But I bet you, once I live forever, it would start to be a curse. I can't wait to think of the question I'm going to ask the next person. Thank you so much.
我认为最终你会恢复到完全麻木的冷漠状态。但是，同时，死亡就是那个深渊，无论我们多么努力避免去想、去谈论它，你我都会死去。有一天，你将迎来最后一口气。你会知道接下来会发生什么吗？你不知道吗？在那些瞬间你会想些什么呢？你会以怎样的心态面对呢？你是否仍然会害怕死亡？我觉得我们的一生都在试图避免去思考我们的最终死亡。我想我很希望永生。但是，我敢说，一旦我活得太长久，那可能会变成一种诅咒。我迫不及待地想问下一个人的问题是什么。非常感谢。

Thank you for writing a book that inspires people to live their better life. And I think all the principles in here are all human principles that focus on how we can relate better to other people. And so many people are struggling to connect with other people for so many reasons. And that's causing so much downstream mental health issues and physiological issues and disconnection in the world. And we're seeing that increasingly.
感谢您写了一本激励人们过上更好生活的书。我认为书中的所有原则都是人类相处的基本原则，旨在帮助我们更好地与他人建立联系。因为种种原因，许多人都在努力与他人沟通交流，这导致了众多下游的心理健康问题、生理问题以及世界上的人际疏离。这种情况在当今变得愈加明显。

If you've gone the internet, you see a lot of disconnection because we're struggling to relate to people. And I think it's, you know, the most, I think for me, the most important byproduct of the work that you do is you make people curious and open-minded. And there's so much that comes from that. People just being a bit more curious. And that's, you know, that all people get, the magic of it. I think it makes people's minds expansive.
如果你上过网，你会发现很多人之间缺乏联系，因为我们在努力与他人交往。我认为，你工作的一个最重要副产品就是让人们变得好奇和开放。好奇心带来了许多好处。人们只需多一点好奇心，就能体验到其中的奇妙。我认为这可以扩展人们的思维。

And if people have expansive minds, then that might just be the catalyst to all types of progress. I love it. Do you know what I'm saying? Like that? I think being open-minded and having a different feeling than the usual, which is in our day to day, we get into this autopilot. But yes, we feel pings of joy, pings of anxiety, pings of depression, pings of happiness.
如果人们有开阔的思维，那这可能就是推动各种进步的催化剂。我喜欢这种想法。你明白我的意思吗？就像那样。我认为保持开放的心态，并且拥有与平常不同的感受是很重要的。因为在我们的日常生活中，我们常常进入一种自动驾驶的状态。不过，是的，我们会感受到一丝喜悦，一丝焦虑，一丝抑郁，还有一丝快乐。

My, I told you, the thing I got addicted to was giving people this different feeling, which is a feeling you lose out. Children, you see it in their eyes. Again, it's a little hokey to say, but when I see my three year old or my two year old discover something new and you see it through their eyes, it's a gift. It's something you get back because once you're an adult, you can't have that same thing because you've been come jaded to the world.
我告诉过你，我上瘾的事情是带给别人一种不同的感觉，那是一种你错过的感觉。在孩子们的眼中，你可以看到这种感觉。虽然说起来有点俗，但当我看到我三岁或两岁的孩子发现新事物时，通过他们的眼睛看到这些，这是一个礼物。这是一种你能得到的回报，因为一旦你长大成人，你就无法再拥有那种感觉，因为你对世界已经感到厌倦了。

And suddenly for them to see a butterfly fly. And it's like this joyful experience and seeing it through a kid's eyes. It's honestly, it's been the greatest joy in my life. You see joy of my kids. It's seeing that because it's in our DNA. That's my version of immortality. I humans lose that. We get more clues. We lose that more and more. And it's said to me because I have lost it knowing how I do the things I do.
突然之间，他们看到一只蝴蝶飞舞。这是一种充满快乐的体验，就像通过孩子的眼睛看到世界一样。说实话，这一直是我人生中最大的快乐。看到我的孩子们的快乐，因为这就是我们的本性。这是我对永恒的理解。但是人类逐渐失去了这种能力。我们获得了更多的线索，但同时也失去了这种天真无邪的快乐。对我来说，这是一种遗憾，因为我知道自己已经失去了这一点。

So to ask me the good question is, if I get fooled by another magician or a man, how does it make me feel? Amazing. It's the best feeling. And I try immediately to hold back the part of me that wants to know how it was done. Because right away, there's a professional curiosity. The same way that a movie star or a director can't watch a movie and just think of it.
所以，问我一个好问题就是：如果我被另一个魔术师或一个人骗了，我的感受是什么？很棒。这是最好的感觉。我会立刻努力抑制住自己想知道魔术如何做到的那一部分。因为作为一个专业人士，很自然地会有这样的好奇心。就像一个电影明星或导演无法只是单纯地看电影，而不去思考一样。

They're watching. Here's I did the camera. Here's this panning shot. Here's the ISO. Right. They can't disconnect from the how the sausage is made. Yeah. I, because those moments are so few and far between I instantly in my mind stop. I stop myself from the how. And I enjoy that wonder because it's so few for me that I can't because I know everything's done.
他们在看。这是我处理摄像机的方法。这是一个横移镜头。这是ISO（感光度）设置。对，他们无法不去想事情的幕后运作过程。是的，因为这种时候太少了，我脑子里会立刻停止思考那些细节。我让自己从这些技术细节中抽离出来，享受那种奇妙的感觉，因为这种对我来说太少了，我没法享受，因为我知道一切都是怎么运作的。

So when I get it, I love it. It's like the day you figured out Santa Claus wasn't real. It's like bursting an illusion. And when I figured out Santa Claus wasn't real, my world got small, like the possibilities of the world got smaller because there when magic existed, anything was possible. Right. I'm at a great place to live.
当我明白过来时，我很喜欢这种感觉。这就像你发现圣诞老人并不真实的那一天。就像戳破了一个幻想。当我意识到圣诞老人不是真的，我的世界变得狭小，就像世界的可能性变得更有限了，因为当魔法存在的时候，一切皆有可能。对吧。我住在一个非常好的地方。

But when I found out Santa Claus wasn't real, I was like, oh, you know, yes. It's like, oh, there's no magic in this world. Right. And that's not a nice way to believe. And you're, you're, you know, the work that you're doing and the performance is that you do the entertainment you bring, keeps people's minds open.
但是，当我发现圣诞老人不是真的时，我觉得，好吧，明白了。这就好像，哦，原来这个世界上没有魔法。对吧。这种想法其实并不美好。而你的工作、表演以及你带来的娱乐，能让人们保持心灵的开放。

And lets them imagine be creative and believe that there's still magic in this world. And that's a wonderful thing. I highly recommend people go get your book. I'm going to link it below and put it on screen for anyone that wants to grab it. It's called Read Your Mind, Preven Habits for Success from the world's greatest mentalist and the people on the back are some of which are my friends.
让他们去想象、发挥创造力，并相信这个世界上仍然存在魔法。这真是件美妙的事情。我强烈推荐大家去看看你的这本书。我会在下面附上链接，并在屏幕上显示，方便任何想要得到它的人。书名是《阅读你的思维，成功的习惯》，作者是世界顶级心灵魔术师，书的背面有一些人也是我的朋友。

I've got an investor of mine on here. Many of my former podcast guests on here as well, like J. Shetty and Mark Cuban and Adam Grant and on the front David Guggins. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having. Thank you for putting this out in the world. And I enjoy this.
我这里有一位我的投资者。我以前的许多播客嘉宾也在这里，比如J. Shetty、Mark Cuban、Adam Grant，还有David Guggins。谢谢你们，谢谢你们，谢谢你们的参与。感谢你们把这些内容分享给世界。我很喜欢这个。

Even though you're recent one and AI scared the crap out of me, I'm honored to have been a guest. And I can't wait to write a question for the next person and live on. Make sure you keep what I'm about to say to yourself. I'm inviting 10,000 of you to come even deeper into the Diarivacy. Welcome to my Inner Circle.
尽管你是新来的，人工智能也让我感到非常害怕，但我仍感到荣幸能够成为一名访客。我迫不及待地想为下一个人写一个问题，并继续生活下去。确保你对接下来我要说的话保密。我邀请你们当中的一万人更深入地进入这个“隐私日记圈”。欢迎进入我的内圈。

This is a brand new private community that I'm launching to the world. We have so many incredible things that happen that you are never shown. We have the briefs that are on my pad when I'm recording the conversation. We have clips we've never released. We have behind the scenes conversations with the guests and also the episodes that we've never ever released.
这是我即将向全世界推出的一个全新私人社区。我们有许多令人难以置信的事情发生，而这些事情你从未见过。我们有录音时放在笔记本上的简报，有从未发布的剪辑片段，还有和嘉宾之间的幕后对话，以及我们从未发布过的剧集。

And so much more. In the circle you'll have direct access to me, you can tell us what you want this show to be, who you want us to interview and the types of conversations you would love us to have.
还有更多。在这个圈子里，您可以直接与我交流，告诉我们您希望这个节目如何展现、希望我们采访哪些人物，以及您希望我们进行哪些类型的对话。

But remember for now we're only inviting the first 10,000 people that joined before it closes. So if you want to join our private close community head to the link in the description below or go to.
请记住，目前我们只邀请在截止之前加入的前10,000人。因此，如果您想加入我们的私人封闭社区，请点击下面描述中的链接或访问相关网站。